Wake Up
by birchermuesli
Summary: James Potter is convinced that he and Lily Evans are meant to be. Sirius tries to help by gaining access to her thoughts. There he finds 'sexy chickens' and Remus Lupin's buttocks. But then everything goes haywire, and Lily is seriously confused.
1. Collisions

_**Wake Up**_

**by birchermuesli**

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**Title: **Wake Up  
**Author: **birchermuesli  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Genre: **Romance/Humour  
**Disclaimer: **_Wake Up _is a fanfiction based upon characters and situations owned or created by J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros. Inc., Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and other publishers. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**Author's Notes (17/01/11):**

Hello there, thanks for picking up this fanfiction! :) I've recently gone a little crazy trying to fix up some horrible spacing mistakes in these first few chapters.

As of now, I have 4 chapters remaining until I finish this story. Your support has been incredible - really, without all your lovely reviews/favourites/alerts (that puts a ridiculous loony grin on my face every time I receive one) I seriously doubt that I could have even gotten half as far as I have now.

For all you newbies, you'll be finding that I update every 4-5 days or so. :P And I do apologise in advance for some appalling writing in the first half of this story. Please don't blind your eyes, and enjoy!

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**Wake Up - Chapter 1:**

Lily groaned as she woke up to her eyes being blinded by the sun. _That would mean that it's already seven-thirty, eight o'clock… no time for shower…_

She blearily turned to her right and fumbled with the small clock on her bedside table, forcing herself to squint an eyelid open. In big, flashing red block lights, the time read:

8:30.

"SHIT!" she screamed and leapt out of bed, bringing her doona down with her. "Shit, shit, shit, _shit!_" Classes had already started. Lily let out a long stream of curses that she had once sworn never to utter out loud as she dashed around the dormitory, washing her face, pulling on her robes and gathering her books at breakneck speed. She fumbled with a black hair-tie and combed her bright orange hair into a loose ponytail with her fingers whilst frantically rushing down the stairs into the Gryffindor Common Room.

Lily dashed out the portrait hole and took a sharp left turn, mumbling incoherently to herself all the while about how McGonagall was going to "murder me", "roast me on a stick", and "pull each of my hairs out one by one whilst throwing my badge out to Hagrid's Blast-Ended Skrewts". She became too caught up with her thoughts that she didn't notice herself colliding head-first into a student before it was too late, sending the two sprawling across the ground with books flying at all directions.

"Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, still panting from the frenzied fit she had been in ever since jumping out of bed. "Argh, and I'm supposed to be Head Girl! What is _wrong_ with me? I can't get anything right! Oh Merlin, I've probably made you late for your classes," she rambled on apologetically in the process of collecting her and the student's books. "Accio Transfiguration book. Accio other Transfiguration book. Accio… oh for crying out LOUD, why do we have so many bloody Transfiguration books?" she yelled.

There was silence for a few moments until an amused voice broke the silence from the ground in front of her, "Lily, it's all right. Everyone's late to class sometime or another. Besides, we all know that you're such a klutz anyway."

Lily's mouth dropped open as she darted her head up, realising in horror that she had not even seen the face of the student she had collided into yet. Her cheeks blazed instantly as she was met with the all-too-familiar sandy brown hair and ocean blue eyes that swum with emotion, intelligence, and just the right amount of humour.

She groaned internally. Why did he have to see her like this now? She looked like a freaking ape resurrected from the dead!

Because standing up cheerfully, brushing his legs down in front of her like nothing significant had just occurred, was Remus Lupin.

As Lily sat there gawping at him as if he had told her that the apocalypse had come, Remus smiled gently and bent over, offering her a helping hand. She took it wordlessly, but still could not bring herself to shake off the stunned expression plastered upon her face.

"Thanks for getting my books," he said, placing his hand at the small of her back and guiding her across the corridor to a classroom on their right. Lily jumped at his touch, but knew he meant nothing by it. They had practically been part of the same friendship circle for six years.

"That's alright," was all she could manage to squeak, before opening the door and shuffling into class with him.

"Looks like you have McGonagall as well," he muttered cheerfully. "Should be interesting."

Professor McGonagall's stern eyes glared at them over her thinly framed silver spectacles. "Miss Evans and Mr Lupin, may you please explain as to why you have not arrived to class on time?"

"My apologies, Professor, we had a little collision on the way," Remus replied in a polite tone. Lily simply nodded dumbly with him, hoping desperately that Professor McGonagall would be too distracted to notice her dishevelled appearance and reprimand her for not setting a good example to the younger students at Hogwarts.

"Very well. Take a seat, and do not be late again," she said grimly, before turning back to her textbook and resuming the lesson with the class.

Lily looked around the classroom and smiled shyly as Remus winked at her and took a seat next to Peter. Her two best mates Emmeline Vance and Alice Prewett waved their arms frantically to catch her attention, gesturing to a seat at the table beside them at the back of the classroom. Lily scrunched her nose in distaste as she saw that it was the only vacant spot remaining.

It just _had_ to be next to Potter, who had been running a hand through his ego-inflated hair and grinning nervously at her from the very time she had stepped into the classroom.

Ugh.

She pouted and walked over to the seat, grumbling as she saw Potter's grin at the corner of her eye. "Hey Evans!" he whispered.

"Shut the hell up Potter, and don't even think about it," she hissed, glaring at him ferociously whilst taking her books and parchment out from her bag.

He looked at her confused, large hazel eyes boring into her own. "Think about what?"

"Asking me out. It's class time. Do not distract me."

James still looked perplexed, but said nothing in response. He reluctantly turned away from her to face McGonagall, disappointment evident on his face. Lily felt a tug of guilt at her stomach, but quickly dismissed it and flipped to page 357 of the textbook, tuning into the class.

She had just hurt James Potter, and she didn't even know why.

Stupid Potter.

Halfway through the lesson, Lily felt a nudge on her elbow. She continued to take notes, her mind only half attentive to what McGonagall was saying.

"Hey," James whispered. "Could I please borrow a spare piece of parchment? I just ran out."

Lily nodded mutely and looked up as she pushed the parchment across the table to him, finding herself staring at the soft and grateful expression upon on his face for a second too long. And even after James muttered his thanks and had begun to write, she still couldn't help but sneak glances at him every few minutes as the class went by.


	2. All In The Head

**Wake Up - Chapter 2**

Emmeline waved her hand directly in front of her friend's face several times. "Lily! Lily! Umm hello? Earth to Lily, Earth to Lily?"

Lily jerked in her chair, coming out of her reverie. "What?" she mumbled, sitting up on her chair.

"Class is over. What's up with you?"

It was only then she realized that the rest of the classroom was empty, and that she had been steadily slipping down her chair whilst staring at a certain Remus Lupin's buttocks the entire time. She blushed furiously at the image, but said nothing. _That, _she thought, _is for my mind only._

Suddenly a voice chuckled in her head. _Your mind only, eh? Nice one Evans. Never thought you would have the hots for old Moony. But then again, it makes sense._

Lily jumped out of her seat, her mouth dropping wide open in a huge O. "The _fuck?_" she spluttered after a long pause. "Oh, Merlin's long hairy beard, I really _am _crazy!"

Emmeline regarded her with apprehension. "Lil," she said slowly, "I think we should go now. Come on, I'll take your books and we'll go to lunch. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Lily waved her hand impatiently and power-walked through the door into the hallway, her mind still all muddled with the fact that somebody was _speaking to her in her head_. Emmeline rushed to keep up with her quick stride whilst balancing two heavy stacks of transfiguration textbooks. She eventually gave up and left Lily to proceed on her own.

_I don't think Prongs will be too happy though._

Lily's face reddened. "I must be bloody insane," she muttered again before replying to the voice, _Who the rudding hell are you, and what have you done with me?_

_Easy there Evans. You don't want to get too far ahead of yourself._

_Are you actually _real_?_

_Yes._

_Seriously, you've got to be kidding me._

_Oh yes, I'm serious. There is no way in the world I cannot be serious. Girl, I was BORN to be serious! _the voice ended, emphasizing the word 'BORN' with a bouncy, obnoxious accent.

Lily stopped walking and closed her eyes painfully. _Oh good lord. Sirius Black has invaded my brain._

What an absolutely fantastic way to begin her day.

The voice took on a confused tone. _What? _Sirius asked._How did you figure out so quickly?_

_One – no one else in the entire school would force themselves to use that pun after hearing it for seven years straight, _Lily replied wryly, ticking off the boxes in her head. She continued, _And two – you sound like a girl._

_Hey, I do not sound like a girl!_

_Shut up, Black. I'll see you at lunch. And you have some serious_ _explanations to give._

_Don't worry, I'll always be serious._

_SHUT UP!_

_By the way, don't go off thinking that your secret will be safe. I think this calls for some quick and swift negotiation._

"You're blackmailing me," Lily stated as-a-matter-of-factly out loud, disbelief all too evident on her face.

"That I am, Evans," Sirius replied smoothly from behind.

Lily immediately swerved around to face him. Her mouth contorted in frustration. She growled from the back of her throat, pulling at her hair violently. "ARGH!" she exclaimed. "_Why _are you appearing everywhere out of nowhere?"

Sirius' eyes twinkled in amusement. "Everywhere out of nowhere? Really, Evans, your grades must be slipping. Those sneaky ass-glances on Moony really are detrimental to your studies."

Lily's face turned to a lovely shade of deep beetroot red. "I do not ass-glance on Remus!" she huffed. "But seri—_honestly _Black," she corrected, shooting the boy a deathly glance as he opened his mouth with a smirk, "You. Have. Answers. To give. NOW!" She jabbed at his chest hard, hoping vehemently that it would bruise _severely _later on. "No one can just... come into my mind like that! And Sirius Black too," she moaned aside to herself.

She always knew that she was an unlucky child. But this?

_Why her?_

"Oh relax, I won't do anything rash. Hopefully," added Sirius with a cheeky grin. "You know me. Since when have I done something to leave a girl sobbing at my feet?"

Since when had he left a girl sobbing at his feet? He was _Sirius Black._

Lily couldn't do anything but stare.

Sirius seemed to realise what he said, and grimaced. "Okay fine, forget that. Room of Requirement tonight?"

"One in the morning, sharp_. _And don't you dare be late."

Sirius smiled indulgently and sauntered away towards the Great Hall. He turned his head back. Lily was still rooted to the spot, completely overwhelmed by the entire situation.

Really, who could blame her?

"Don't worry, I wouldn't miss it for the world," Sirius called out with a decisive wink. When Lily failed to reply to the snarky comment, he smirked. "Good then. It's a date."

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**I do apologise profusely for this chapter. I just re-read it three months after writing it, and it's possibly the most horrendous thing one could ever set their eyes upon.**

**It DOES get better though! I promise. :P**

**~ birchermuesli xx**


	3. My Favourite Bottom

**Wake Up - Chapter 3**

Thankfully enough, Black did not intrude upon her thoughts for the remainder of the day. Lily sat, ate, listened to her friends, and took notes in class, but for the most part she could not take her mind off wondering how the hell he had managed to get into her head.

_There will be answers tonight, _she told herself firmly. But of course, that did not stop her from contemplating all the possibilities. Could Sirius have engineered a spell that enabled him to talk to other people in their minds? It was virtually impossible that a seventeen-year-old would have the ability to do such a thing. Maybe he was involved in the Dark Arts. Maybe Lord Voldemort had offered him incentives to finally yield to his family's will. But _why her? _Surely he would rather have broken into somebody else's mind, someone more interesting like 'Snivellus' or Emmeline, of whom he had been crushing on for the past few weeks.

Lily's mind spun round and round in circles, not making head or toe of anything. So she did the only thing that would distract her – bury herself in schoolwork. Straight after classes finished, Lily tore off to the library with a stack of books tucked beneath her arm and immediately began the thirteen-inch essay she had been assigned in her last class on the Polyjuice Potion. Then she started to write the relatively simple Charms essay that she still had two and a half weeks to complete; and when she had finished _that, _Lily even resorted desperately to reviewing her Divination notes, though she knew it was all rubbish.

Sadly, after completing an Arithmancy assignment, Lily found herself completely and utterly Homeworkless and thus had no distraction to steer her from mulling over The Black Situation. For the first time in her life, she found herself anxiously longing for something, _anything, _to keep her from her thoughts. Because thoughts equalled invasion which meant Sirius Black, which was_seriously _not good. Never had the bugger frustrated her to this extent in the past.

Merlin granted Lily her distraction, but it was not the type she liked. (She was getting quite picky, Lily was.)

After staring at the wall for three minutes straight, fidgeting in a manner that would have driven any onlooker bonkers after a short while, Lily finally jumped out of her chair with an exasperated sigh and muttered "Oh, what the hell," before running off to the Legilimency shelves at the end of the library.

The aisle seemed to caution her away. It was dark, shadowed and dusty, evidently unvisited, and reeked badly of old rotting books. Lily begun from the top left, slowly making her way across each row and pulling out any books with a title that seemed remotely relevant to The Black Situation. She persisted in doing this until, when tugging one especially thick and dusty hardback out, she saw a pair of lips twisting into a smile through the gap opposite her that the empty book had just exposed.

Lily could tell the owner of those lips anywhere. It was all she could do to stop herself from sprinting up to the boy at full speed and launching herself on top of him.

Seeing her shocked emerald-green eyes and red waves of hair, Remus cocked his head in surprise. His eyes widened. "Lily! Hey, what's up?"

Lily grinned and threaded her way through to his aisle so that she could talk to him properly. She absolutely _adored _these accidental run-ins with her true love!

She frowned momentarily at the sign above the aisle – _Magical Creatures._

Why would Remus have any interest in Magical Creatures? He had stopped classes about them a long time ago.

Remus seemed to be thinking along the same lines as her. "What were you doing in the Legilimency section?" he inquired. "Oh, please don't tell me if you'd prefer not to," he backtracked embarrassedly. "Sorry, just slipped from my mind…"

"No, don't worry Remus," Lily laughed. "You're such a... _gentleman_. It beats me how you can live with those egotistical lumpheads Potter and Black every day." She didn't even bother mentioning Peter – he was just too unnoticeable amongst his counterparts.

Remus frowned. "They're not bad, you know," he tried to reason. "Honestly Lily, they're the best friends I could ever have. I don't think I'd even be stretching the truth if I said that they'd both risk their lives for me. And they _do _care an awful lot about you," he emphasised kindly. "Especially James."

For some unknown reason that last comment planted an uncomfortable squirm back into her stomach. It was guilt – Lily had been such a git to Potter this year, and she wouldn't know what to do with herself if she had learnt that James had not acted equally as horrible accordingly.

Lily ordered the squirm to go away. It didn't.

"Yeah right," she scoffed. "Potter's nothing more than a bullying toerag."

Remus smiled, his bright eyes fixed upon her amusedly. Lily's heart skipped a beat.

"Lily Evans, that's a lie and you know it," he teased. He reached to put his arm across her shoulder, but was interrupted by a small voice behind him.

"Um, hey Remus? Could I talk to you for a sec?" Melody Varnes, a sixth-year Hufflepuff student, giggled as she spun a strand of honey-blonde curls around her finger, regarding Remus with greedy desire.

_Oh no you don't, _Lily thought furiously. _Only I get to eat Remmy up._

Remus looked stunned. "Oh. Um," he stammered. "I..."

"Sorry, maybe later," Lily interrupted rudely. "Remus is busy now." She grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the library without even bothering to say goodbye to the girl.

Once they were safely outside, Remus exhaled deeply and looked at her in relief. "Thanks for saving me there," he muttered. "I really didn't know what to do."

Lily shook her head with a smile, nudging him playfully. She was slightly disappointed he didn't realise that the act was not entirely on platonic grounds, but that didn't deter her. "You get stuff like this every day!" she said. "You even have your own _fan club, _and you still don't know how to deal with it?"

Remus blushed and looked down, mumbling, "It's not really me, you know, it's more James and Sirius."

Lily snorted in a very unladylike manner. "Rem, girls _fawn _over you. Fourth years and above. Maybe even Third years," she tipped her head in contemplation. "But seriously, you should hear what they say about you in my dorm at night," she giggled. "Melissa especially. 'Oh, he was shirtless after Quidditch practice,'"she imitated girlishly. "'So _steamin' _sexy, that Remus Lupin. What I wouldn't do to see more…'"

Remus froze and immediately disentangled himself from Lily's arm, hurrying away in the opposite direction. Even from her limited vision, Lily could see his entire face positively boiling with embarrassment.

She turned around and strode after him. "Merlin!" she remarked unabashedly in high spirits, smirking all the way. "You're not supposed to blush this much. You don't have red hair!"

"Oh shut up already!" Remus whined.

Lily tipped her head back and let out the loud cackle she had been holding for so long. "Oh, this is priceless," she said faintly, wiping her eyes in hysterics. "You should see the look on your face."

_Ahh, I see how it is. Run along to the library, forget about me, and indulge yourself to your favourite bottom._

Lily abruptly halted her footsteps, narrowing her eyes. "Black," she spat.

And, as expected, Sirius and James rounded into view from the nearest corner.

"How did you know Sirius was coming?" Remus asked, surprised.

Her jaw clenched. "Don't. Worry."

_Nice ass right? He washed it this morning, you know._

"Hey Sirius," she said loudly, "how's the ass going nowadays? Given your fan club a little sneak peek yet?"

"Maybe Evans, maybe," Sirius laughed. "Certainly more than old Prongs and Moony here. Or perhaps not. Say, what were you doing in the library?" he said with an innocent look on his face.

Merlin, if looks could _kill_.

_I have long nails, and _don't_think I won't be afraid to use them._

_Surely not in front of Moony! You don't want to give out bad impressions, do you? You might lose your precious jewel. And all of _his _jewels. Trust me, you don't want to miss out on that – they're quite impressive. Take it from someone with first-hand experience._

Lily let out a loud huff, clawing her fists in aggravation.

"Um, Lils, are you okay?" asked Remus in concern. James regarded her with amusement, cracking an irresistible grin.

But she did not _care _about irresistibleness at this moment. In fact, the utter hotness that was James Potter was distracting her from channeling her entire attention to glaring at Sirius.

"How do you live with them?" she snapped, glaring at James and Sirius simultaneously. One eye for each idiot. Oh, but it was just too hard! Lily continued, "How have you not just _killed _yourself in the past six years?"

"Hey, it wasn't me!" Potter defended.

"Oh, so you're in on it as well?" Lily challenged him with a glare.

_Geez, calm down Lilypoo. All the sexual tension from us devishly handsome blokes is getting you wound up._

"Pads, maybe you should stop now," James said quietly to his friend. "She looks like she's about to explode."

"_Thank _you Potter!" Lily exclaimed, flailing her arms about furiously. "Finally someone with some common sense!"

"Did you just compliment Prongs?" Sirius asked with a snigger.

"No," Lily said quickly. "I was just pointing out that he wasn't a duncehead like you."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "So that's a compliment then."

_"No."_

He sighed in a dramatic fashion. "Evans, any comment that indicates a person's intelligence over mine _must _be a compliment. Not that it's true of course," he added hastily.

The corners of James' mouth tugged up into a smile. "Okay guys, I know you all love to talk about me in your spare time, but we really should get to dinner now."

"Yes," said Remus, who appeared to sense a feisty Lily-Sirius showdown. "Dinner it is."

Lily and Sirius locked their gazes upon each other.

_You have some nerve._

_I'm meant to have nerve. My name is Sirius Black._

_Psh. Don't forget our meeting tonight._

Sirius only grinned and turned to walk away with James and Remus. "C'mon. Let's go."


	4. Shock, Drummy and Unexpected Surprises

**Wake Up – Chapter 4**

Despite herself, Lily could not wipe off the stupid grin plastered across her face as she sat down by the Gryffindor table next to Alice and Emmeline, cheerfully humming the tune to _My Pink Witches' Hat._ Life was always better with food in front of you.

"Hey, where were you?" Emmeline asked. "Usually you're the first one up here."

"Yeah, I got stuck with the Marauders." She jerked her head towards Sirius, Remus and James, who were busy in conversation whilst taking seats beside Emmeline. "Say, do you know where Peter is? He wasn't there before."

"Hospital Wing. Slytherin Second Year hexed him."

Lily tried to hide her amusement. "Oh, right."

"So Lils, what are you doing tonight?" Alice tore meat from a chicken drumstick, glancing up from her piled-up plate. She impatiently blew away a loose strand of blonde hair that had fallen out from her high ponytail.

Lily's brows furrowed in thought and absently scooped fried rice into the bowl in front of her. "Um, nothing really. Heads meeting, patrolling after. Why?"

"Oh no, just wondering," she replied innocently. "Who are you patrolling with?"

Lily regarded her warily. "Potter," she said slowly.

"Ah. Okay." Alice stabbed a stalk of broccoli with her fork.

Lily cocked an eyebrow. Weird. However, as Alice took another bite, she was soon distracted. Jaw dropping open and eyes bulging out, all her mind could register was food, food, and more food.

Chicken in particular.

_Wow._

The mouth-watering aroma of the hot and tender meat was slowly but surely torturing each of her individual taste buds. It looked luscious, heavenly, and was undeniably cruel.

In the past, Alice had always stolen all the chicken at dinner within the first few minutes, often forcing a very disgruntled Lily to travel down to the kitchens afterwards to satisfy this severe craving in her diet. The thought of living without chicken horrified her to no ends.

But now, she had been presented with a golden opportunity to reclaim back what was rightfully hers.

Lily did some speedy calculations. If she was quick enough, she would be able to snatch the remaining drumstick from her friend's plate and stuff it down her mouth before anything could be done about it. _I'll call you Drummy, _she decided, eyeing the drumstick ravenously. Drummy simply _sat_there, looking more tempting and irresistible than ever. He seemed to be saying to her, "I'm a sexy chicken. So just eat me already."

As Alice turned away to lock her eyes shyly on Frank Longbottom, Lily made her move. She had never been more grateful for the boy's existence in her entire life. Her arm darting out, she leant over to make a swift grab for Drummy. But before she could do anything, Alice swivelled around as fast as lightning and knocked Lily's arm away, quickly taking hold of him and running her wet tongue all over.

Lily gasped in horror. "RAPE!" she squealed.

Alice shot a triumphant glance. Lily's heart was torn to shreds as she witnessed her friend take an agonisingly delicious bite out of Drummy.

And another bite... and another bite...

"Chicken Princess," Lily grumbled, crossing her arms and sticking her nose in the air.

"You got that right. Now let's not make any more mistakes about that, shall we?" Alice replied sweetly. She turned away to Frank again, all craziness forgotten, tucking her hair behind her ear with a wide man-eating smile.

Just as Lily was planning her revenge, she flinched at Sirius and James' loud guffaws, which injured her eardrums and effectively interrupted her train of thought.

_Can you not? You're rattling the table,_she communicated irritatedly, knowing fully well that Sirius was 'tuning in' to her.

Sirius did not indicate outwardly that he had heard anything from where he sat several seats away. _Oh, I do apologise _profusely _for rattling the table. I presume you are referring to my manly chuckle, Evans?_

_Yes, if you can call it that._

_Sorry. It really does have quite a lot of sex appeal._

_True, _she replied sarcastically. _I was getting dizzy there. Careful on the delicate damsel, Black._

Sirius snorted and turned his head to acknowledge her. "Good one, Evans!" his voice dripping with sarcasm as he shouted over the loud chatter in the Hall.

Lily frowned instinctively as Potter's jovial head stuck out from behind his friend. "You _know_," she accused, narrowing her eyes at him.

Using the tip of his index finger, Potter pushed his glasses up and grinned.

_What can I do to get him to tell me? What can I do, what can I… aha!_

Sirius' voice came back, slightly wary. _What are you doing, Evans?_

Lily did not respond, but instead continued to stare at Potter, who had turned away to eat more. She tapped her foot against the ground in deep thought, nodding to herself every so often. After half a minute, a wicked smile slowly spread across her face. Her eyes danced about maniacally, leading her to closely resemble a nutty old lady.

"Oh dear," Emmeline said to Alice. "She's got that look on her again."

Alice grimaced in agreement. "Yeah, not good. Remember the last time?"

"Uh-huh. Three sickles says that someone's gonna end up in detention."

"You're on, my friend."

Lily ignored them. Shooting superior glances at the Fourth Year female Gryffindors who were burning holes through her uniform with angry glares, she stood up abruptly from her seat and, straightening her skirt, strode over in a dignified manner to Potter. "Hey Evans," Potter turned his head and greeted her lazily at her approach, stretching his arms out above his head. He winked at the Fourth Years, who immediately gasped and burst into immature giggles.

Lily rolled her eyes, turning to them and snapping, "Shut the hell up or you all get detention!" Then, slipping into a narrow gap beside James, she leant her elbows down on the table and cupped her chin in her hands, gazing at him intensely.

"Hello James," she said coyly with a sudden change of tone, tipping her head to one side and batting her lashes slowly several times.

James' smile disappeared. She chuckled inwardly as he clenched his jaw in panic and visibly gulped. It was almost… cute. His eyes darted frantically over to Sirius, who responded by patting his friend's head condescendingly.

"You have a lot to learn, mate," Sirius muttered loudly under his breath, puffing out his chest with a smirk.

"Shut up," James hissed. _"What do I do?"_

Lily faked an upset pout and tapped James shoulder impatiently. He immediately forgot about his best mate and jerked around to devote his full attention to her, all of a sudden looking extremely vulnerable.

"James!" she giggled, grabbing onto his upper arm playfully. Sirius, Remus and Peter snorted loudly whilst Alice choked loudly on her pumpkin juice. Emmeline bent down towards the table and covered her eyes, silently shaking in hysterics.

But James' eyes were still glued to Lily's. He trembled slightly at her touch and gave a tentative smile. "Um, yes Lily?" he said hopefully.

"I have this teensy little problem. Do you think you could help me?" She bit her lip.

She watched with amusement his mouth part open at this action. "Um, uh, yeah sure," he stuttered, raising his free hand to ruffle his hair nervously.

Lily uttered a cheerful "Cool!" before smiling brightly and closing in slowly on James, so that eventually their foreheads touched in light contact. She hoped Emmeline's loud gagging noises would not put him off.

The back of Lily's mind spun into a reel of shock as it registered the fact that James smelled… well, bloody amazing. Without realising, she took advantage of her current position to subtly inhale his utterly delicious and drugging scent. She was vaguely aware of Sirius' laughter in the background and knew that he probably could hear what she was thinking, but was too caught up in the moment to care. "You see," she murmured to the boy in front of her, "Sirius is meeting me at the Room of Requirement tonight to tell me all the answers to _you-know-what_" – she widened her eyes and James' breathing hitched – "and I was wondering whether you could tell me if he's planning to tell me the _truth _or not?"

"No, he isn't," James said immediately, letting out a long and shaky breath as Lily slowly but reluctantly drew her face away from him.

Sirius' mouth immediately fell open. "What in the bloody name of Merlin_,_" he muttered, before banging his head against the table.

Lily cracked a genuine smile and pulled James into a tight embrace. He responded bewilderedly, eyes still wide open in shock. Her head nestled into the crook of his neck, and without thinking, she pursed her lips quickly against the soft, bare skin, feeling somewhat pleased a shudder travelled through his body. "Thanks James," she said warmly against him. "This really means a lot to me." Then she untangled herself from his stunned body, hopped up, and skipped away out of the Great Hall.

After several seconds of stunned silence, the entire group burst into ear-splitting laughter.

"Oh, that was PRICELESS!" Emmeline gasped, grabbing onto Sirius' shoulder as she tried not to fall off her seat. She raised a shaky finger at James. "Th-th-the look on your _face!"_she spluttered. "Oh good sweet _Merlin!_" She collapsed into uncontrollable giggles.

James was still frozen to the spot, staring at the door Lily had exited out of.

* * *

Lily's echoing footsteps gradually came to a stop. "Bubble tart," she said pleasantly to the Fat Lady, and stepped through the portrait hole. Once she had reached the middle of the Common Room, she smiled secretively to herself and stopped for several moments to touch her lips lightly with her fingertips.

Suddenly, Alice and Emmeline came bounding through the portrait hole, halting in front of Lily to catch their breath. Emmeline's grin was downright infectious and stretched widely from one ear to the other.

It was like Black's cockiness. It just didn't _end._

"GOOD ONE! We didn't know you had it in you!" she cackled, running a hand through her light brown locks.

Lily laughed, walking alongside the two towards the Seventh Year dormitories. "Yeah. I wish I could've taken a picture of his face. That was priceless!"

For some odd reason, Emmeline and Alice seemed to find this especially hilarious. Alice doubled over and made a long fart-like sound with her lips. "B-b-but," she said, recovering a giggly breath, "why did you go so far?"

"What you do you mean? I was just doing it to get the information out off Potter," Lily replied, walking over to her drawers and pulling out a pair of colourful striped pyjamas.

"Yeah," Emmeline piped in, "but you didn't have to practically molest him, you know!"

Lily's bubbly mood quickly faded. "What are you talking about?" she snapped.

Alice and Emmeline exchanged knowing smirks.

"No, _seriously_!"

"Lil, don't even try to hide it. You know fully well that you could've just walked up to him and_asked_."

"No. He would've lied."

"Um, no_. _James would never lie to you," Emmeline giggled.

Lily's felt her face burn to the very roots of her hair. "No," she insisted again, rushing to her bed and pulling the curtains over vigorously, "it was necessary. Completely necessary." When she was met with mere snorts, she slipped quietly into bed and pulled the doona over her head. Screw the pyjamas. "I'm sleeping now," she called out from underneath. "Night!"

"Um Lil? You have your Heads meeting in twenty minutes," Alice's amused voice came from some distance away.

Lily froze. "Yeah!" she called out faux-cheerfully. "I'm just having a quick powernap because there's patrolling tonight!"

"Ah, right. Wouldn't want to disturb you then."

Lily exhaled loudly and blinked furiously several times. The atmosphere was dark and intimate. If she wished, she could almost imagine that anything was happening here. Smiling slightly at the thought, she squeezed her eyes shut and collapsed face-down onto the fluffy pillow, puckering her lips in the same way she had done so before in the Great Hall.


	5. Condoms In Pockets

**Wake Up - Chapter 5**

"_Fuck_, he's not here," Lily swore loudly as she opened the door to an entirely empty Room of Requirement. She checked her watch – it was 12:58. "Two minutes," she growled. "Two more minutes, and I swear to bloody Merlin..."

Still muttering, Lily allowed the door to click softly shut behind her as she went to dim the bright lights. She slumped against the wall wearily, wondering if she was ever going to know the story behind Sirius invading her mind.

Why did she have to choose such an inconvenient time? Why not eleven o'clock instead? It was only one hour after curfew, and she had been set to patrol at that time anyway. Potter wouldn't have gotten her into trouble if she ditched duties fifteen minutes early.

_But, _he might have been annoyed. And she didn't want that.

_Admit it. You just didn't want to miss any opportunity you had to spend time with James._

Lily blinked once. Um, hello? Since when was Potter promoted to 'James'?

_Since dinnertime at the Great Hall, _the voice in her head replied cheekily.

"Shut up," Lily grumbled. She fought hard to keep her eyes open, rubbing them with the bottoms of her palms. Her vision blurred and she stared off into space, drifting to a perfect world where mind-prodding and James Potter were merely figments of her imagination.

A bed popped up from beneath her. Lily screamed.

All of a sudden, Sirius' face was looming just centimetres from hers, grey eyes regarding her animatedly and mouth set into a large, energetic grin. Lily screamed again.

"What the hell, Black?" she exclaimed after he had hopped off her, ignoring his bark-like laughter. "Ew, you smell like wet dog!"

"Well, you're awake now," remarked Sirius in a pleased tone, carefully rearranging his ruffled hair. A floating mirror materialised in front of him. "Ah, that's better."

Lily gaped. "How did you..." she smacked her head. "Oh, I'm such an idiot! This is the Room of Requirement! And that's why the bed suddenly appeared!"

"Yes, Evans," Sirius drawled, rolling his eyes. He wriggled to the edge and carefully combed his hair in front of the hand-mirror. "What did you think? That I conjured it for us? Hey, good idea! Evans, feeling _sexy _tonight?" Quick as a whip, he dug into his pocket and retrieved a condom packet, dangling it in front of her face.

"NO!" Lily shouted immediately, springing off the bed as if it was made of hot coals. "WHY IS THAT _THING _IN YOUR POCKET? Oh right," she muttered, "we're in the Room of Requirement. So, the room knew that you wanted to freak the shits out of me. Great."

The bloke was mad. Utterly and completely _mad. _But thank Merlin he wasn't completely nuts. Nevertheless, she shuffled a few steps away from the womaniser in an attempt to prove a point. No one joked about her sex life. It just wasn't funny.

Not that she had one, really.

Sirius looked a little sheepish. "Uh, right. Well I'm sure it would've known that."

"What?"

"I already had it with me."

"_You already had a condom with you?"_

"Yeah, I carry it around in my pocket wherever I go," he answered offhandedly, regarding her with a weird expression. "Emergencies and all, you know."

Okay, he _was _completely nuts. She thought that she was weird... _he_ walked around every day with a condom tucked into his pocket.

At this thought, Lily burst into uncontrollable giggles and collapsed back down onto the other side of the bed. "Seriously, what kind of guy are you?" she sniggered.

"An unbelievably sexy one!" Sirius replied indignantly.

Lily stared. "Oh dear," she muttered, shaking her head after a few moments. She didn't know whether to laugh again or cry. "You're actually being serious."

Sirius opened his mouth.

"_Don't,_" she warned threateningly. Any more Sirius puns and she would mentally implode. "Or I'll…" Her voice faltered.

Sirius smirked. "Or you'll what, Evans?"

Now, that was a good question. What _would _she do?

"I'll… kick your arse," she ended pathetically.

"Oh… alright then." Sirius pursed his lips tight in an attempt to fight back his laughter, turning away to resume his daily grooming session.

He really was the gentleman, Sirius Black.

Lily rolled her eyes as he winced painfully at the discovery of a split end. Sirius quickly waved his wand and muttered an incantation, breathing out a dramatic sigh of relief after he had 'healed' the damaged strand.

"So Black," she began loudly, raising her eyebrows ever so slightly.

"So," he continued with air of indifference, placing the comb down on the bed and turning around to gaze at her coolly.

The pair engaged in a fierce battle of stares for twenty seconds. Lily's eye twitched.

"Oh just tell me how you did it already!" she snapped, gesturing wildly with her hands and flipping her red hair over her shoulder in the process.

His eyes gleamed mischievously. "So you're flirting with me now, Evans. Feisty. You really do have a thing for us Marauders, don't you?"

Lily groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose tiredly. "Please, Sirius," she pleaded. "I've got no energy for this." She raised her head and scrutinised him with a frown. "Did you make up the spell yourself? How the bloody hell do you even know Legilimency? This has something to do with You-Know-Who, doesn't it? Oh please don't tell me you've joined his forces, or I really _will _kick your arse-"

"It's this."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

"It's this," Sirius repeated, this time holding out a small crystal-like rock to her.

Lily took it wordlessly. It was sparkling white with a granite-like base, and had blunt spikes covering the upper surface. She rolled it back and forth in the palm of her hand, marvelling at how her fingers tingled slightly at its contact. "What is it?" she inquired, prodding the object with the tip of her finger.

Sirius shifted on his feet. "We made it. Um, you know, us… Marauders. We found it last holidays in this old room at Moony's place and decided to muck around with it. Er… yeah," he finished awkwardly, scratching his head.

"_Really?_" Lily's smile widened. She handled the rock with a newfound admiration. "But what kind of spells did you use? This must be far beyond Seventh Year coursework!"

Sirius shrugged. "Oh, I dunno," he said. "Some of it might be."

"So what does it do?"

"It's pretty cool, actually," he explained. "You need to know Legilimency beforehand, though. Then once you're in the person's thoughts, you just focus and hold it in your hand, and their thoughts just… speak out to you. And you can have a conversation by kind of directing what you want to say towards them. It sounds complicated, but it really isn't," he finished hastily.

"So you can do it to any object?"

"We think that this one might have had a powerful spell on it already before we found it. Moony said something about that when he was researching."

"Right," Lily said slowly. "And you would know Legilimency how?"

"That, my friend, is for me to know and for you to find out," he replied mysteriously. All awkwardness gone, Sirius gave her a smug glance. "And anyway, it shouldn't be a surprise. We _are _brilliant, after all."

Lily cocked an eyebrow at him. "Right. But how the bloody hell did you guys figure out _how_ to do that? Or is that some sort of top Marauder secret as well?" she asked with sarcasm.

Sirius snorted. "Nah. We just go to the library and figure it all out from there."

The library.

The. Library.

Did they even know that word?

"Oh, right. Okay," she said faintly, still trying to comprehend the fact that Sirius Black and James Potter went to the _library _on their own accord. "So hypothetically, let's say I walked up to James right now and told him this funky crystal-rock-Legilimency-mind-talking story," she began.

"Hypothetically," Sirius repeated with a grin.

Lily returned it with a small smile of her own. "Yes. If I hypothetically did that, you don't think that he would happen to inform me that you've been spitting bullshit out of your mouth for the past five minutes, would he?"

Sirius laughed out loudly. "No Evans, I don't think he would. And by the way, what was _that_ all about at dinner?"

Lily froze. "What?" she squeaked.

Sirius gave her a knowing smirk. "You didn't get a little carried away with Prongs'… scent?"

Lily stared at the wall to her right determinedly. _Hello wall. How has your day been?_

"Evans?"

_Just a spiffing day, isn't it? I really should come here more often. We could get even better acquainted._

"Evans, stop avoiding the question. I was there. I knew what you were thinking."

Lily jerked her head to meet his eyes in irritation. "I KNOW!" she snapped. "Don't you _dare _tell anyone, don't you bloody effing shitting-"

"So what about Moony? Do you like his smell?"

Lily clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. "I don't know," she replied calmly with obvious restraint. This was going to be a hell of a long night. "You see, Black, I haven't exactly _smelled _him before."

"So what does James smell like?" Sirius asked, becoming more entertained with each moment that passed.

Lily lowered her head and blushed.

Oh God. Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod.

"Come on!" he persisted, rolling his eyes. "I won't tell anyone. Marauder's promise."

"If I don't tell you, you're going to figure this out later with the rock, aren't you?" she asked miserably.

"You bet I will."

"Can you just stop using it?"

"No."

"It's an invasion of privacy, you know. So why don't you-"

"No."

Hmph.

"Fine then," snapped Lily, even though she looked everything but fine. "He… oh Black, you are so EVIL!" she cried, cupping her face in humiliation.

Sirius waited for her, falling back onto the bed and stretching out luxuriously with a lazy yawn.

She knew what was going to happen – she could picture the upcoming scene clearly in her head.

"_James smells like… [insert scent here]"_

_Sirius rolled to his side and burst out into a long stream of chuckles. "HA! You're bloody mad!" he cackled. "Wait till I tell Prongs this!"_

"_No, don't tell him!"_

"_And then I'll tell Moony and Wormtail, and Alice and Em! And I'll let it slip during Transfiguration… oh Minnie-finnie, that'll put a bright smile on her face…"_

Sirius' voice – his _real _voice – interrupted the nightmarish images in her head. "It's okay, Lilykins. I won't laugh," he said, sounding strangely sincere. "And I won't tell Prongs if you don't want me to. I'm just really curious, that's all."

Lily calmed down a little. He actually seemed quite genuine – maybe he really was going to be chivalrous about the whole thing. She took a deep breath.

Here goes.

"James, he smells like… mango," she admitted quietly, peeking between her fingers to witness his reaction.

Sirius rolled onto his side and burst out into a long stream of chuckles. "HA! You're bloody mad!" he cackled. "Wait till I tell Prongs this!"

Oh great. Har-di-har-har.

"Mango! HA! And then I'll tell-"

"But not like gross mango!" she persisted anxiously, fervently praying that he would not finish off the remainder of her premonition. "That's what's so nice about it! He smells like clean, _fresh _mango. But no, please PLEASE don't tell him I said that. I'll do anything… I'll be your slave! Christ Black, I won't even give you detention when I catch you snogging innocent girls in the broom closets!"

She was on the verge of kneeling to the guy's feet. Lily moaned to herself at her misfortune. _Why _had she decided to tell him again?

Sirius kicked the bed and laughed even harder, chest convulsing violently. Maybe he would die. Then no one would know that Lily Evans thought that James Potter smelled like mango.

Stupid bloody rock. It was all its fault.

Lily suddenly became sidetracked by another thought. "Hey, with the rock thing… why do you want to read my mind? I mean, surely you can reach practically anyone in the school. What's so good about me?"

Sirius' loud guffaws slowly but surely quietened down to a light chuckle. "Evans, you are so naïve sometimes. I just wanted to help old Prongsie-boy, that's all. But I see that that's obviously not necessary."

"Oh," was all Lily could mutter. "You would do that?"

He looked at her weirdly. "Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"No, it's just… it's just nice of you, I guess," she said. "But have you read anyone else's minds yet? You know, without like, communicating to them."

"Yeah, I tried it on Wormtail and Moony to see if it would work." He tipped his head in thought. "Not Prongsie, he said that there were too many explicit thoughts going around in his head that might permanently damage my state of mind."

Lily bit her lip and fought a smile.

"And I've also done it on…"

"Emmeline?" she guessed, allowing the grin to spread wide across her face.

"No," Sirius scorned. "Why would I want to read her thoughts?"

"Sirius Black, you are a terrible liar."

"That may be so, Lily Evans, but _you _are terribly in denial."

Lily shut her mouth immediately. She glared at him.

Sirius snorted. "Yep. That's what I th-"

"Thanks so much for telling me everything, Black!" Lily interrupted him quickly. "I'll just hop off to bed now. Night!" As fast as lightning, she pulled the door open and bolted out without saying another word.

Within a record time of forty-five seconds, she was tucked up snugly underneath a warm and heavy blanket, running away from the truth as usual. And she loved it.


	6. I really don't get you, Black

**Wake Up - Chapter 6**

Lily groggily made her way down the staircase, throwing herself against the heavy oak doors to gain entrance to the Great Hall. It was quiet. She could count only eight students who had turned up to breakfast at this ridiculously early hour (no surprise there), most of whom were munching away in silence.

She quickly looked to the end of the Gryffindor table, jaw tightening as two innocent pairs of doe-like eyes gazed back at her.

This could not be good.

Crossing her arms in suspicion, Lily briskly approached them and noisily slammed her palms down on the table. Several other students cast irritated glances at her for disturbing their peace. She paid no attention. "What have you done this time?" she hissed through gritted teeth.

Alice tried to mask her panic with a false grin. "Morning, Lil!" she exclaimed nervously. "Um, just give us a moment will you?" She turned to her evil counterpart. "She never was a morning person," she murmured in a soft undertone. "Maybe we shouldn't tell her just yet."

Emmeline grimaced. "No. She'll kill us if we don't do it now."

"Serves her right anyway. She's the one that got herself into this mess."

"No."

"I'm just trying to save our bloody skins!"

"No."

"_Yes."_

"_NO!"_

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Lily snapped. "I'm right here, you idiots. Now TELL ME."

"Told you she's not a morning person."

"Shut up and tell me!"

"No," Emmeline decided, grinning back at her cheekily.

"Guys?" Alice interrupted randomly. "Does this sweater make me look fat?" She scrutinised herself, poking parts of her stomach with an occasional frown.

Lily blinked once. "Excuse me?"

"I said, does this sweater make me look fat?"

"I know what you said, but _why?_" Lily was baffled. How her friend could even imagine that she was fat was beyond her. Bloody skinny stick with boobs.

"I have an appointment this afternoon."

"With…"

"Frank."

"Ah."

"In a broom closet."

_"Ah."_ She and Emmeline exchanged identical smirks.

"She's nuts," Emmeline said.

"Spot on," replied Lily. All past grudges forgotten, she grinned at the brunette and slipped into the seat opposite her, grabbing a fork and jabbing it into a plate of food. "Now, for what I actually came here for. I'm starving," she complained, moaning in bliss as she sunk her teeth into one particularly hot and delicious chocolate waffle. "Ohhhh my… mmm…oohhhh…"

"No orgasms at the dining table please, Evans. I come here to eat food, not to regurgitate it."

Guess who.

Lily clamped her mouth shut and scowled at her waffle. So much for having a peaceful breakfast – or peaceful _anything _for that matter. Looking dismally at the fruit platter in front of her, she began a small countdown in her head. _Three, two, one… wait for it…_

"Oh, how I love it when they serve _mango_ for breakfast!' Sirius exclaimed, "especially when they cut it into cubes. There's nothing better than the sweet smell of _clean _and _fresh mango_ to get you all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning!"

Lily flinched.

Oh no. He did _not._

Her eyes widened as she quickly slid down her seat, buried to her neck in pure mortification.

Pure, one hundred percent. Not even _diluted._

_Must you do this in front of everyone? _she silently screamed into her head.

_But what would be the fun in keeping quiet, Lilykins? _Sirius smirked. Well, she couldn't actually see it as she had taken up a permanent residence under this block of wood, but she could practically feel the smugness radiating out from his body.

_Are you smirking?_

_Yes I am._

Emmeline and Alice regarded Sirius with equally bemused expressions as he plonked himself down next to Lily, ruffling her hair playfully and biting into a mango cube as if it was a lolly. "Here! Try one, Evans!" he offered, using one arm to pull her up by the waist and quickly popping a cube into her mouth before she could protest.

Lily squealed and wriggled from his grip, crawling underneath the table to the other side and squeezing herself in between Emmeline and Alice. She pouted, her puffy cheeks giving her the distinct resemblance of a fish. Refusing to swallow the mango, she glared at him prissily instead, mustering as much dignity as she could find.

"Your gums look a bit swollen there," Alice remarked. "What? Did Sirius hex you or something?"

Sirius feigned innocence, shaking his head at her friend. "I don't get it. What have I done? I only let her have a taste of a bit of mango."

"Yeah, Lil," Emmeline quipped. "What's the big deal?"

Lily briefly contemplated spitting out the mango cube at Sirius, but decided against it when picturing the gross saliva that would dribble out most _very _unattractively if she did so. Plus, she wouldn't want to wreck his perfect oh-so-breathtakingly-gorgeous-that-he-must-carry-a-condom-with-him-at-all-times-lest-fangirls-attempt-to-rape-him face. It was a shame – she had spent several years perfecting a flawless arched spit catapult, to get back at Potter if he decided to come up with even more obnoxious ideas to woo her into submission.

She shot Sirius a reproachful glare before chomping her teeth down once and swallowing the mango. "As I said again…" she muttered. "How can Remus stand to live with you?"

Sirius dropped his mouth in mock shock. "Bringing Moony up again, Evans? But I thought you had ditched him for Prongs!" he said in a scandalised tone.

"What?" Alice gaped in disbelief. _"Remus? _You _like_ him, Lil?"

Lily spat out her pumpkin juice. "No!" she spluttered. "What are you talking about, Black? You moron, everyone's taking you seriously!"

Sirius' eyes twinkled. _And so they should._

"Oh. My. GOD. You have got to be kidding me," Emmeline stared at Lily in shock. "You like Remus. You actually like him."

"NO I RUDDING WELL DON'T!"

Emmeline slapped her leg in hysterics, rocking back and forth on her seat. "You like him, Lil! Our Lily is officially a fangirl now! Aww, this is so sweet!"

Lily's face reddened. "I. Don't. Like. Remus," she emphasised scathingly. A speck of spit flew out from her mouth.

Perfect arch.

"Do so."

"I do NOT!"

"You do s-"

"She doesn't," Sirius interrupted Emmeline tiredly. "Lay off, I was just taking the mickey out of her."

Emmeline snorted. "Yeah, as if. Lily, you _like _Remus-"

"_SHUT UP!" _Sirius roared.

All three girls froze in dumbfounded silence.

Shocked, Lily stared at the boy in front of her. "What?" she said, almost inaudibly. The word was more of blank sound coming out from her lips, but she knew that Sirius would be able to hear through her thoughts.

He didn't reply. Not mentally, nor physically. Instead, he proceeded calmly to stab a poached egg with his fork, albeit with more force than was necessary.

"Um… we'll just be going," Emmeline said hurriedly. She shot Lily a meaningful glance. "Lil, talk to you later?"

"Oh, yeah sure. You guys go," Lily mumbled, fiddling with her fingers.

Needing no more encouragement, Emmeline and Alice simultaneously jumped out from their seats and exited the Hall, whispering fervently to each other the entire time.

Now she was alone with Sirius.

Hooray.

He fixed his gaze straight past her, his face as smooth and unreadable as stone.

Lily gave a small sigh. "I don't get you, Black," she commented quietly, staring at her empty plate. "I really don't get you."

The tension was killing her, but Lily could find nothing to say. So she simply sat there, finishing off the remainder of her breakfast in silence.


	7. Amortienta

**Wake Up - Chapter 7**

Following an extremely silent and awkward breakfast with Sirius, Lily had decided that she was not ready to be drilled with questions by Alice and Emmeline. So instead of retreating back to the dormitories like a normal student usually would, she took to hiding stupidly inside a toilet cubicle until class.

After standing nervously in the same spot for twenty minutes, she hoped that no one would think she had bowel issues.

"Accio Potions textbook," she muttered with a jerk of her wand. _Advanced Potion-Making _came floating towards her as she pulled open the door to exit the toilets, which she tucked snugly beneath her arm.

She entered the dungeons a little out of breath, even though there was still five minutes until class.

"Miss Evans!" Professor Slughorn exclaimed joyously from his desk. "Good to see you here nice and early! Nothing that I wouldn't expect from my favourite student." He winked.

Lily smiled warmly and took a seat at the front-left table. "Good morning, Professor. What are we doing today?" she said in a polite tone.

"Examining Amortentia. Love potions, I'm sure you are aware?"

"Yes, I am. So will we be brewing it?"

Slughorn strode over to her with a large, affectionate smile. "Not yet," he said. "Just for this class, you'll be learning about how its scent differs for each individual. I'll also bring around a vial of the potion for everybody to smell first-hand... although I'm sure _you_ would know all of this already, being the bright girl you are!"

Lily blushed and looked away, embarrassed, until Slughorn left her to greet other students (though not as enthusiastically as when he had seen Lily before) who were arriving to class. Being the class pet was nice at times, but it could also get quite uncomfortable when teachers interacted with her as if she was an old friend.

That was only Slughorn, actually.

He just didn't seem to understand that there was a forty-year age gap between them; thus, his good-humoured and unabashed remarks often led her to smile and laugh uncomfortably until someone else saved her. Usually it was James, scooting his chair over and asking her out so loudly that the entire class could hear. It became a weekly ritual: Lily in awkward conversation with Slughorn, awkward conversation interrupted by James, James asking her out, Lily snapping her rejection, James altogether undeterred.

Back then, she would have preferred to have been awkwardly smiling at Slughorn for the remainder of the lesson. But now…

Lily averted her gaze to the doorway where students filed into the dim and sour-smelling dungeon, chairs screeching noisily as they skid across the floor.

The Gryffindors were paired with the Slytherins for this N.E.W.T.-level class. She sighed as she spotted Severus Snape's hunched form shuffle in quietly. He was making a determined effort to detach himself from Avery and Mulciber, knowing well that Lily would be closely observing him.

She had forgiven him. But they couldn't possibly be friends with the kind of company Severus was keeping. It was better to simply pretend that he was another ordinary student in her year level.

Better, but not _easier. _Lily sighed.

"Hey Lily! Mind if I sit with you?" James tapped her shoulder and smiled eagerly, eyes shining like bright Christmas orbs.

Lily shifted her gaze to stare at him.

"Your eyes have more green in them today," she blurted out before she could stop herself.

James' eyes shined even brighter, if that was possible. "My eyes have what?" he asked amusedly.

Oh, _crap. _Crap, crap, crappity-crap-crap.

"Nothing," Lily mumbled, her face immediately turning a deep shade of red.

"No, really Lil, I didn't hear you," James said earnestly, and she found herself once again becoming lost in those eyes. Yes, they were definitely greener than on most days. _Much _greener.

"Lil?"

"Huh?" After snapping out of her trance, Lily looked down at her lap embarrassedly. "Oh, um, right. I said um... your eyes... they uhh... they have more green in them," she rambled, trying to rush over the last part as quick as possible.

Oh, Merlin. Cue the embarrassment. Would Slughorn hurry up and start the damned class already? _Now _would be a good time, perhaps?

James smirked. "Good. Just wanted to make sure I heard you right the first time."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Git," she spat, and finished the insult with a swift whack on his arm.

"Ow!" James rubbed the spot tenderly. "You hit like a bloody man, Evans! What was that for?"

Lily smirked at his re-adoption of 'Evans'. "For making me repeat that embarrassing sentence when you already knew what I said, _Potter,_" she grumbled, distinctly spitting out his name as if it was something vile.

"But why is it so embarrassing?"

"Because-" she paused and narrowed her eyes. "Don't think that I'm falling into your little trap again."

He sniggered, keeping the stupid grin plastered on his face. "Lily," he said incredibly slowly, as if he was talking to a five-year-old.

_Lily, _he had called her. "Damn you!" she muttered, shaking her fist fiercely to the evil Gods-up-there.

James eyed her warily (she didn't really blame him for that) before continuing. "Yes, Lily. You just said that both our eyes are green."

"No. Yours are only greener than usual," she insisted.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. But you see? It's a sign," he explained. "Our eyes are the same colour, which means that we're obviously destined to be together."

Lily stared at him. "You've got to be kidding me," she said flatly after several seconds.

James regarded her in a confused manner.

She snorted and continued. "So you're saying that Alice belongs with Remus, and Emmeline belongs with Amos Diggory, and Sirius belongs with… oh good lord, _Lucius Malfoy… _and, and-"

"—you belong with me," James finished softly.

The only thing that disturbed the upheld silence and tension that ensued for the next thirty seconds between the two was the quiet conversation of other students in the room (which neither Lily nor James paid the slightest attention to), and the uneven sound of Lily's panicked breaths (which both Lily and James paid their utmost attention to). She found herself gasping intermittently for air as her heart trammelled against her chest at the sound of James' soft, velvety voice that seemed so genuine and sincere. She almost felt as if it had snuck up and given her a big, heart-warming squeeze.

No, no. This could not be happening.

Lily gulped as James' soft and defined jaw tipped slightly and slowly moved in closer to her face. She was frozen to the spot, taking in his every detail – the freckle below his right eye, the natural colour of his reddish-brown lips, the tiny dimples indented on his cheeks…

How had she not _seen _this before?

"OKAY CLASS! LET'S BEGIN!" yelled Slughorn with a thundering clap of his hands. Lily and James instantly jerked apart as if a lightning bolt had struck between them.

Lily exhaled loudly, partially annoyed, partially still shaken from what had just occurred.

Why did he have to start the class _now?_

James closed his eyes, tipped his head back and swore. He could be quite adorable like that.

"Five points from Gryffindor, Mr Potter, and don't let me hear that kind of foul language from the Head Boy again. Watch over him, will you, Miss Evans?" Slughorn said.

Lily nodded stiffly and tried to force a smile. It probably looked more like a grimace.

The rest of the class passed rather uneventfully, with Slughorn lecturing on about the properties of Amortentia for the majority of the lesson. The only strange thing was that James was sitting next to her instead of Emmeline, who was instead situated beside Sirius. Sirius, still giving everybody the silent treatment, sat stiffly in his chair and stared broodingly at a blank space on the wall. He did not bother to take any notes.

"…and now I will bring around a vial to demonstrate what I mean," Slughorn said whilst making his way over to Lily and James' table. He held the vial up in front of them. Lily took a tentative sniff after James, and groaned inwardly almost immediately after the scent had hit her nostrils.

Of course the mango would come back to haunt her.

Lily tuned out the immature giggles and gasps as Slughorn proceeded around the dungeon, sinking back into her chair with a grimace. A hint of the scent lingered in the air.

That Amortentia was torture. She wanted her mango back again. It was even more agonising to realise that she could simply lean over a few inches and smell her personal Amortentia the flesh.

"What did it smell like for you?" James asked curiously.

Lily snorted. "What did it smell like for _you_?" she countered.

"Strawberries," he replied, without missing a beat.

"Strawberries?"

"The scent of your shampoo."

"Oh." She bit her lip.

"So what did you smell?"

"Uhh… mango."

"Why mango?"

Lily closed her eyes. "Dunno."


	8. And He's Back

**Wake Up - Chapter 8**

It was lunchtime. Lily, upon smelling the unmistakable scent of lasagne, had screwed her nose in aversion and decided to head back straight to the dormitories. She wasn't hungry, anyway. Lasagne was definitely not her type of Amortienta.

Her mind reverted back to the incident with Sirius at breakfast that morning.

Did Sirius do that? Did he _actually do that?_

She tried to sort out her thoughts in vain as she stepped into the dormitory – head down, hands in pockets – knowing that Alice and Emmeline would undoubtedly be there to bombard her with difficult questions. They weren't big fans of pasta-wrapped mince mixed with gooey tomato, either.

And right she was. There they were, snuggled on her bed, flipping through last week's issue of Witch Weekly. The moment they heard her footsteps, it started.

"LILY! FINALLY!"

"Took your sweet time!"

"What were you doing?"

"Did you speak to Sirius?"

"What WAS that about anyway?"

"He was so angry all of a sudden."

"He doesn't like you, does he?"

"WAIT! You guys can't possibly be… _with…_each other?"

"NO!" Lily finally heard a question she knew the answer to. What a ridiculous question. Sirius and her, _together. _Psh.

"But Lil, why else would he shout at us?" Alice asked timidly, shutting the magazine and putting it back on Lily's bedside table.

Lily sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed, facing away from her friends. "I don't know," she said shakily. Her eyes brimmed with tears. She wiped them away angrily. _Why was she crying?_

"Sorry. It's just that, well, everyone's noticed that you two have… gotten closer lately," Emmeline said softly. "I guess we all jumped to conclusions. Sirius would never betray James like that anyway."

"Yeah," Lily replied hollowly.

Alice crawled up to her and gave her a hug, squeezing her waist reassuringly. "And come on, who could imagine Sirius falling for anyone?" she joked.

"Yeah."

"I really don't know why we even thought you guys had something going on."

"Yeah."

"Stupid, really."

"Yeah."

"I mean, you're _obviously _head over heels in love with Remus."

"Yeah."

"Wait, WHAT?" Emmeline asked excitedly from behind. "What did you just say? Lil?"

Lily jerked her head up. "Sorry, what?"

Alice smirked. "Were you even listening?"

"No," Lily admitted. She had zoned out, mulling over the possibility that Sirius' outburst had something to do with protecting his best mate. Because if word got around that she liked Remus she could only fathom a guess at how James would react. Devastated? Angry? Hurt? She didn't want him to feel any of these emotions. It wasn't fair on him.

Besides, she didn't even like Remus anymore… not romantically_,_anyway. He was a great friend and all, but feeling confused emotions over three Marauders was just too much for her mind to cope with.

_Plus, _she thought with a smile, _if I dated Remus, we'd get too distracted as study partners. And that would be a damn shame. No, it would be best to date Potter and have Remus keeping my studying in check instead._

"Lil? What are you thinking about?"

Lily blushed and lifted her head to look at Alice and Emmeline.

Could she tell them?

Yes.

No.

Yes. Okay, yes. _Yes. _She would, she would.

Lily took a deep breath. If she was going to do this, she would do it properly. "I'm thinking about… going out with James," she said slowly.

She waited for the dramatic reactions: the intakes of breath, the gasps of shock, the incredulous "WHAT?"s that would ring across the room.

But they didn't come. Instead – silence.

After a while, Emmeline finally smirked and extended an open palm towards Alice, wriggling her fingers. "Come on," she told her with a smug grin. "Pay up."

Alice groaned. "Lil! Couldn't you wait just ONE MORE WEEK? And you had to call him JAMES too! That's three more sickles! Now I can't buy those heels I wanted next Hogsmeade trip!"

Lily snorted. Trust her friends to place bets on her. "Serves you right," she shot back. "And anyway, what makes you think that I _like _James? I could've been thinking about how revolting dating him would be."

Alice cocked an eyebrow. "Were you?" she asked dubiously.

"Well… no," Lily replied sheepishly. "He was very sweet in Potions today. And he smells good. Like _really_good. And his eyes matched mine, so I guess it's just natural for us to be together… but that's beside the point!" she finished exasperatedly, sporting a red tinge on her cheeks.

"My dear, that is exactly the point!" Emmeline clapped her hands together like a little girl. "This is just fab!" She imitated Lily in a high squeaky voice. _"He smells good! Like _really _good. And his eyes match mine… ohhh how romantic…"_

"That was his idea, not mine!"

"_So it's just natural for us to be together…_HA! ROMANTIC! Wait till Jamesy-boy hears about this! And then I'll tell-"

"NO!" Lily shrieked, jolting the bed so hard that she nearly sent her friends onto the floor. "NO! NO! NOT AGAIN! DON'T TELL HIM! DON'T YOU DARE_, _EMMELINE VANCE!"

There was an awkward silence.

"Sirius," Lily muttered. "Don't ask."

Emmeline fought back a smirk. "So why _have _you and Sirius been spending more time together?" she questioned.

"Uhh… long story. Don't ask."

Confused grunts. Then, "Are you sure you guys aren't secretly seeing each other after hours?"

Lily found this question oddly amusing. Technically, they _had_ been. But she covered up for herself as well as she could and put on a very believable display of anger. It wasn't hard; she did it almost every day. "YES!" she growled at her friends. "Did I not just announce my bloody feelings towards Potter?"

Emmeline and Alice burst into laughter.

"Guys, it's not funny-"

And all of a sudden, Alice stopped grinning. She froze, eyes widening. "Sorry Lil, gotta go bye!" she said frantically before running out of the room, dragging Emmeline along by the arm with her.

"Wait guys, what?" Lily shouted, craning her neck to see why they had ditched her so suddenly. "Guys? GUYS COME BACK!"

"Afternoon, Evans. Didn't know you were so desperate to have guys in your bedroom. Allow me, then?"

Lily froze as she took in the tall figure leaning against the doorway.

Cuffs rolled up to the elbows. Untucked white shirt with a hanging Gryffindor tie that only three boys in the school could pull off well.

_So it's one of them…_

Straight black pants with the corner of a silver packet that looked suspiciously condom-like protruding out from the pocket.

_Oh dear. Maybe it's not him. Maybe it's just a common Marauder practice…_

Long fingers delicately handling a white crystallised rock.

_Oh, shit._

Sirius Black was back.


	9. Croydon

**Wake Up – Chapter 9**

Lily could not stop staring.

Sirius seemed… normal_. _Apart from the fact that he had managed to sneak up to the girls' dormitories. How the hell did he do that?

Well, he _was_ a Marauder.

Sirius smirked, still leaning casually against the door frame. "Well, Evans… do you want to let me in? Cos there's a whole bunch of Third Year girls out in the Common Room, and rejection really wouldn't look too good on my record."

Lily's eyes bulged.

"Or," he continued, "Would me being in your bedroom be too weird for you? Don't worry, we've already done it heaps before; missions for Prongs. Sometimes it's your perfume, sometimes it's a t-shirt. He even suggested your underwear once, but so far we've managed to steer him away from that general direction. Hmm. I don't think he'd be too happy if he heard I told you that."

Lily stared at him. "Oh God," she muttered. "You'd better come in."

Sirius instantly brightened up. "That's my girl!" he exclaimed, and proceeded to plonk himself rather unceremoniously on her baby pink and white doona.

"No shoes on the bed!" Lily warned.

"Wouldn't even think about it. Gosh Evans, you really _are_a girl, aren't you? Wrapping yourself in pink every night... tut tut. We might have to change that before you and Prongs have some sexy time together."

Oh.

Good. Sweet. Merlin.

Lily's cheeks burned. She was on _fire._

She shifted away from the boy to the head of her bed; he was Dangerous Material. _And_ he had a condom in his pocket, after all. It was always good to take precautions.

Why did they _always _seem to find a way to be on the same bed together?

Her movement made an odd creaking sound, but Sirius did not seem to notice – or if he did, he pretended not to. Instead, he ignored her and busied himself with… combing his hair.

Again. Just like last night at the Room of Requirement.

Lily began to feel increasingly uncomfortable by the silence that had taken over. She fiddled with a piece of lint on her doona, eyebrows furrowing in embarrassment. Ugh, he made her feel so _awkward. _And combing his hair in front of her was completely unnecessary. It just added to the unnerving atmosphere.

What was Sirius doing on her bed with a condom in his pocket anyway? Crap. Emmeline and Alice _did _say that he might like her.

Oh shit. Crap. Fuck.

"No, Evans," Sirius interrupted. He lounged back on her bed, stretching his arms unabashedly. "I'm not going to try to rape you, so you can stop tearing your mind apart now."

Yeah, he could read her mind. She had forgotten about that.

Lily's eyes narrowed. _His shoes were on her doona._

"Although," he counteracted amusedly, "I'm always open, you know. You should be honoured that a guy like me would place you on his waiting list."

"Why are you being so normal?" Lily demanded loudly, regarding him through the corner of her eye in suspicion.

"Gee, thanks Evans," he replied sarcastically. He tucked the comb away into his pocket. His _other _pocket.

"No, seriously Black," she insisted. Her eyes widened and she said quickly, "Not seriously!"

Sirius chuckled lightly. "You're learning, you're learning."

"Answer my goddamned question!" snapped Lily.

"There's nothing to it," Sirius replied coolly. "I'm just not a morning person."

"Sure. I really believe that."

"You're not going to get anything else out of me, Lilypoo, so if I were you I wouldn't waste too much time over it."

Screw him.

No, wait.

Lily pouted and let out a huff. "You're so insufferable," she sniffed. "Now I'm going to think that you have some deep and dark secret hidden away in the depths of your soul."

Sirius averted his eyes.

"Black?"

"Yeah?"

His voice was small. Sirius Black's voice was _small._

Comprehension dawned over her, and Lily gasped. "You have got to be kidding me!"

Silence.

"Black, I was joking!"

Sirius closed his eyes tiredly. "Yeah, well uhh… haha, then," was his pathetic attempt at a clever comeback.

Oh Merlin. If whatever he was hiding caused Sirius Black to stop making witty remarks, then it must be extremely serious_._

"Black?" Lily began quietly, eyeing him with a newfound solemnity.

"Hmm?" Sirius replied. He tapped his foot against the edge of the bed to a silent tune in his head.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You can talk to me."

"I _am _talking to you."

"Oh Jesus, Black, you know what I mean!"

"Oh, I dunno," Sirius said loudly." Moony's girlfriend died, maybe, and I didn't want word of your fancying him to get around and make him even more devastated than he already is?"

Lily was unsure of what to say. Finally, she replied slowly, "Don't joke about things like that, Black. It's not funny in the slightest."

"You think I'm joking?" Sirius eyes flared with anger. He let out a bitter, humourless laugh. "You honestly think I would joke about something like that?"

Lily's lips parted as she collapsed back against the wall in shock.

Fuck.

"Oh God," she whispered almost inaudibly. "That's horrible. But why did you bring Remus up in the first place then?"

"Lapse of memory." Sirius' eyes took in her countenance, devoid of emotion. He did not move.

"Oh. When?" asked Lily softly.

"Last night."

"_That recent?"_

"Yeah. His parents owled him straight away."

"She was a muggle, yeah? Tahlia-something?"

"Tatiana. Death Eaters attacked the whole area. Her entire family was wiped out as well, not just her."

"Oh my God, I have to go to him. He must be distraught! I have to-"

"Lily," Sirius interjected heavily. Do you even know what suburb Tatiana lived in?"

That was the first time he had called her Lily.

"No," she replied, mildly annoyed at his perceived need to stress this minor detail. "What was it?"

Almost tentatively, Sirius chewed on the inside of his cheek before muttering, "Croydon."

Lily froze.

_Croydon._

"Oh my God," she whispered again, but this time for an entirely different reason. "No. No. No."

"_Death Eaters attacked the whole area."_

The whole area of Croydon.

Where her family lived.

* * *

"Evans! Hang on, wait up!"

As she raced up the hallway towards Dumbledore's office, Lily's mind could not stop spinning into a frenzied state. All she could think of was _Mum, Dad, Tuney… could be dead… because of me…_

"Evans! Stop for a second, we have class!"

"Since when do you care if we have class or not?" she shouted over her shoulder.

"EVANS!"

Lily ignored Sirius. Her head was pounding hard, too hard. She felt dizzy, but gritted her teeth and tried to ignore it. Her movements were somewhere in between a light power-walk and a jog.

It didn't feel right. Nothing felt right.

_Mum, Dad, Tuney…_

"Eva-"

She stumbled as she collided face-first into a rock solid body. It was warm, and smelt good. But what in the name of Merlin was it doing in her way? She needed to ask Dumbledore about her family!

And why was it enveloping its arms over hers? And pulling her into a hug?

_And why was it Potter?_

"Potter, this is really not the time," she spat, pushing his chest violently away from her with two palms. He simply embraced her again, cupping the back of her head so that her face nestled into the crook of his neck.

"Evans, I-"

"No, Potter," she murmured, but she could see that it was a lost cause. Her resolve was weakening at a frighteningly fast rate. She could feel her eyelids fluttering down, until they softly came to a close.

_Mum, Dad, Tuney…_

"NO!" she shouted immediately, jerking her eyes open. A tear dribbled miserably down her cheek. "No," she whimpered again. "I have to find out about Mum, Dad…"

"They're all okay, Evans. I just went to Dumbledore to ask him about it. No injuries. Nothing."

Lily's breath hitched.

_They're all okay…_

_They're all okay…_

"What did you just say?" She gazed with wide eyes in front of her; her vision was a mixture of the blurred outline of his dark brown hair and the plain mahogany texture of the corridor walls. Her hands instinctively gripped onto the front of James' shirt.

Her grasp was so tight that a button popped open.

Whoops.

James did not react to this. "You heard me," he replied to her earlier question. He used his free hand to rub the space in between her shoulder blades in small circles. "They're all okay."

"But they're Muggle born!" Lily spluttered. "How could they not be hurt?"

"Don't know. But who cares… they're alive, aren't they?" he said softly. He pulled her in for another tight hug. Lily reciprocated, squeezing her eyes shut as she did.

Then something in her mind ticked.

She was having a heart-to-heart with Potter?

And suddenly, she was frightened.

Lily pulled away from his arms, taking a few shaky steps back as she did so. "Um, sorry," she muttered in an indistinct tone. "I have to… go. Thanks for telling me everything."

James furrowed his eyebrows.

"No, really. Thanks. It means a lot to me."

Then she turned around, and fled. Left, right, straight ahead. Anywhere but there.


	10. Completely Unexpected

**Wake Up - Chapter 10**

The Room of Requirement was as large as the size of a Quidditch pitch and full of places to hide. It served its purpose well. Lily lay outstretched across a soft and plush red couch, mindlessly flipping through her Arithmancy notes. She crossed her feet at the ankles, her red hair hanging lifelessly over the armrest.

Thank _God_ they were alive.

What would she do without Mum's loving kisses, Dad's lame jokes, and even the daily glares that Tuney shot at her every morning when she was back in England for the holidays? Lily hadn't realised how much her family meant to her until she thought she had lost them. Again, she breathed out a sigh of relief.

Safe. Safe. They were safe.

Lily grimaced as she realised that her parents probably frequently worried about her like this. Because to them, magic was a completely foreign concept and full of "potentially dangerous circumstances", as they put it. But they were proud and supporting of her anyway. Lily could never be more grateful for that.

_I'll write a letter to them, _she decided. A roll of parchment and a quill materialised out of thin air as the idea came to mind. She placed her Arithmancy notes down on the white marble floor below her and sat up slightly, beginning to write:

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_How are you? Sorry for not writing soon enough, we've been really busy with school work… N.E.W.T.s and all, you know. I've just heard about the Death Eater attack (they're the ones with masks) at Croydon. I almost got a heart attack when I heard about it! I'm so glad to hear that you're safe._

_Pass this on to Petunia, will you? (Even though she'll probably rather use it as toilet paper than actually read it.)_

_Anyway, what have you all been up to? I'm missing you all so much!_

_Love, Lily_

With a satisfied smile, Lily sealed the parchment in an envelope and walked across the room to exit the room. She was going to go to the Owlery and find Grumbles to post her letter. That was her owl – Grumbles. She had thought that it was a legendary, 'cool' name in First Year when she had gotten him for her birthday.

Psh. Eleven-year-olds.

As she treaded purposely up the circular staircase, her mind persisted in reminding her that Potter had cared enough to go through the effort of heading straight to Dumbledore after hearing about the Croydon attack. He told her the news of her parents' safety himself, so that she did not have to endure several moments longer of suffering.

And then she had made his shoulder wet, broken a button on his shirt, and run off without a word of explanation. Crap.

But _still,_ Potter cared about her? How was she supposed to know that? Sure, he had professed his undying love in the past during class and in front of all her friends, but she had never known that he was actually being serious. "Ugh," she muttered, screwing up her nose.

_Potter _cared about her.

Potter _cared _about her.

"Potter cares about me," Lily repeated in an undertone.

The sentence seemed strange on her lips. She ran a hand through her hair in frustration. Great – now she was even picking up his habits.

By this time she had located Grumbles amongst all the other tawny-coloured school owls. She approached him quietly, attaching the envelope around his leg.

"Take this to Mum and Dad, will you?" she said, gently stroking his ruffled feathers. He fixed his bright yellow gaze upon her, making an impatient clicking sound with his beak.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah, here it is." She dug into her pocket and retrieved an owl treat, allowing Grumbles to feed off her palm.

After thirty seconds, he was still chewing on the same small section of the treat.

"Come on!" Lily urged, quickly shoving the rest of the treat into his open beak. "This is important. Please!"

Grumbles made a noise that sounded distinctly like a haughty sniff and turned away from her to take off from the balcony.

Lily cupped her hand around her mouth and bellowed out to him, "Thanks Grumbles! You know I love you!"

Grumbles flew higher up into the air, travelling in crazy zigzag patterns.

"Who's Grumbles? Your grandpa?" an amused voice said from the staircase.

Lily whipped her head to the right. As her mind registered the face in front of her, she immediately tensed up, giving an oh-shit-it-sucks-to-be-me expression.

Because, really. At that moment, it truly did suck to be her.

"H-h-hello Potter!" she stuttered. She grinned widely, somewhat resembling an orange Cheshire cat. "Um, um… give me a sec, will you?"

He smiled at her – a _real _smile, not one of those ego-inflated arrogant smiles that he gave off to his classmates at school.

Lily felt herself melt to the ground, figuratively. "Yeah!" she continued. "One second. Just one second?"

"Yes, Lily," James replied, still smiling. "You can have one second."

"Okay then! I'll just… yeah!"

She stood there, still grinning at him.

This was possibly the worst time for her body to disobey her orders.

After several seconds lapsed by in silence, James asked, "Um, Lily? As much as I don't mind, why are you staring at me?"

Lily immediately swivelled one-eighty degrees on her foot before he could say 'Hippogriff'.

Okay. So he couldn't see her now. Awesome. Well, she couldn't see him anyway. Damn. He looked so hot, and that button she had unbuttoned was still unbuttoned. Why hadn't he buttoned it? Did he want her to re-button his unbuttoned button?

"Calm down," she muttered to herself. She closed her eyes. "It's only Potter. Only Potter. He's stupid, remember? I don't like him at all. He's a show-off and an arrogant toerag and the only thing I want to do with his face is to sn—PUNCH it. Yes, Potter is daft and dim…"

"…and also happens to be tied with Lily Evans at the top of every class they have together," James finished. "He has, in fact, stopped being a show-off and an arrogant toerag ever since Fifth Year when she broke his heart and ruined his summer holidays. Lily Evans knows this, really. All she wants to do with his face is to snog it-"

"—WHEN PIGS FLY!" Lily stomped past him, brushing his shoulder, and made her way noisily down the stairs. She tried not to feel too guilty about the fact that she was the reason behind his summer holidays being a misery.

"No Lily, wait!" James rushed to meet her a few steps above the bottom. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back.

Lily struggled against his grip, hair thrashing about side to the side. "Get OFF me, Potter!" she screamed. "You're holding me against my will! That's SEXUAL ASSAULT if you didn't know!"

The truth was... she kind of liked being restrained by James.

"Oh, will you hear yourself speak?" James laughed and pulled her into a hug. Lily seethed, her body becoming as stiff as a lifeless body. She kept her arms glued to her sides.

Unexpectedly, James buried his face into her hair. She jumped so violently that both of them were sent off balance.

Thus, it just so happened that Lily Evans and James Potter tumbled down the remainder of the stairs with a mixture of exclamations and shrieks, landing together in a tangled heap at the bottom.

Lily found herself on top of him.

Her jaw dropped in shock.

She found herself transfixed by his eyes. By his whole face. and by the fact that her body was currently pressed up against him, her lips being but a few inches away from his.

Oh Sweet Hippogriffs.

Even _Grumbles_ wouldn't be complaining in her position.

Lily's voice was caught at the back of her throat. Over the course of fifteen long, still seconds, she took in every delicious minor detail of the boy.

His lips. They were so enticing and soft that she wanted to cry.

Her breathing was slow and uncontrollable, and her heartbeat began to fasten at a terrifying rate. Lily happily admitted to herself then and there that yes, she _did_wish that she could snog his face right off.

She used one hand to push his raven-black hair back and gulped. Her arm trembled as James simply lay there, gazing at her with those bright hazel eyes…

Those specks of gold, those specks of _gold. _They shone through like an angel...

James gripped her wrist gently and pulled it away from his face. "I really hate to break this moment," he murmured, "but I have something important I need to tell you."

She shivered involuntarily as his hot breath tickled her ear. "It can wait," she said automatically, voice coming out raspier than expected. She blinked a few times, feeling very light-headed.

His shirt, it was so smooth…

Lily inhaled his scent deeply and almost died on the spot.

James looked incredibly forlorn. "No, really Lil. I need to tell you something."

"Okay," she whispered back dreamily.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yes," she replied. She closed her eyes with a small sigh, making herself more comfortable on her post on top of James.

Boy, had she been missing out.

A flicker of annoyance passed through James' face as he sat up abruptly, catching her as she rolled off to the side with a squeal.

"What are you doing, Potter?" she whined loudly, pouting as he relinquished his arm from her waist.

James shut his eyes, running one hand through his hair in exasperation. "Geez Lil, you're making this harder than it already is. Will you just listen, please?"

Lily narrowed her eyes. "This had better be worth it," she grumbled.

"Are you listening?"

"Yes."

"Okay uhh… I… oh Lil, I'm so sorry!"

"For what?" Lily furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"No just… _listen to me, okay?"_

"Fine, fine. No need to get so touchy." Her lips tugged upwards in gratitude. "By the way," she continued, "I really wanted to thank you for before. You know, when you told me about my family. I don't know how I would've survived if you weren't there. I just _really_want to say thanks, even though it's kind of embarrassing for me and all, but uhh…" she trailed off with a blush.

James' grip noticeably tightened on his opposite forearm. "That," he said softly, "was exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh really?" Lily brightened up. He was such a decent guy. Why didn't she see it before?

As her thoughts went on a tangent, she noticed neither his slouched figure nor his face contorting in pain as he looked up to meet her gaze.

"Yes. About your family…" he answered in an almost deathly whisper. "I lied to you."


	11. But it can't be

**Wake Up: Chapter 11**

Lily's smile froze.

He… wait, what?

"What did you say?"

James grimaced. "Um. I, well…"

"_What did you say?"_

"I – I was lying." James paused. Lily saw that he was trembling. For a short fleeting moment, Lily could see the desperation in his eyes, grasping onto the pieces of the scene in front of him to create something of a memory to hold onto forever.

She would never be the same after he uttered those four crucial words.

"Your… your parents are dead."

_Your parents are dead, _he had said. _Parents. Dead._

No.

Her body shook violently.

"Lily-"

"How could you do this?" Lily whispered.

"I'm-"

Dead. Dead.

Dead.

Lily pinched the back of her neck very, very hard. She felt nothing.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" she shrieked, neither caring nor noticing whether other students could hear her. She doubled over and crumpled head-first to the floor, chest convulsing violently, tears streaming down.

The life dissipated from James' face. "Lily," he muttered in a pained tone, burying his head in his hands. "Please just listen to me."

"_Don't call me Lily."_

James flinched. He looked up at her slowly. She stared back at him, not with the usual shyness, embarrassment, or even childish dislike.

It was with hatred. Intense, burning hatred.

James' countenance expressed everything – pain, regret, sorrow. However, it wasn't enough. Nothing could be enough after this.

Lily's voice cut through thick silence that had ensued. A sharp knife to the heart. _"How could you do this to me?" _She choked at the end of the sentence, becoming overwhelmed by loud, uncontrollable sobs.

And she cried and screamed and screamed, until the world around her went black.


	12. Falling

**Wake Up - Chapter 12**

The next few days passed by in a blur: wake up, class, eat, class, study, eat, sleep.

During Heads meetings, Potter would address the Prefects himself, and she would stand beside him – distant, lifeless.

"Has she got a problem?" Mulciber, a Slytherin Prefect, demanded once of her. It was fifteen minutes into the meeting, and Lily still had not uttered a single word.

"None at all," Potter replied smoothly. "Now as I was saying, with this sheet we need you all to sign up your names so that -"

"She's looks _dead, _the mudblood! What the fuck's wrong with her?"

"_Don't _call her that," said Potter sharply, fists clenching around the edge of the table.

"What's wrong, Potter? Disappointed that you're not getting some?"

A flicker of something inexplicable passed through James eyes as his mouth hardened into a straight line. He stared at Mulciber unblinkingly and said, "Ten points off Slytherin for showing disrespect to fellow classmates."

Potter had never taken points off anyone in the past. Not Slytherins, no one.

"You're-"

"That will be enough."

Lily continued to gaze off into the distance. Thinking about Mum, Dad.

* * *

They passed their patrols together in silence. Lily often surged ahead several metres to detach herself from the Head Boy. He did not try to catch up with her.

"Evans?" he called out to her last night. It was the first time he had talked to her since _that _incident_._

Lily halted in her footsteps.

"You're heading in the wrong direction."

"Oh, okay," she replied coolly. She spun back on one foot and retraced her footsteps, turning into the corridor at the nearest left with her black cloak willowing softly behind her.

It had hurt, him calling her Evans.

* * *

Four days after, Lily was packing up her Charms books after the lesson when she experienced something that she had almost forgotten – a tugging at her mind.

_Evans. Meet me outside._

Lily froze for several seconds, before resuming her packing with a sigh. Her eyes scanned the room briefly, but it was just as she had expected – Black wasn't there. Potter's hunched figure passed her vision, and she averted her eyes with a quick intake of breath.

_Evans? Outside?_

_Yeah, okay._

"Hey Lily?" Alice's soft voice came from her left.

"Mm?"

"Do you want to have lunch with us?"

"Nah, you guys go ahead. I'm staying back for a bit."

Alice bit her lip, smiling sadly. "Okay. See you then."

"Bye."

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Lily trudged out the classroom, finding herself in front of Sirius. He leant against the wall, absently tapping a forefinger against his knee. Black hair framed his handsome defined face, and a flurry of emotions concealed themselves beneath long lashes. His eyes sharpened as Lily walked towards him.

He looked so... different without James, Remus and Peter with him. More lonely.

"Hi," Lily mumbled.

Sirius stared at her. His voice came out hard, with a hint of bitterness. "What do you think you've been doing?"

* * *

Sirius' jaw hardened. "Look, I was never into the whole lovey-dovey compassionate thing, so this might come out harsh, I dunno." He grimaced slightly. "But this has gone on for too long. You can't mope around forever. They wouldn't have liked that, anyway."

Lily regarded him drearily. "Who wouldn't have liked that?" she asked in a monotone.

"You know who I'm talking about."

"Oh, really now?"

"Yeah." Sirius paused. "You need to fucking get over yourself, Evans."

And then something in her clicked.

How _dare_ he.

"Is that so?" she spat, eyes flaring up with anger. "Then why don't you go tell your fucking golden boy not to lie to people about their parents _dying_?"

_Dying. Dead. _Pain shot through her body.

"Me, me, it's always me_._Have you even taken a moment off your life to think about other people?"

Lily burst into giggles. Not the usual kind. Sarcastic, bitter, uncontrollable.

Black was not amused. He thrust his hands into his pockets and scowled. "What's your problem?" he barked.

She snorted. "You're ridiculous. Sometimes I don't think that you hear what comes out of your mouth."

"No, Evans. I think I hear everything that comes out of my mouth."

"You just said that I was selfish," she said in an obvious tone.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow.

Scoffing, Lily continued, "After all that's happened, you cannot seriously accuse me of being _selfish._"

She was met with silence.

Three seconds later, she shut her mouth with a sharp rattle of her teeth.

_Was _she selfish? Had she not done enough for her parents whilst they were alive? Would Mum and Dad be disappointed in her?

And then, she began to think... and saw everything.

* * *

Two months ago, at breakfast. She had received yet another letter from Mum and Dad, this time discussing their newly renovated bathroom and kitchen. _"It makes me so much happier... such a positive energy... so how is school, anyway?"_

Lily knew it was all a word-filler; they just wanted her to send back a reply back to them – something she had not done in three weeks, due to an overwhelming load from Head duties and NEWTs. So she stuffed the letter underneath her bed and walked away, leaving it behind with all the others to collect dust.

* * *

Christmas holidays, back home in Croydon. _Croydon._"Lily dear, let's go out shopping!" her Mum had proposed one morning.

Lily continued to munch on her peanut butter sandwich, never taking eyes off _The Great Gatsby _in front of her. "Sorry Mum, I'm going to Alisha's place," she had replied. She crossed her legs at the ankles, bobbing one foot up and down.

"How about tomorrow, then?"

"I've got to practise Charms. Sorry."

A guilty knot formed in her stomach as she saw Mum's disappointed expression, poorly masked with a fake, too-bright smile. Why hadn't she done anything?

* * *

Selfish. It was so selfish.

Lily's heart sunk as tears welled up in her eyes.

_Oh God_.

"Evans," Sirius said in a worried tone as he saw the beginnings of a breakdown surface within her. "Fuck Evans, you didn't actually take me seriously, did you?"

Lily's lips trembled. "No Black, you're right," she said shakily. She repressed a sniffle, trying in vain to take several deep breaths. They came out as coughs instead. "Shit," she murmured to herself. Lowering her gaze to the ground beneath her, she stared at every scratch, every defect of the faded brown surface.

She couldn't bear to face the world.

Sirius' brows furrowed in concern. _"What?"_ he exclaimed. Several passing students glanced curiously at the pair.

"Shh!" a Hufflepuff Third Year girl reprimanded, bringing a scolding finger to her lips.

"What?" Sirius repeated in a softer voice, his irritation still evident. "Bloody hell Evans, I was just trying to get a rise out of you! Don't go all mushy on me again!"

"It's okay," Lily whispered. A long clump of hair dropped from around her ear and dangled lifelessly in front of her face. It blocked her vision. Now all she could see was red.

Red. Blood. But her parents hadn't died like that, had they?

Oh well. She couldn't see the floor now as well, anyhow. Might as well close her eyes and see nothing but a black empty space.

She felt better after that.

* * *

There. She had found it.

Lily crouched up, hugging her knees to her chest. "Lumos," she whispered, and after double-checking that everyone was asleep, lowered her wand to the old, fading parchment in front of her.

_Dear Lily,_

_How was your first day of school? Mummy is so proud of you... promise that you'll tell me everything about Hogwarts! Have you done anything with your wand yet?_

_I hope you like this owl, because it's for you, darling. I bought it for you whilst you were shopping for books with Daddy at Diagon Ally, and the owl man told me how to use it. Make sure you give him a name soon!_

_Looking forward to hearing from you._

_Lots of love, Mummy.  
xoxo_

A teardrop hit the parchment, smudging her mother's name.

"No!" she cried out softly, and desperately dabbed the paper with her pyjama sleeve. She only succeeded in smudging _love_ as well. More tears streamed down Lily's eyes, blurring _first_ and _owl _and _Daddy _and so many words, until the letter was almost unreadable. She was shaking, gripping the letter too tightly to pull it away from her lap.

So she did the only thing she could do – tucked it under her pillow and curled up into a ball, crying herself to sleep.


	13. Skipping Class

**Wake Up - Chapter 13**

The next morning, Lily woke up to a puffy face, glaring light and...

_Grumbles?_

"OW!" she exclaimed, upon feeling a sharp peck on her ear. She immediately sat up in bed, groaning as her head spun in circles. "Grumbles, what are you doing here?"

Grumbles ruffled his feathers and settled upon her shoulder, clicking his beak in a content manner.

Lily blinked a few times. That was perhaps only the second time he had shown affection towards her – the first being when she had fallen off a broom from quite a reasonable height during class in First Year.

Then suddenly, she became aware of her surroundings.

Blonde. Brunette.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "You brought him up here," she mumbled accusingly.

They looked at her sheepishly. "Well, uh-"

"He better have not left me any presents on the bed!"

"Oh, no no no!" Emmeline said quickly. "Well, he did drop one on the way. But not on your bed! We just, well..."

"...didn't know how to wake you," Alice finished. They had the courtesy to look ashamed of themselves.

Grumbles gave her a gentle nudge. Lily couldn't help but smile. Taking him off her shoulder, she fondly brought him into a small hug. He squawked loudly and flew out of her grasp to the opposite end of the dormitory.

She sighed, and looked up at her friends again. "What do you want?"

"Um, well, we wanted to talk."

Lily decided to strategically ignore that comment.

"Oh crap, I slept through class, didn't I?" she said with a groan. "Oh no, that's the second time this year already! McGonagall's going to kill me."

"Nah, you don't have Minnie, you've got Sluggy right now."

"Oh, Slughorn?" she said offhandedly. "That shouldn't be too bad then... wait," she halted mid-sentence. "How can _you _be here?"

"We get to ditch class to 'look out for our friend's best interests and health'." Alice grinned.

Lily parted her lips.

"And we mean it this time, Lil. Talk to us."

She shut her mouth.

Damn.

Out of the blue, Lily felt depressed again. "What is there to talk about?" she muttered, averting her eyes to the doona that had slipped off the bed in the middle of the night.

Alice hesitated before saying, "We heard about what happened with Sirius."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Lily... it was..."

"Bloody nasty and inappropriate," she said scathingly. She still had not forgiven him for what he had said to her the day before.

Emmeline measured her carefully. "Uh, yes. But he has a point, you know."

"What she means," Alice chimed in hurriedly, "is that you _know _your Mum and Dad wouldn't have liked to see you like this. They know you love them, Lily."

"And they know you'll always love them, no matter what happens. But it's time to move on," Emmeline said softly.

It started to inch back into Lily. The black, tumbling guilt. Her face fell as her hand brushed underneath her pillow to retrieve the battered parchment.

Alice and Emmeline's eyebrows furrowed at the exact same time as the letter came into view. The scene would have been comical in a different situation.

"It's my first letter I received at Hogwarts," Lily admitted, fingering the parchment sadly. "I remember telling them only to write on parchment, or else I wouldn't fit in." Her voice cracked. "It's the only one I have left. I threw all the rest out a few weeks ago when we were cleaning out the dormitory," she whispered.

"Oh, Lil." Emmeline closed in to give her a tight hug. "Don't worry. They always knew that you loved them. You were just being a bit of a teenager, that's all. And a nerd," she said with a grin.

Lily hastily wiped away several tears with the back of her hand. "Thanks guys," she murmured. "Now uhh... can I go back to sleep, please?"

Emmeline tipped her head. "No," she said decisively, eyes sparkling. "You up for a game of Truth and Dare?"

Lily screwed her nose. "Um..."

"Well, you are now. Do you remember that day at breakfast when Sirius was being really weird, and he was rattling on about mangoes or something and then he just roared at us for no apparent reason?"

"Uhh... yeah?"

"Do you remember that we didn't want to tell you something because we were scared that you'd be really mad?"

"No." Lily stared at her blankly.

"Oh, well we were. _Anyway, _so we were planning to lock you and James up in a broom closet after your patrolling..."

Lily stiffened as her mind registered _that name._

"... but we couldn't find you. You just disappeared off somewhere. So we played Truth and Dare instead, and it was really fun. Peter spanked some girls' bums. We're making a weekly tradition out of it now. It wasn't as good without you and Sirius, though. Where were you, anyway?"

_Why would he lie to me?_

"Lil?"

"Huh? Oh," Lily bit her lip and answered without thinking, "I was in the Room of Requirement with Black."

Her friends stared at her as if she had gone mad.

"Why would you be in the Room of Requirement with _him_?"

"We had... stuff we needed to do."

"And James didn't know about this?" Emmeline asked exasperatedly.

"No," Lily replied, and turned back to her thoughts again.

_James._They had said it twice in the past half minute. _James. _She remembered that she had decided to call him... _James_... that night in the Room of Requirement whilst she was waiting for Sirius. She was tired, and her mind had been confused. That was before the world changed, and she no longer could call him anything without her insides ripping apart. Raw, bleeding.

She didn't notice Alice and Emmeline exchange worried glances.

Fidgeting, Alice cleared her voice. "So um, anyway," she began in a faux bright tone. "Truth and Dare tonight, yeah?"

Lily regarded them with apprehension. "Will... Potter... be there?" she managed to say.

There, she had done it. Still raw, but the bleeding was getting better.

"Yeah, why? Don't you want him there?" Emmeline asked in a worried tone.

_So they don't know about what he did. _Lily forced herself to speak in a nonchalant tone. "Oh no, I wouldn't care at all."

They saw right through her.

"I should probably get to class now," Lily said, jumping out of her bed and reaching for the hairbrush on her bedside table. She frowned momentarily. It had such a foreign touch – she hadn't used it for five days already. She quickly dropped it again and walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

As she clicked the door shut, she heard the distinct noise of a forehead being slapped by a palm, and Alice's muffled, groaning voice:

"_Shit, _we were right all along."


	14. Truth or Dare

**Wake Up - Chapter 14**

"So Black," Emmeline began loudly. "Do you have feelings for Lily?"

There was a silence. Sirius blinked slowly, as if his lids were made of lead, and his mouth stretched into a grin.

But he didn't say anything.

"Mate," James muttered beside him. Sirius did not reply. "Mate, c'mon."

Lily's eyes bulged out. _No, Black. Please. Please tell me you're joking._

Silence.

Oh _fuck._

Meanwhile, James' jaw was gradually dropping further and further down. Sirius Black was refusing to answer, because no one could lie with Veritasserium. Meaning only...

"No," Sirius replied smoothly. "I don't know why everyone has been thinking that lately. Why do I always have to like birds in that way for me to be friends with them?"

There was a collective sigh of relief.

Thank _God, _Lily thought, pushing her red hair back with one hand. Stupid Alice and Emmeline and their girly frames of mind.

"You... you actually thought that I liked Evans! HA!" Sirius' loud, deafening guffaws could be heard down the corridor for the remainder of the night.

* * *

Sirius' eyes gleamed. "Truth or Dare, Lilykins?"

"Dare," she answered immediately. It was by far the safer option – there was less to lose.

"I dare you to kiss James."

Lily froze.

...Or not.

"What?" she whispered almost inaudibly. No one other than Sirius and James had seemed to understand the magnitude of the proposition he had given her.

"You heard me. Kiss James," Sirius repeated, face breaking into a wide smirk. His expression told her that he knew exactly what he was doing.

Lily stayed put in her spot, immobile and terrified. Her breathing came in short breaths.

Sirius' voice came into her head, tainted with a hint of irritation. _Mourning's over, Evans. Time to get over your childish grudges._

_Fuck you, Black, _she replied coldly, sending a deathly glare in his direction. But deep down, she knew that what he had said was true.

They would not have wanted her to hold everything against everybody for the rest of her life. It would be such a waste, wouldn't it?

_Mourning's over._

Yes, she supposed that he was right. For once.

_Good girl, Evans. _This time Sirius' message was mocking, taunting.

Bastard.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him and pursed her lips. Two people could play at this game. "Sorry," she announced loudly. "I'm really busting. Gotta go to the toilet."

"Hey, you can't do that!" Peter protested.

She halted in her footsteps, feigning innocence. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want me to do it right here, then?"

"Do it? With James?" Sirius raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily slapped her forehead.

_See, I win._

James face was... comical, to say the very least. He looked as if he was on the verge of falling to his knees and kissing the ground she walked over.

Lily turned her head and, after several seconds, made the effort to smile at him tentatively. He held her gaze and gave a smile of his own.

A tingle ran through her body. She shivered.

* * *

Half an hour later, Lily had managed to escape kissing James (Sirius grudgingly approved a pass, on the provision that she promised to sleep with a mango in her bed that night – Lily grimaced and her cheeks burned; everyone else just looked confused), James had confessed that he had had nightmares of gigantic expanding garden elves coming to attack him in Second Year, and Remus had allowed everybody to decorate his face with permanent marker – moustache, bushy eyebrows, sideburns and all.

The small glass bottle was handed round, and Emmeline took a quick swig of the clear liquid inside.

"Emmeline, since when have you liked Sirius?" Remus interrogated daringly, an unusual mocking glint in his eyes.

Dare. Dare. Everyone had suddenly become so daring. Even when it was time for Truths.

"Who said that I ever liked him?" Emmeline argued angrily.

"Veritaserum, Em. No lies."

* * *

Emmeline lounged back onto Sirius' lap, giggling. In a slurred voice she said, "Peter, I dare you to flirt with Minnie throughout Transfiguration tomorrow."

"_What?_ Why didn't I get a normal question like everyone else?" Peter looked positively astounded. His chubby cheeks puffed out slightly in outrage.

Emmeline yawned. "Wormy, do we really need to answer that? Now just be a good boy and do what you're told."

"Fine."

"Good boy."

"You said that already."

"Gooooooood boy."

Peter looked at her exasperatedly.

"Us chicks will _totally_ dig you after this!" Emmeline suddenly jumped up from her position, running like a maniac around the Common Room. "LOOK AT ME, GUYS! I'M MMMAAGGGIIICCALLL!" she squealed.

Everybody stared.

Lily finally broke the awkward silence that had ensued amongst the group. "Black," she stated as-a-matter-of-factly. "Why do you like that girl?"

Black ignored her. Instead, he cupped his hands and roared over to still-running Emmeline. "ARE YOU MAGICAL?"

"YES!"

"SO AM I!"

"OH _MERLIN_, WE MUST BE DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER!"

"YES, WE MUST!"

"SIRI!" Emmeline screamed, running up at full-speed and jumping on top of him, knocking him down to the ground with a loud battle cry. The pair rolled around, laughing in hysterics.

Finally, _finally, _Emmeline crawled over and whispered in a husky tone into his ear, "I think that we should snog. Now."

About bloody time.

Sirius nipped her ear playfully.

Everybody watched the scene unfold before them in horror.

"Oh, my eyes," Alice muttered.

Lily snorted, turning her head away with a smile.

They were all mad. Every single one of them.


	15. The Truth

**Wake Up - Chapter 15**

The next morning, Lily woke up earlier than usual – minus the surprise of Grumbles that Alice and Emmeline had given her the day before. It was a beautiful day and the sun filtered through a gap in the curtains, shining a narrow ray across her body. Lily smiled. All was quiet save for Alice's soft, sporadic snores.

She got up and tiptoed around the dormitory, grabbing a dark red V-neck sweater and a pair of jeans, sliding the bathroom door open and letting herself inside to change clothes.

She stopped herself as she was slipping one leg into her jeans.

No. Not yet… she wanted a shower first.

"I want a shower," Lily whispered to herself, growing more and more excited as she stripped off her pyjamas and hopped behind the waterproof curtain. "Shower, shower, clean..." She let out a small cry of relief as hot water cascaded out from the nozzle, and soap made contact with skin.

Lather. _Bubbles_.

It was just like Heaven. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth, lapping at the water greedily but catching hardly anything due to the water spraying onto the rest of her face. Then she picked up her bottles of shampoo and conditioner. With an ear-splitting grin, Lily began the process of washing her hair.

It had been so long.

After she had dried and wrapped herself up in a fluffy white towel, Lily picked up the black hairbrush beside the sink in front of her and began to work it through the tangled tendrils of her hair. She hummed the tune of _I'm a Little Teapot _without realising that it was the song that she and her parents would traditionally sing every Saturday night when she was five years old.

A small bottle on Emmeline's shelf caught her eye. It was a cube-like shape and dark pink in colour: _Madame Morein's Sleek Strengthening Hair Potion._

Oh, why not?

And without a second thought, Lily unscrewed the bottle and poured a capful of the potion onto her hair as the label instructed. A shiver went down her spine. She opened her eyes, and—

"Wow," Alice said from behind her.

Lily jerked in surprise, swivelling around to meet her bleary-eyed friend. "Hey, why are you up so early?"

"Heard the shower," Alice answered with a grin. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. "You really should steal more of that hair potion from Emmeline."

"Now we know why she has such amazing hair."

"And now we know why Sirius likes her so much," Alice joked.

Lily laughed along with her. Her mouth was dry, and the muscles around her face felt overstretched, but she felt better than she had in days.

"Lil?"

"Yeah?"

"We haven't had much time lately to just... talk," Alice said softly. "Do you want to hang out with Emmeline and me in our free after lunch?"

"Nah. I have to do this Charms essay..." Lily began, but upon seeing Alice's face fall, hastily added, "...but how about dinner? Let's just skip and play Exploding Snap instead, yeah?"

Alice laughed lightly. "Yeah. That'd be great. And Lil?"

"Yeah?" Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror happily, patting down the side of her hair.

"It's nice to see you back."

"Thanks," she replied after a pause. "I should uh... I should go now." Without waiting for a reply, she motioned for Alice to leave, shutting the door behind her so that she could change into fresh clothes.

Her usually-tight jeans were not a stretch to put on today. Lily frowned. Had she lost weight? Shaking the thought from her mind, she ran out of the dormitory into the Common Room, stopping dead at her feet as she saw the upper outline of Emmeline and Sirius' bodies snuggled up together on a couch. They were both sleeping.

She giggled. Sirius mumbled something incoherent, and rolled onto his other side. With an indulgent smile, Lily proceeded with silent steps out of the portrait hole into the hallway.

"Lily."

Lily froze as her mind registered _that_voice. She forced herself to continue walking.

_It's nothing. Walk away._

"Lily, please?"

She ignored him. The sound of fast approaching footsteps behind her put her on edge.

_"What, Severus?"_ she snapped, turning around to face the Slytherin.

Snape recoiled from her slightly. His hunched body looked up pleadingly at Lily, with the same old greasy black hair and long hook-like nose. "How are you?"

But he seemed... older than before. More solemn, with more responsibilities.

Lily felt a tug of sympathy, but quickly pushed it away. She narrowed her eyes. "Severus," she growled, "do _not_try to get close to me so you can feed back information about 'the filthy mudblood' to all your wonderful Slytherin friends. Don't you get it? _I don't care."_

He couldn't seriously think that she would make any more efforts for him.

"You know that's a lie," responded Severus quietly, regarding her with a reserved intensity.

He held her gaze for the longest time that he had done so in a while. Since Fifth Year.

Lily returned the expression defiantly. However, her resolve was weakening – fast – as those small black eyes pulled her back into those old days when _nothing could go wrong..._

Severus' words had frightened her. Hell, the sound of his _voice_frightened her after all these years.

"What do you want?" she finally said, crossing her arms with a sigh.

He cast his eyes downward. "I heard about your parents," he muttered. "Sorry."

"Is that seriously all?" groaned Lily. Tears prickled at her eyes; she turned her head to the side so that he would not see. "It's over, Sev. Thanks, but I have to go now." Her voice cracked as she moved past him, accidentally brushing his shoulders. He flinched.

"I also heard about Potter," he called out.

Lily's stomach dropped.

And that was it. He was in.

Feeling numb, she allowed Snape to catch up with her. He placed a hand on the small of her back, guiding her out onto a high huddle of rocks that overlooked the Lake. What used to be _their _spot. They sat down together, with Snape's arm around hers

"How did you find out?" she asked him quietly. She had forgotten how much she liked being with him here.

"He's a right bastard, he is," Severus spat, ignoring her question. "Arrogant and mindless like the rest of his friends. How dare he do that to you!"

"Stop, Sev," Lily said gently. She bit her trembling lip. "I've forgiven him now."

He regarded her with a mixture of horror and disbelief. "W-what?" he spluttered.

"I've-"

"You've _forgiven _him?"

"Yes, but-"

"Are you mad? This is Potter we're talking about!"

Lily sighed in frustration. Part of her knew that this was true, and wanted to make amends with Severus then and there.

But the other part...

"At least," she said coolly, shrugging his arm off her body, "at least he wasn't the cause of Mum and Dad's deaths, hmm?" Her face began to heat up. "Was it you, Sev? Or your friends?" she demanded.

Severus' face whitened. "No, it wasn't me, I swear!" he pleaded, voice laced with desperation. "He just knew it was a muggle area..."

"He? You do so much for this guy and you still can't even say his name? You wanted to get back at me, did you? Hit me where it hurts most because of what I did in _Fifth_ Year?"

"No no no, that's completely irrelevant! I tried to stop him, I really did!"

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Did you really, Severus?"

"Yes," he begged. "Honestly, I did." He averted his gaze to the small grey pebbles scattered beneath them.

"You're lying," she said coldly. "Get out."

"No, please," Severus whispered, grabbing onto her arm. "Let's just be friends."

Lily glared at him with loathing. "Honestly, out of all things that you could've taken away from me, it had to be my _parents?"_

The sun had gone down. A storm was approaching.

"You look beautiful," he said feebly, in a last attempt to patch things up between them.

"Oh, _fuck off."_

Severus froze for several moments.

"Okay," he said softly, covering his face with his robe as he stood up beside her. "Okay," he repeated again. "Bye, Lily..." He slowly dragged his feet away.

Lily made no indication that she had heard him. She felt hollow inside.

After staring at the unmoving lake for several minutes without blinking, she finally buried her face in her palms and sobbed, feeling the tears run down between her fingers. "Why?" she murmured to herself, sniffing as another round of tears emerged. "Why, why..."

"What were you doing before with Severus?" a loud voice made her jump.

Lily lifted her head to see...

_Fuck. _Why?

The person she liked least in the world right now. Her mind flittered back to Severus. Okay, maybe second least.

_Potter._

She angrily wiped away her tears. "Potter-"

"Thought you didn't like him anymore."

Lily stood up with such violence that James instinctively took several steps back. He held his hands up in defence. "Woah. Okay, so you like him then-"

"You know what, Potter?" she hissed. "You need to learn to get _out_ of my life. Now."

James furrowed his eyebrows. "What's gotten you wound up so much? Last night you were okay."

_"I'll never be okay with you!"_ she screamed, stepping forward and jabbing a sharp finger on his chest. He stared at her numbly. "After all that you've done, you expect me to be _okay_ with you? Are you kidding me?"

"Lily," he began desperately. "Lily, please..."

"_Why did you lie?"_

James was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth and closed it several times, finally settling to run a hand nervously through his hair.

"Spit it out, Potter. You have no right to keep this from me," growled Lily, grinding her teeth loudly. Her fists clenched up by her sides.

"Because..." he finally managed to choke out, "because..."

"Because _what?"_

All the life drained out from his face.

"I thought I could keep it from you until your birthday."

And then it all came crashing down to Lily.

_Birthday_. Her birthday was tomorrow. And it was her seventeenth as well, when she would become of wizarding age.

James continued. "But then _Snivellus _was trying to get to you to tell you himself, so I headed up to the Owlery to break it to you..." he trailed off, eyes widening as Lily turned redder, angrier and feistier than he had ever seen her before.

No. He did _not._

Lily swallowed, visibly shaking with fury. "So," she began in an unnaturally high-pitched tone. "You finally decided to inform me about my murdered parentsbecause you didn't want to come out second-best to Severus, is that right?"

James shifted in his feet. She waited for no reply.

"I've just been waiting for this, _Potter_," she hissed. "For all of these years you've infuriated me to no _fucking _end... but I've never actually had an excuse to do this_. _Until now. So thank you, I guess," she laughed bitterly. "That can be your birthday present to me."

And without warning, Lily's fist connected violently with the side of his face. James exclaimed out as his head tipped back with a loud, deafening crack. He clutched his eye and nose as blood trickled down between his fingers and stumbled back, coming to a screeching halt upon realising that there was no footing behind him.

It was a five metre drop to the lake below.

Good.

"Lily," he appealed to her weakly, teetering on the edge of the rock face. "Lily, come on. Don't do this!"

Egotism and arrogance drained out like dirty water in a sink.

"I hope you go to _Hell," _Lily spat. And with another swift punch, James was sent over the edge, tumbling back-first down into the water below.

She turned back and began to walk away, shaking slightly.

There was a loud splash behind her. She hoped that he wasn't able to swim. Or, even better, that he hadn't survived the fall.


	16. Turning Tables

**Thanks heaps to my reviewers Zakuro46, ilovemybestestfriends, bluelotus22, Tribot, K Corra, mollylolly, trufflebear and hpmaxridefan24! :)**

**Just letting you know (because I've had a couple of people asking) that I should hopefully be able to continue updating regularly throughout Christmas and the New Year. ENJOY!**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 16**

Lily glumly pushed a gobstone out on the floor in front of her. "Em, Alice?"

Emmeline and Alice looked up at her expectantly.

"I may have done something very stupid today."

Alice frowned slightly. "Yeah, what?" she asked.

Lily bit her lip and looked down to the ground, fiddling with her gobstones. She took one between her thumb and forefinger, lifted her wrist, and dropped it back down again. _Plop. _"I may have..." she began hesitantly, "...done something on the spur of the moment that put James into a lot of strife." _Plop._

Her friends waited for her with questioning eyes. She could tell that Emmeline's best efforts to be patient were proving to be difficult. The girl constantly fidgeted, tapping one foot against the other and edgily blowing strands of hair out of her face.

Lily sighed. If only they would be so understanding after this. "I...I pushed him off that bunch of rocks by the Lake this morning," she admitted.

_Plop._

There was a stunned silence for several moments.

"_The _bunch of rocks?" Emmeline gasped.

"Yeah..."

"You've got to be kidding me, right?" she said flatly.

"Um..."

"Are you _mad?"_

"Well..."

"You could've killed him!"

Lily paled. "No, no," she murmured. "He wouldn't _die..."_

_...or a piece of me might just die as well._

"Lil," Emmeline snapped, "those rocks are five metres above the Lake. If you seriously think that he could survive a fall safely like that, you're dumber than I thought."

Lily busied herself by picking bits of lint off the carpet.

Alice's quiet voice broke the tension. "But you told somebody after you did it, right?" she asked anxiously.

No reply.

Emmeline groaned. "Are you kidding me? Please tell me that this isn't because of your parents... _again_."

"_Again? _What's that supposed to mean?" Lily said angrily.

"It means," Emmeline retorted, "that ever since they died you've been moaning and groaning about everything, and frankly been an absolute _shithead _to live with. Even ask Alice."

Lily shifted her glare to Alice, who turned her head away with a light blush. "Well it's all Potter's-"

Emmeline's voice reached near-hysterics."Potter, Potter, Potter! Will you STOP blaming everything on him already?"

Lily sat up straight and threw a gobstone hard against the ground. It bounced several times, gradually coming to a stop by Alice's feet.

"I have a right!" she screeched. "You have absolutely _no idea_ what he put me through!"

A spark shot through Emmeline's eyes. "Oh really? Try me," she growled.

Lily could not help but laugh. Bitterly, of course.

Where to start? At the Owlery, or when she was running to Dumbledore's office? Or perhaps when Sirius had mentioned the Croydon attack. But then they would be wondering why she was talking to Sirius in the first place, or why she had even been willingly conducting a pleasant conversation with James. Nothing would make sense to them.

Only then did Lily realise that, well... her friends didn't know her at all.

It was this admission that deflated her temper like an old party balloon floating out of place – a sharp pin to the base, where the air would seep out until only a shrivelled sheet of bright rubber remained. A myriad of jumbled thoughts scattered through her mind as she closed her eyes to begin her explanation, but the words just seemed to manage by themselves to... flow out.

Lily murmured, "He said that Mum and Dad didn't die because he didn't want to ruin my birthday, but then a few hours later he told me that he had been lying and they actually _were _dead, and all because he didn't want Severus to say the truth before him."

And that was it.

She was shocked. The whole course of events that had destroyed relationships and had almost _broken_ her had just been summarised in one single sentence.

One sentence.

Why did it seem so simple and goddamned _trivial _now?

The sound of Alice's moan caused her eyes to snap open again. "So _that's _what all this drama's been about," her friend muttered underneath her breath.

Emmeline, on the other hand, didn't say anything. She simply looked, well...

Pissed. Really, _really_ pissed.

"Come on, guys. You can't possibly not be on my side for this," Lily said softly. "I mean yeah, I admit it. I went a bit far, but _Potter-"_

"No, we're not," Alice interrupted, blue orbs gazing intently in her direction. For the first time, Lily had heard her voice tainted with an edge of irritation. "The boy was just trying to make you feel better, for crying out loud. That doesn't give you permission to throw him off a cliff!"

"Rocks," she whispered.

"What?"

"It wasn't a cliff, they were rocks."

"Oh, shut up," hissed Alice.

Lily winced. She expected this kind of reaction from Emmeline, but Alice? Never Alice. She had always been the calm and collected one; the peacekeeper.

Well, if she had landed in a hole, Lily's stubborn conscience made the decision to simply dig herself deeper. It was the easier option; this way she didn't have to face the reality that her actions may have been... uncalled for. "The bloody toerag was only nice to me because after all these years he _still _didn't want to lose out to Severus..."

"Can you blame him? It's _Snivellus_. You act like you're in love with him anyway. Makes us want to vomit every time." Emmeline could not hide her disgust.

Lily glared at her, and then continued. "And besides," she said. "He's a total-"

"Don't you feel bad at all?" snapped Emmeline. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Oh, bloody bludgers.

"I DO!" Lily yelled. "What do you think I've been trying to say this entire rudding time? But no, all you can do is make me feel even more horrible about what I've done to _Potter._" She clawed her fingers through her hair, growling in aggravation.

If only they knew how many hours she had spent tearing herself up over the incident this morning. There were several _kilos _worth of bitten off nails owing to that scattered around the castle!

Well, not kilos. Maybe grams.

"Anyway," she finished stubbornly, "Black knows."

"Didn't you say that you didn't tell anyone?" Alice chimed.

"He just knows, alright? So Potter is safe. I'm sure... I hope. Black wouldn't leave him to die like that."

"But would you, Lil?" Emmeline raised her eyebrows unsmilingly.

_Would you, Lil?_

Like a sharp knife, those words cut straight into Lily's heart. She froze, unable to do anything but stare at a blank point in space. Shocked.

_Would_ she? Of course she would, but...

Emmeline continued. This time it wasn't a question – it was an order.

"Go to the Hospital Wing. Now."

And Lily obeyed.

* * *

As she stumbled along the hallways, ignoring the loud exclamations from the paintings around her ("Oh, be _quiet,_ will you?"), Lily came to a sudden realisation: she cared for James.

Really, truly cared for him.

Ever since that time by the Lake in Fifth Year, he had changed. He stopped hexing innocent passer bys in corridors, even _Severus. _She remembered the first time he had passed the scrawny Slytherin student after that incident. She had expected a _Petrificus Totalus _to fly his way_, _or an _Expelliarmus _at the very least.

But nothing. James tightened his jaw, spared a glance for Severus, and turned his back away.

Black had been as shocked as Lily when that had happened. It was probably the first thing they shared in common.

It was the same for school. James no longer bragged openly about his stunning grades, how he could perform a stunning spell or a summoning charm three years before they were taught at Hogwarts. He listened in class, and acted quiet like everyone else.

Okay no, that part was wrong. He still made havoc with Sirius and probably always would, much to McGonagall's disappointment and Lily's...

Delight?

So, she liked James.

As a friend.

However, this realisation did not ease the sinking feeling in Lily's stomach as she hurried down a flight of stairs, taking a sharp right turn into a brightly-lit corridor.

A portrait of an elderly woman smiled at her. Wisps of curly grey hair escaped from her tight bun, which pulled the skin on her forehead taut. "Off to the Hospital Wing, dear?" she asked kindly, brushing down the dust on her dark green velvet gown.

Lily forced a smile. "Yeah," she said. Her vocal chords felt dry, and unused. She nodded her head in acknowledgement at the lady, and continued down the corridor.

But her mind just could not seem to rid itself of one thought – What if James really wasn't okay? What if she had...

Lily felt a choking at the back of her throat.

_Black, Black? _she called out in her mind, desperately praying that he was holding onto the 'rock'. _Black, _please! _Is he okay? Please tell me that he's okay._

_See for yourself, Evans. _

It was a tired voice, not cocky or jovial.

Something was wrong.

_Is he in the Hospital Wing?_

_Yes._

_Oh thank God. Is he _okay?

Silence. Then, _I don't know if you could call it that._

Oh _no..._

Lily instinctively grabbed one side of her hair and pulled it across her mouth, quickening her footsteps with shaky legs. It smelled like strawberries, just like James said when he was describing the scent coming out of his Amortienta.

Would he still smell strawberries after this? Or would he even be _there _to smell strawberries?

After what seemed like centuries, Lily finally rounded up another hallway and pushed the door to the Hospital Wing open, rushing in loudly and coming to a halt to observe all the patients in bed.

Since when were there so many injuries at Hogwarts?

She recognised several faces – Mulciber, Wood, Weasley, Diggory – but soon became frustrated. She wanted _black _hair, _black, raven _black, not brown or red or blonde or...

Lily's breath hitched.

There on the far left bunk at the corner of the room, still as a lifeless corpse, was James Potter.

He must have been sleeping, for his glasses sat on the small table beside him and his mop of hair looked more unruly than ever, but when Lily finally reached him he was staring straight at her with eyes wide open.

"Lil?" he murmured.

Lily ordered her squirming insides not to melt.

Oh, but that _voice_...

_Lil?_

A question, not a statement. He wanted to know what she had come here for.

Lily moved to sit on the edge of the bed by his feet.

_Lil?_

"Sorry, James," she said quietly, holding his gaze. "Forgive me. Please."

An eternity seemed to pass between them. He said nothing – just regarded her with a quiet aloofness.

She felt like bursting into tears then and there.

But then, _finally,_ his face broke into a heart-warming smile, causing Lily's world to freeze for just those few seconds. "You stole my very words," he laughed shakily, voice coming out raspy. He blinked slowly, a sad smile playing on his lips, before sliding down further till only his head stuck out from the bed covers.

Lily exhaled loudly. She wanted to laugh out loud in relief and punch the air, because he had said _yes _and he had called her _Lil _which meant that everything must be okay.

But instead, she leaned in and hugged him, just like good friends do.

But unlike good friends, an electric spark passed through the two as they did so, and Lily felt a shiver travel down her spine.

It could've been the cold though. She shrugged it off and smiled. It was over, and something entirely new had begun.

* * *

**And FINALLY the angst ends!**

**I just realised that if I was really mean and lazy, I could end the fic here. But I won't, because I'm way too evil to give Lily and James a happily ever after straight away, and I love you guys too much to stop talking to you. ;)**

**~ Emily xoxo**


	17. Her Very Own Love Story

**Hey everyone! I'm SO SORRY that this update came so late. You see, I'm trying to make my chapters longer and this took me quite a while. xD This chapter is (at least) twice the length of your average one from me. Hope you enjoy!**

**And thanks to my amazing reviewers: cerdogordo, Dancer Chick, SucksRoyalHippogriff, Zakuro46, batgirl2992, Lucia Rayne, bluelotus22, Abbypotter654321, misszsalvatore101, Tribot and ilovemybestfriends. Love you all. :)**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 17**

Obviously, he had fallen down after she pushed him. However, he had been able to ease his fall into the water through a non-verbal cushioning charm. Lily didn't know that he could execute such a difficult spell in a life or death situation like that. James would do well as an Auror.

Then, just as Lily suspected, Sirius had read her thoughts with the rock and found James a couple of minutes later attempting to swim feebly back to shore.

"He never really lets go of that thing, does he?" James remarked. He straightened his back, massaging a crook in his neck. "If he wasn't my best mate, I would probably think that he'd taken a fancy to you, along with half the female population at Hogwarts."

She pointed out, "Yeah, but all those girls are _pretty _and get chased by dozens of guys anyway. Black just gets his pick every time."

James raised an eyebrow. "Your point being?" he asked.

"Um, maybe that I'm not pretty and guys generally don't... umm..."

Why was this conversation becoming so awkward? Talking about love affairs with _James_. Who would've guessed it?

"Lil, that's because I hexed all those that did try. And trust me, there were many."

"Oh." Lily had to turn her burning cheeks away to avoid further embarrassment. Somehow the idea of James driving away all her potential suitors did not anger her anymore. It was just embarrassing. And a little pleasing. "Would you still hex them for me?" she mumbled.

Wait, did she say that out loud?

Oh _crap._

Lily squeezed her eyes tight, silently praying that he did not pick up on what she had said. _No no no no no no..._

"What?" James smiled.

_Ahhh shit._

"Don't worry," Lily replied quickly, feeling quite like a sizzled slice of red meat under his intent gaze. James' face fell slightly, but he did not push the point. He probably knew already.

Silence ensued amongst the two.

"What, did Black levitate you to the Hospital Wing or something?" she asked finally, quietly inspecting her fingernails.

"Nah" he replied. "He's so stupid that he would've cracked my head against the rocks on the way here." Never mind that Sirius received top marks in class, along with Lily and James. "I walked here with him. Felt a bit shaky though, so he let me use his shoulder for support."

"Ahh, young love," Lily teased, plastering on a large smile for his benefit. She marvelled at the way thousands of tiny fluttering butterflies exploded in her stomach as his expression positively glowed with joy and adoration.

Alice had once told her in Sixth Year that James practically worshipped her. Lily had dismissed the claim at that time with a mere scoff. However, she was now beginning to think that her friend's words had some element of truth in them.

Because honestly, she had screamed nasty words at him and pushed him off some sharp rocks – Lily winced at the recollection – leaving him to die all alone, and he had forgiven her _already_?

Oh, she loved his boy.

Lily froze. That was a grossly exaggerated use of language. She scolded herself for being so stupid. Her father, who was an English teacher, would have been very disappointed in her for using words in such a loose fashion.

No, he wouldn't, actually. Lily smiled as she remembered what he used to always tell her in his odd moments of deep philosophical thought. _When you say something completely unexpected without meaning it, you actually _do _mean it. It's your mind's way of trying to get a message across._

Yes, maybe he could actually be right in this instance. Lily loved James. As a _friend._

Nevertheless, she hesitated as she said his name. "James..." It sort of felt different on her lips now. _James. James. _She mouthed it a couple of times, frowning slightly as she did so.

"Yes?" His head shot up eagerly, smile growing even wider (if that was possible).

"Why aren't you yelling at me?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "Do you want me to yell at you?"

Lily stared. James continued. "You know, you've always been quite feisty with me, but I never knew that that's how you really like it." He winked. "In all honesty, I'm not one for all the kinky stuff. But you'll soon discover that I'm a very adaptable creature..."

Lily let out a frustrated growl. "I pushed you off a _cliff," _she interrupted him loudly, wincing as she heard her voice reverberate around the room. Several students in other beds craned their necks to in an attempt to discover more about the latest scene between Lily Evans and James Potter. It was irritating. She and James weren't zoo animals to goggle mindlessly at.

James' expression remained unreadable. "Not a cliff," he replied smoothly. "Rocks."

Oh, for Merlin's effing sake.

"I don't care," she hissed, leaning in closer, "if it was a cliff or rocks. I was horrible to you, and you haven't _yelled at me yet!"_

"I was more horrible to you. I lied about a very serious issue."

"In the best of intentions!"

"Doesn't matter. I still lied, and it hurt you."

"I pushed you into the Lake! You could've died, or been captured by the Giant Squid!"

"Oh, God forbid," he replied dryly. "The Giant Squid. Anyway, I didn't die, and I'm fine now, aren't I?"

"James-"

"Shut it, Lily," he said harshly. "What's it to you?"

Lily scowled. "Justice hasn't been served!" she cried, hands flailing around in front of her. "You're supposed to yell at me. Scream! Not just act all nice and polite as if nothing has happened!"

She was acting like a psychotic maniac, but seriously: how thick could you _get?_

James blinked slowly, as if his eyelids were made of lead. "I understand," he began quietly, "that I hurt you. A lot. Merlin knows how much I've suffered seeing you like that in these past few days. But you know, you've had a right to show me that I was wrong, even though I knew already. So you did... what you did. And it might've gone too far, but I get why, yeah?"

"No," Lily snapped. "No, I don't understand a thing."

He gave her a flitting glance, then shut his eyes lazily. "Oh well. There have been plenty of times like that in the past. You'll live, love."

Lily immediately tensed at James' use of the nickname. She brutally kicked the mahogany wood which framed his bed and then stood up suddenly, stomping away from him in aggravation towards the exit. Then, as she realised that everybody was staring at her (yet again), she quietened her steps and tried to muster as much dignity as possible in her walk down the long row of beds. Her neck prickled. She pursed her lips and fixed her gaze straight ahead.

A light chuckle from the back of the room was all that accompanied her on her way out.

* * *

Lily had never liked oxymorons. The ambiguity of them annoyed her to no end. So whenever her Dad would become all philosophical and bring up some deep, contemplative question, she would immediately smack two hands over her ears and hum to him happily, "Please don't try to convert me, Daddy. It'll do my brain more harm than good."

So, one would naturally understand that she was very frustrated over the current oxymoronic problem in her life: James Potter.

Yes, him.

For Merlin's sake, couldn't the bloke make up his mind? One day he would be unbelievably sweet, the next day heartbreaking. And by heartbreaking, she meant _heartbreaking _heartbreaking, in a cliché angsty movie kind of way. He was the cause of her misery.

But then he was the cause of her happiness. Aside from _that _time, Lily would always feel a rush of excitement whenever she saw the back of his head or his vibrant expression that radiated happiness or those _abs_ after Quidditch matches when he had his shirt slung over his shoulder and...

Enough said.

Well, Lily thought with a sigh as she stepped through the portrait hole, gaining entrance to the warm and quiet atmosphere of the Gryffindor Common Room, at least one thing was certain – the words _boring _and _James Potter _did not belong together. In fact, they repelled each other to the opposite ends of the planet.

Things were different between them now.

So different.

* * *

Lily had a basic motto she abided to: When everything failed and life was shit, read. So she took the thoroughly-read copy of the hardback novel lying on her bedside table and slipped underneath her heavy doona, handling the book with an acquired sort of tenderness. She ran a light fingertip down the elaborately adorned spine, finger passing through several bumps of elegant gold as she did so.

Slowly, she opened the book to its first page:

**Pride and Prejudice**

**by**

**Jane Austen**

She shut the book, allowing it to balance upright on its spine, then took her hands away. _Pride and Prejudice _fell to a page at random.

No, not random. It was page 357. Lily was sure of it. She glanced down to check – and sure enough, there it was: _three hundred and fifty-seven. _It had been read so many times that the crease on the spine was deep from opening the book many times to this page.

She blinked and focused her eyes on the words on the page.

_Elizabeth, feeling all the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to speak; and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him to understand that her sentiments had undergone so material a change since the period to which he alluded, as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasure his present assurances._

The coincidence was almost comical. The story could be the exact replica of Lily and James' relationship, if only her name was Elizabeth and James' was Fitzwilliam (she shuddered), and they were, well... two hundred years older than they were right now.

_The happiness which this reply produced was such as he had probably never felt before, and he expressed himself on the occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be supposed to do._

Would James do that?

_Had Elizabeth been able to encounter his eyes, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight diffused over his face became him..._

"Are you fantasising about James in that old ladies' tale again?"

Lily's head snapped up to meet a very amused Emmeline. "It's not an old ladies' tale," she argued, placing a hand over the book protectively. "It's a classic. And I'm not romanticising about James."

Emmeline fought to hide a smirk. "I said fantasising, not romanticising, Lil."

"Oh _whatever," _grumbled Lily. "But I'm not."

"Sure, sure," Emmeline replied airily. She opened her closet and turned her back on Lily. She pulled out a dark green sweater with low shoulders, holding it in front of her. "What do you think? My colour?"

"You look like a mouldy lump of wet grass," Lily retorted.

"Careful, Lil. James wouldn't appreciate such hurtful insults like that. You don't want to offend him."

Lily shut her mouth immediately with a reproachful glare. "Why would I care if Potter cared?" she mumbled.

It was an appalling display. Even as the words were coming out of her mouth, they _tasted _sour, as if she knew that they were all lies from the start.

Which she kind of did.

"Oh, you are _so whipped_," Emmeline cackled, slipping the sweater off the hanger with a wicked smile spread across her face. She tossed the hanger aside. "The funny thing is, you've fallen in love with him right after he made the decision not to bother with you. Not that he doesn't like you, or anything. He did it for you. Thought that you've had enough of him."

Lily tensed up.

_He did it for you. Thought you've had enough of him._

She tried her best to ignore that last remark, and instead asked with a slight strain, "Why... why are you picking out clothes anyway?"

Emmeline glanced at her as if nothing was wrong. "It's Saturday tomorrow."

"Yeah?"

_"Hogsmeade, _Lil."

Hogsmeade.

Hogs. Meade.

_Hogsmeade Hogsmeade Hogsmeade Hogsmeade Hogsmeade..._

"Why?" she groaned, burying her face into the old yellowing pages of Elizabeth and Darcy's mutual profession of love. "Why why why..." She wished that she could jump back in time and wear beautiful gowns, living her own love story where everything was certain to turn out absolutely spanking fine.

With James, of course.

They could forget the past, and move on. Or move backwards, so to speak.

Amongst all the drama, everything that had happened... Lily still couldn't help but feel a little miserable that this was the first time since Fourth Year James had not asked her out to Hogsmeade. With good reasons. But _still._

"Why?" she repeated, banging her head against the book in her lap. _Bang. _"Why does my life have to be-" _bang _– "so shitty and full of-" _bang – _"effing _disappointments_?"

"Hey, hey," Emmeline said softly, rushing up to her side, "enough with the suicide attempts, okay? I'm sure James wanted to ask you, but the timing just wasn't uhh... right."

"I _hate _him!" Her voice came out in muffled moans. "He always does this, he always..."

"Always does what?" Emmeline asked, with an edge of humour to her voice.

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"It's okay." She rubbed Lily's back mock-soothingly. "I'm sure he'll see the light soon. He does ask you out almost everyday, after all. Although you've always rejected him quite harshly, I must say. Wounded pride can only go so far with a man. But there's something I don't understand."

"What?"

"If you're dying so much to go out to Hogsmeade with him, why don't you just ask him yourself?"

_"Shut up, _Emmeline Vance," she snapped.

"Fine," Emmeline replied cheerfully. "I see I'm not wanted here. I'll leave you and your slaggish thoughts alone now. Toodleoo!" She turned away, snatching up a pair of dark jeans on her way out to go with her sweater.

"Wait," Lily said quietly, lifting her head up several inches so that she was able to see her friend's blurred outline. "Em?"

Emmeline stopped at the doorway with her back facing Lily. "Yes, Lily?" she called.

"Do you..." she hesitated, biting her lip. "Do you really think he still likes me?"

There was a pause for several moments. Then a sing-song-like laugh and a sharp click of the door as it swung shut.

* * *

That night, there was a Heads meeting.

Lily spotted James down the hallway as he entered the empty classroom alone. That messy black hair was unmistakeable, even from a distance. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and his posture was slightly slouched as he made his way through the entrance.

Something seemed strange. Where was that arrogant strut that she had become particularly fond of lately?

"James?" she asked him breathlessly as she rushed in after him.

She took a moment to cast her gaze across the classroom. It was one of the small ones, brightly lit with faded yellow walls. There was no furniture save for a long rectangular wooden table and its corresponding chairs.

James was sitting by the head table at the far end of the room.

Slouching. _Again._

He did not look up from his lap as she spoke. "Mmm?"

"Is everything alright?"

He lifted his head up, and for a brief moment Lily saw a flash of the old James. The lively James, who was full of energy and vigour and life. But it disappeared as quickly as it had come, and then all she could see was... dullness. Fatigue.

It was utterly ridiculous, but she could feel tears form at the corners of her eyes. _Tears for James Potter. _She snorted.

She walked down to the end of the room, footsteps echoing unnaturally loudly around the silent room. James did not move. "What are you thinking about?" she murmured, taking a seat beside him. The chair was hard, just like the ones she used to sit on in primary school. It was quite a cold night, but Lily's hands were unbelievably sweaty as she unknowingly gripped the edge of the table, waiting for his response.

"Us," James replied nonchalantly, expression giving nothing away.

_Us. _Just like it was normal, ordinary. As if they were no more special than any other two people. The tears were threatening to escape, and she had to bite down on her lip to prevent an audible sob.

This was horrible. This wasn't _James._

And then she frowned. What did she have to lose anyway? He was already...

A lump formed in her throat.

Arm shaking, Lily slowly brought her index finger out in front of her, using it to gently tip the bottom of his chin up. He flinched at her touch. "James," she whispered. "Come on, James. Don't-"

His hand caught her wrist in a blindingly fast motion.

He looked at her. Lily's jaw dropped.

That quiet, depressed James? Lily didn't know what had happened to him, but as far as she was concerned, he was gone. And she was just fine and dandy with that.

James – this, this _new_ James – his handsome features glowed brilliantly, just like the first day he had met her. He regarded her with a deep, searing sort of look, and his sparkling eyes bored straight into hers, blazing as bright and clear as a summer's day. "So," he said simply. "I was right."

His expression positively _dazzled._

Lily would have replied if she had not been too busy trying to steady her breathing and un-mess her melting insides. Her hand had already cowardly retreated back to her the moment he had looked at her. Goose bumps rose on the back of her neck and her upper arms and legs and... all over her body. Tingles. So many tingles.

It was something entirely new. Frightening, almost. Because her mind, which would right now usually be off in a frantic spiel?

It was blank. Entirely blank.

"You _do _care about me, don't you?"

And after another shocked, elongated silence, James ran a quick tongue over his lips and smiled.

Lily nearly fainted.

By God, those lips were a _unique _colour. Some exclusive shade of pink and red with a tinge of...

"Go to Hogsmeade with me," he demanded.

And her reaction wasn't, _Finally! Took his bloody time! _or _Um, excuse me? _What _did he just ask?_

It was more like an, _Oh. He wants me to go to Hogsmeade with him._

_Yeah, no biggie._

Still, Lily was surprised that she was able to muster an answer. She was even more surprised at the enthusiasm with which she had replied. The tingling in her body had subsided, and all of a sudden sweaty hands were not so much of an issue. She beamed before tipping her head to the side and saying, "Sure. I'd love to."

* * *

**Thanks to Juricon for beta-reading this and trying to inspire (through some very... interesting methods) to write more when I was about to die of fatigue at 12:30 am! I was like, "PLEASE can I just finish the chapter now at 1400 words?" and she was like "NOOOO don't you dare, YOU HAVE TO GET AT LEAST 3000. You'll feel more satisfied, and your readers will be happy."**

And you know what? I can't speak for you, but boy, am I happy now! Especially since I ended up trumping my target by 200 words. xD

~ Emily xoxo

P.S. Pride and Prejudice and all references I did belongs to Jane Austen.


	18. Brush On Her Cheek

**Sorry sorry sorry SORRY for the long wait! :S Really, I have no excuse. It's just pure holiday laziness combined with a bit of writer's block. Sigh. Please forgive me. :)**

**Thank you to all my reviewers mollylolly, Tribot, ilovemybestfriends, Ari, cerdogordo, KITFACE, WobblyJelly, Dozy Dora, Vegetarian and NOOOOOO (xD)! The support is FANTABULOUSLY AMAZING. :D **

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Wake Up – Chapter 18**

Lily was stressing.

She found herself in the middle of her bed, amongst many other objects – the emptied contents of her entire wardrobe being some of them. It was Saturday morning, _Hogsmeade _morning, and she still had not decided on an outfit.

Now usually, this would not be an issue. Usually Lily would wake up whenever she fancied, slip on the first things she saw when she opened her wardrobe, and rock up late to Hogsmeade whenever she felt like it. No problems there – she never had a date (aside from that one disastrous occasion with Amos Diggory in Fourth Year), just shopped around a little and met Emmeline and Alice at the Three Broomsticks for lunch for a nice hot mug of butterbeer.

Obviously she couldn't do that this time. Because she was going out with _Potter. _Because her stupid, fat traitor of a mouth couldn't resist that shining smile and blurt out an affirmative answer without evening thinking it over for a few seconds.

Not that her response would have been any different.

Lily's head buzzed. Every item of clothing was either unsuitable for the weather or too suggestive for Potter's dirty mind. And they all made her seem shorter and fatter. Being only five feet and five inches tall, she did _not _want to be looking any stouter than she already was. James was five foot ten! Lily groaned. The woes of dating a tall and good-looking guy...

But it wasn't a date.

And James certainly was not good-looking in any way. Even if he was the most sought-after bachelor in Hogwarts.

Nevertheless, she wanted to look nice for the day out. Decent, at least. Quickly falling into a state of panic, Lily jumped off her bed, sending several tank tops down with her, and practically launched herself upon Emmeline. "Em!" she whispered, shaking her friend's body vigorously. There was a squirm, and grunt. Then nothing. _"Em!"_

"What?" grumbled the brunette, moving to drearily rub her eyes awake. She groaned, regarding Lily with a squint.

Lily bit her lip. "Uhh... you know that sweater you were wearing yesterday?"

"What, the one that you said made me look like a mouldy lump of grass?"

"I never said that!" Lily hissed.

"Yeah yeah, Pinocchio."

"Are you calling my nose long?"

Emmeline shut her eyes and sank into her pillow again. "Whatever. Wake me up when you get to the point," she mumbled.

Hmph. Some friend she was, deserting people at their most dire and needy of times.

"No, _Em! _Don't you dare go to sleep on me again!" Lily's voice rose to a frustrated growl. She placed both her hands on Emmeline's doona-covered back and rolled her violently to the edge of the bed. "Don't you DARE! I need to-"

"Oi, cool it!" Emmeline exclaimed, wide awake now. Grumbling, she disentangled herself from her doona cocoon and crawled out of bed. "Fine, what do you want?" She regarded her crabbily, hair sticking out at all ends.

"Are you wearing that sweater tomorrow?"

"Dunno. Why?"

Lily cringed inwardly, fiddling with the ends of her hair. "I... I was wondering whether I could borrow it. Only if you don't need it," she added hastily.

Emmeline smirked as she spared a glance at Lily's bed.

The doors of her wardrobe had been flung open in a rush, and every article of clothing – tops, bottoms, dresses and all – lay sprawled all over the edges of her bed. A collection of metal coat hangers had been discarded carelessly all over the floor.

Needless to say, it looked pretty bad.

"Having a bit of trouble trying to impress Jamsey boy there?"

"No!" Lily replied in outrage, quickly hiding her burning cheeks. "It's just that if you weren't _needing it _then I could... you know, just for something different," she sniffed. "And I thought you would support me, what with you always complaining that I'm not girly enough or something. But obviously _not._"

Emmeline's eyes danced about mischievously. They were still swollen and puffy from just having woken up – it would have been quite a comical sight... if Lily hadn't been at the brunt end of her mocking and taunting.

Because, knowing Emmeline, it was bound to happen.

"So," she said, crossing her arms out in front of her. "This... this being 'girly' thing has absolutely nothing to do with your date with James?"

Of course she would suspect that.

"No," replied Lily in a monotone.

How dare she even suggest such a thing. Stupid girl.

"And do you think James would decide to cancel the date if you looked ahh... wide?"

"It's not a date," Lily snapped.

Emmeline ignored her, continuing. "Why do you want to impress him, anyway? Thought you didn't like him. You never cared about how you looked in the past," she said, smirking again.

Lily narrowed her eyes and snatched the sweater hanging off Emmeline's bedside table. "You're such an insufferable git," she scowled. She made her way to the bathroom, attempting to reduce the childlike stomps to a bare minimum.

Because really, childlike stomps weren't on the agenda. Immature name-calling and greasies had a much better effect.

She turned around upon reaching the doorway. Emmeline had already collapsed back face-first into bed, head lolling down the edge of a pillow. Lily thought that she could indistinctly hear the words "You love him", followed by an unladylike snigger, before her friend began to snore again.

Lily scowled and slammed the door shut. She checked her watch. It was six fifteen in the morning.

* * *

When Lily had agreed on the spur of the moment to spend her Hogsmeade weekend with James, this was not what she had expected. A date with James – yes, she could condition her mind to accept the notion. But a date with Sirius Black?

Seriously?

Lily was sitting at a table by herself at The Three Broomsticks, tuning out to the loud chatter and conversation by the crowd surrounding her. She absently strummed her fingers against her knee to a song by The Weird Sisters which was playing at a relatively soft volume amidst the rowdy atmosphere of the pub. She was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans and black high-heeled boots. Despite the boots' acute discomfort when they sank in if she stepped too hard in the snow, she was in desperate need of the height that they gave her. She would _not _look bad next to James.

And of course, she had put on Emmeline's dark green sweater. It was made of thin cashmere wool, hugging her in all the right places and creating an illusion that even she had been pleased about. The top just did so much for her (imaginary) killer curves. Lily would have gladly stared and grinned at herself in the mirror for an extensive period of time, if it wasn't so... creepy and self-obsessive.

But she had to admit, it was a pretty good outfit.

James walked in and, within a few seconds, located her position. He looked at her and paled instantly, jaw dropping down in a very non-subtle manner.

Yes, definitely a good outfit.

That was just the reaction she had been hoping for. Life was good. Splendid, even. Lily smirked and lounged back in her seat again...

... just in time for Sirius Black to emerge out from behind James, carrying that arrogant and snarky grin of his.

_What _had Potter been thinking?

"Good morning, Evans," Sirius greeted, bending forward into a gallant bow. "Nice to see you bright and eager for your date with Prongsie this morning."

"And you as well, apparently," Lily said scathingly. She turned her glare on James and thrust a rude finger towards his best mate. "What's he doing here?"

James gave her a soft smile and pulled over a chair to sit down beside her. "You look beautiful," he murmured, leaning in slightly to create a more intimate space between them. He looked so happy to see her.

Lily's glare dissolved within half a second.

"And as for Padfoot," he said in a louder tone. He paused for a moment, lips pressed together as if fighting hard to prevent laughter. "As for Padfoot, I uhh... thought that since you had agreed to go out with me, you should get to know the real deal." He thrust a thumb back at Sirius. "Because he never leaves. Ever. And you'll have to get used to that when we get married and have children-"

"WOAH wait a sec!" spluttered Lily. _"What?"_

James stared back at her with an innocent expression. "What do you mean? Just when we're married and all... nothing more to it," he said offhandedly.

Lily's mind had gone blank again.

_Oh Evans. You are one funny bird. _

"Shut up, Black," she snapped back.

"Hey Pads?" James asked with a thoughtful frown. "Do you reckon Moony would want a new broom for his birthday? Because his has been pretty battered since that day I threw it out of the window and you charmed it to fly towards the Whomping Willow..."

It was utterly pathetic, but Lily couldn't get rid of what James had said before to her out of her head. She hated to admit it, but it was kind of appealing. Married. Married to James. _Children, _even. She imagined little James Potters running around the house and smiled. But children meant that they must be having sex –

An image of half-naked James Potter materialised in her mind. Lily froze.

Because by Merlin, it was_ hot._

Jolting her out of the daydream, Sirius' ear-splitting guffaws suddenly pierced at her ears and rumbled throughout the pub. Everyone in the pub had quietened down significantly in initial shock at the outburst. They regarded him with quizzical, slightly apprehensive expressions. But Sirius did not stop. He rocked back and forth in his chair, slapping his knee every so often as another bout of laughter came over him.

And then it all came crashing down to Lily.

He was laughing at _her._

His right hand was shoved in his pocket. Evidently holding the _rock. _Meaning that he had heard all of Lily's thoughts concerning her sexual desires towards James.

_Prongs will be amused. Very amused indeed. _

Her eyes widened as she slapped a hand over her mouth. All the blood drained out from her face. She looked at him in panic. "Please," she pleaded. "Oh God no. Is there any way I can convince you to-"

"No, Evans. Not a chance."

Oh fucking _shit. _

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Prongs?" Sirius asked cheerfully, whacking James on the back from behind. "Come with me to pick out Moony's present, will you?"

Crap. He was going to tell James about what Lily had seen. Or imagined, to be more specific.

She was doomed.

James frowned momentarily and put down his fork. He looked at Lily. "You don't mind, do you?" he said to her sheepishly.

Lily swallowed the rest of her potatoes. "N-no," she stuttered, not entirely meeting his gaze. "You go."

"You sure?"

"Yeah no really it's fine!"

"Okay then." Using the tip of finger, James pushed his glasses up (Lily's world was lost for those few moments with that positively _adorable _action) and stood up, making a loud screeching noise with the chair as he did so. Lily winced at the sound, squeezing her eyes shut.

Then she felt a pair of lips on her cheek.

"Bye then," said a husky whisper, its hot breath tickling her ear.

... Oh.

Lily's breath caught, and a thousand thoughts raced through her mind in that one instant. They were so soft, cool as the lake but as hot as a burning fire as well, a light _brush_ that ignited her insides and set goosebumps crawling all over her face and neck.

The effect this boy was having on her was ridiculous. Goosebumps on her face? Really, Lily?

Upon feeling the contact Lily immediately snapped her eyes open again, but he had already gone. She let out the breath she had been holding in – frustration, disappointment? – and gently brushed her fingers against the spot that he—

James had just kissed her.

Lily stared longingly at the empty doorway, biting her lip.

And she wanted... more.

* * *

**For any of you who might me curious as to how I'm faring with the next chapter i.e. how long more it will take me to update, visit my LiveJournal. The link is on my profile. ****Thank you to you all who have supported me through this whole thing! **

**Just in case anyone's curious, I'm quite certain that there will be about eight chapters of the story left - it should be finished by the end of January. **

**~ Emily xoxo**


	19. Parrot

**Hey all! So it's 2 am down here in Australia. I think I just spent three hours in a row after getting this MASSIVE surge of inspiration (I had this god-awful writer's block for a few days) writing this chapter. I did promise more regular updates, after all. ;) **

**Thanks heaps to all those who reviewed. I do love you oh-so-greatly. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 19**

"Hey," said James, tugging at her arm. He led her in the direction of a small crowded shop, alive with decorations of multiple colours. "Let's go to Zonko's. I've got to stock up on some stuff."

"Okay," Lily replied. She couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. Sirius had left a while ago, leaving the two to roam the streets of Hogsmeade alone. All embarrassing incidents from The Three Broomsticks had been forgotten and soon she had begun to relax around James. It wasn't hard. He was really a great person to be around.

James looked surprised at her admission. "You said yes," he remarked aloud in wonder. "You actually said yes to me stirring havoc around Hogwarts."

"Well what am I, your mother?" she teased.

"Pretty much," he grinned. He walked over to an aisle packed with rubbery objects with a balloon-like shape. He picked one up and held it between his thumb and forefinger, eyeing it warily. "What are these?" he said. "I've never seen them before."

Lily sniggered. "You don't know what those are?"

"No."

"_Seriously?"_

"No!" said James again, baffled.

"Oh my God," laughed Lily. She snatched the thing out of his hands, blowing it up with the expertise of a veteran pranker. "This, my friend, is a whoopee cushion. Watch and learn." After the balloon was ready, she paused with a sheepish expression. "I don't really have anywhere to do it on."

James cocked an eyebrow. "You call yourself good?" he said flatly.

The competitive streak in Lily flared up, and she narrowed her eyes. With a haughty "Hmph", she marched off to the counter and gently tapped the shoulder of an old man with bushy grey eyebrows, who was presumably the owner of this shop.

Bushy Eyebrows spun around violently, sending Lily into temporary shock. "What do you want?" he roared, regarding both Lily and James with suspicious glares.

"He's the shop owner's brother," James murmured from beside her. "Nasty thing. Don't want to get on his bad side. Got quite feisty when Sirius and I tried to prank him with his own products."

Lily took in this information in silence, never loosening her gentle grip around the whoopee cushion which was hidden from view behind her back. She smiled angelically at Bushy Eyebrows and thrust out her hand. "Lily Evans, sir," she greeted him pleasantly. "Head Girl at Hogwarts. Nice to meet you."

Bushy Eyebrows' expression softened slightly as he took her hand.

Lily straightened her sweater before continuing. "I'm conducting a survey on the effect of Hogsmeade trips by Hogwarts students on the businesses around his area. Would you be so kind to help me by answering these questions?"

"This had better be good," whispered James into her ear. "He's getting suspicious, I can tell."

But Bushy Eyebrows wasn't suspicious, or if he was, he didn't show it. Instead, he gave Lily a large white smile – teeth and all – and rose up from his chair. "Lily Evans! I've heard great things about you. What would you like to know?" He took no notice of James, completely ignoring the loud snort that had followed his statement.

Lily's smile faltered for a moment. "Uhh..." she laughed nervously, scratching a non-existent itch at the back of her neck. "The first question is... what kinds of products have excelled in your sales during these umm... Hogsmeade trips?"

"That has absolutely nothing to do with the overall effect of businesses you were talking about," James whispered again, whilst Bushy Eyebrows began to walk around the shop, taking note of several products with an exaggerated "Hmm!" and two furrowed eyebrows.

"Shut up!" Lily hissed back. Those whispers were doing some crazy things to her ear, and honestly, she had had _enough_ of the rudding tingles already.

Bushy Eyebrows returned. "So," he said enthusiastically, holding up a large variety of objects between his two hands. James stared at them in a sort of venerating manner, mouth slightly agape. "There are the dungbombs of course, which have always been a favourite, but what have been becoming _really_ popular recently are the nose-biting teacups..."

Lily nodded understandingly as the old man continued to ramble on and hold up various products. She was becoming slightly disturbed at some of their names.

"...the profits of the screaming yoyos have risen almost exponentially! They used to in fact be quadratic, which was quite concerning for the Zonko's business over time..."

"Oh dear Lord," James whispered. "He's really ruining it for me."

"_Stop whispering!" _Lily snapped. Bushy Eyebrows stopped abruptly. "Sorry about him," she apologised, thrusting a thumb at James.

Bushy Eyebrows gave James an extra-intense long glare, and continued with his profits speech.

Lily had almost forgotten what she had come here for before James gave her a sharp nudge on the ribs. Still smiling and nodding at the old man, she carefully inched her back towards his chair and dropped the blown-up cushion down on it.

James smirked, but the old man didn't notice anything. "...and I have some documents here which illustrate this very fact!" he remarked loudly, all of a sudden pushing through the two students to rummage through a pile of papers behind his desk.

Lily's face paled. She hadn't had a chance to conceal the cushion before his eyes would pass over the chair.

Bushy Eyebrows turned back to her and smoothed the remaining strands of his grey hair at the back of his head. Lily heard James shudder at the resemblance it had to his old habits, and smiled secretively before turning her attention back to Bushy Eyebrows again. "You see," he said, pointing at the maximum point of a graph titled _Profits for Belch Powder, 1976, _it rises until March _but then sinks!"_

By this time Lily had began to be slightly frightened by his enthusiastic ramblings. It was nothing against him, really – he was just too number-passionate for her liking. She glanced at her watch in mock surprise. "Oh, twelve o'clock already! I'm very sorry," she apologised to Bushy Eyebrows, who looked quite scandalised at being interrupted at such a vital point in his speech. "I really must be getting on now. Thank you so much for your help though, it was great. I hope all goes well." She smiled, grabbed James' arm, and left without allowing him to say another word.

Ten seconds later, they heard a loud belching fart, followed by a harsh voice that roared, "BLOODY TEENAGERS!" With a glance at each other, the two simultaneously burst into hysterical laughter.

"I hope Bushy Eyebrows wasn't too angry," Lily said with a degree of forlorn after she had caught her breath. "I was growing quite fond of him."

"Bushy Eyebrows?" James asked, still grinning feverishly from before.

"Yeah, the old man at the shop. He had really bushy eyebrows, didn't you notice?"

"No," replied James. "Do you just notice these things? Bushy eyebrows?"

"No!" she exclaimed, hiding her burning face.

"Do _I _have bushy eyebrows?"

Lily chose not to reply to this remark. She had admitted begrudgingly to herself a long while back that James' eyebrows were perfect – boyish and masculine, yet so... _refined_ at the same time. But she didn't want it to get into his head.

After all, who would want eyebrows in their head?

"But you know what I did notice?" James remarked. "His teeth. They were actually so white that I think I could see my reflection in them."

"Are _my _teeth white?" imitated Lily, flashing him a grin that exposed all of her pearl whites.

James appeared to be thrown off balance for a few moments. "Yeah, they are, actually," he said ruefully.

The atmosphere had grown unnaturally tense. Lily forced a smile through it and said brightly, "So where to next?"

"Where do _you _want to go?"

"Bookshop," she replied promptly, spinning around to make her way towards the relatively empty shop down the path.

"The bookshop?" echoed James incredulously.

"Yeah!" Lily insisted, pushing the door open with a loud creak. "I need to get another copy of _The Standard Book of Spells."_

"Another?" James repeated.

"Yes, another," she snapped. "Stop being such a bloody parrot!"

"Sorry Ma'am," he grinned, throwing her a small salute. He winked. "Sometimes I just can't get rid of my animalistic instincts."

Lily swallowed hard.

Once they had filed into the bookshop and Lily was running her finger down the Table of Contents of several different editions of the book, James announced that he was bored and slipped away for several minutes. He returned soon with a thin rectangular picture story book titled _Babbity Rabbity: The Places I Go. _Lily fought to hide a smirk. "What's that?" she remarked with disdain.

James ignored her and instead flipped to a page at random. _Babbity Rabbity _was, apparently, quite badly illustrated. A large grey rabbit with a high nose and cheerful yellow buck teeth stared back at her from the page. "THAT'S YOU!" James exclaimed with glee, jabbing at the rabbit's torso.

Lily stared.

James then flipped to the next page. The same rabbit had gone to purchase a wand, it appeared. The shop it had walked into was titled in scrawly writing: OLLIVANDER'S – 4 RABBITS ONLY! 'Ollivander', or the rabbit that was supposed to be Ollivander, was equally as unsightly as the previous rabbit. He too was grey, although a much lighter shade, and had the same pig-like nose and protruding front teeth. James pointed at it. "THAT'S YOU!" he said again loudly.

"Shh!" Lily giggled, shutting the book over his hands as several annoyed wizards glared at them with annoyance.

"Don't deny your true identity," whispered James to her in a low tone, walking with her towards the counter where Lily placed the fifth edition of _The Standard Book of Spells_ on the counter. She didn't bother to tell him to stop whispering this time. He obviously didn't listen, and at any rate, she had grown to like the sensation that it gave her.

"Three galleons, thank you," a middle-aged woman said as she glanced at Lily through thinly framed silver spectacles.

Lily reached to find the correct change before she felt a pair of hands pushing her arms down. She looked up to see James' insistent face. "I've got it," he said, digging into his pocket.

"No," she protested. "I want to pay."

"What kind of crappy date do you think I am?"

His mention of the word 'date' shut Lily up. Pleased, James proceeded to slap three gold coins on the counter and grab the book on their way out. "Thanks," he called out over his shoulder.

The woman behind the cashier chuckled at the dumbfounded expression on Lily's face. "Bye, dearies," she replied merrily.

James pulled at her arm, leading her down an alleyway to the right. "Come on," he murmured. "I want to show you something."

After a good while, weaving through several tangled bends, they reached an old shelter of an empty shop. Snow had accumulated around its sides, giving it a cave-like sort of feel.

"That's all?" Lily asked, a little disappointed.

"Yeah," said James softly. "We used to go here all the time when we were young... Sirius, Remus, Peter, me. When things were shit, we just escaped through the passageways and holed ourselves up here until we felt like going back."

"Oh," she replied, looking at the shelter again. "What happened?"

"Dunno. We just sort of... grew out of it, I guess."

Slowly, a grin spread itself across Lily's face. "Not _yet_," she clarified, taking several large strides till she was jus standing beneath it. James followed her, a similar expression lighting up upon his face. "I mean, we're never too old for anything, aren't we?"

"Sure," he smiled, and sat down against the wet stone wall, tugging on her wrist to indicate that she should do the same.

Lily didn't know how long they sat there for – perhaps it was an hour, perhaps it was five. All she knew was that the time they spent together simply flew past in the blink of an eye as they laughed about whatever train of thought popped into their heads. It was great; she experienced one of those rare moments where she felt entirely relaxed in his presence. With his pathetic jokes and untroubled voice, James had stopped running his hand through his hair and instead used it to intertwine itself around hers. She let him. It felt nice.

Lily absentmindedly glanced at her watch. "Oh _shit," _she swore, immediately moving to stand up. Her legs were sore from sitting down for so long.

James frowned. "What's the time?"

"We have to go," said Lily regretfully. "We have to-"

"What's the time?"

Lily shaded her burning cheeks. "Five thirty," she muttered.

"_Five thirty?" _James jumped up. He seemed much more pleased than he really should have about the fact that they had broken curfew. "We've been talking for more than four hours?"

"Yes," she snapped, quickening her pace. "Stop sounding so goddamned smug about it! We shouldn't be breaking school rules, we might get in trouble."

"We won't get in trouble, Lily," he explained, catching up to her. "We're Heads! And anyway, you can just say you were doing that survey thing..."

A sharp glower from Lily soon shut him up. James smirked.

They continued the walk in silence. Lily was already beginning to wish that she hadn't worn a watch to the trip so that they could've stayed there together, brushing off the time without a worry. Then they could've simply lied their way out when they got back.

"Hey Lil?" James' voice interrupted her thoughts.

Lily turned her head to look at him. She took a sharp intake of breath. James gazed at her with a soft, almost brotherly expression. The dark red beanie he was wearing was pulled tight down his ears, hiding the unruly tendrils of his raven-black hair. The tips of his eyelashes were lined with a thin layer of snow.

It looked positively _adorable._

She certainly wasn't feeling any sisterly feelings towards him at that moment.

"W-we have to go," she stuttered, moving faster in the snow. The high heels on her boots made it almost impossible for her to travel quickly. She was beginning to regret wearing them; they were such a pain...

"I really like your boots," said James. Lily's heart leapt. In a deeper, more amused voice, he continued, "They do seem to be causing you an awful lot of difficulty walking through the snow though."

Precisely at that moment, Lily's right boot found a ditch and sank half a metre into the ground. Her left boot soon followed.

Speak of the devil.

James stopped by her side but made no move to help her up. He was finding the situation all too amusing. "Oh dear!" he exclaimed in mock-surprise, crossing his arms comfortably at his chest.

The snow was beginning to soak through Lily's jeans, freezing her calves. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you want to help me up, maybe?"

"Nope."

"Doesn't that come under the category of a 'crappy date'?"

James tipped his head in contemplation. "Probably," he considered. "But this is far more entertaining."

Lily snorted and tried to lift her leg up to crawl out of the hole she had created. But before she could make any progress, James' voice interrupted her.

"So, Sirius said something quite interesting about you to me this morning."

Oh _fuck._

Lily fell back into the hole.

The snow was now biting into her calves. She couldn't worry about that though, she thought in frustration, because James was on the verge of _burying her in mortification _anyway and there was absolutely nothing that she could do.

Lily chose her next words carefully in a desperate attempt to come across as a pure, wrongly accused innocent.

Because really, what she had done was a crime. A full-fledged, punishable crime by the _Statute of Conduct of Lily Evans._

"He was lying, I swear. I would never, _never_ imagine you in your underwear. Cross my heart, hope to die. Like who does that, seriously? No one does that nowadays. And it's not like I have anything to _base _that image off... apart from all those times I've spied on you after Quidditch..."

As she was speaking, Hot James popped into her mind again.

Crap.

"That's like uhh... gross and a violation of privacy..."

She really should have taken those lying lessons from Emmeline.

James took a momentary glance at Lily's sunken foot before returning his gaze to her red face. He cocked an eyebrow before stating flatly, "Sirius told me that you think I smell like watermelon, Lily."

Her jaw dropped.

Watermelon. _Watermelon._

She was going to kill Sirius Black. Provided that she was still alive after this gruelling ordeal.

"I... I..." she stuttered nervously.

James offered an outstretched hand to help her out of the ditch. Lily took it, instantly heating up at his touch.

Oh for God's sake, it was _winter. _Couldn't the seasons fare in her favour just once?

James smiled again as Lily walked on carefully with him, strategically averting her face from his view. "But what were you talking about before?" he asked. "I don't understand. Why would Sirius tell me that you were imagining me uhh... au naturel?"

Lily stopped and stared at him with her mouth wide open, distinctly resembling a panicked fish out of water.

They had reached the main street now. The evening was buzzing alive as it neared dinnertime. No Hogwarts students were in sight – they had all left to the castle more than an hour ago.

The voice she heard from James next was soft, barely above a whisper and difficult to discern amidst the happy talk and conversation of those around them. But simply because he was James and she was Lily, she had learned to hear his voice sharp and clear no matter how loud or soft it was.

She had to. That same voice had laughed, lied, pleaded, _finally _come clean...

...called her _love..._

"That's a bit dirty of you, isn't it?"

Lily was taken by such surprise that her wobbly knees turned into jelly the very moment those words reached her ears. She stumbled, sinking into the snow yet _again_.

She swore.

Hearing the word 'dirty' whilst those images were still floating around in her head was _not _proving to help in the slightest.

This time, James did not help her up. Instead he squatted down so that their faces were now level, with two feet planted sturdily in the snow. He, after all, did not wear high-heeled boots to Hogsmeade in an attempt to please the girl he would be going out with.

Lily tried to speak, but found that her vocal chords had dried up in shock. Because at that moment, James Potter looked more attractive and goddamned _perfect _than ever.

She did notice one thing though: his head was still ego-inflated. He was also still an attention-loving fool at heart, and his immature and mischievous ways would most likely never cease to exist.

But there was more, so much more. Both of them knew it.

However, for the time being that cheeky grin was back, and James' eyes positively shone with laughter. He winked. "Sex?" he said softly. "Isn't it a bit too early to think about that?"

Bastard. He knew.

A retort was on the tip of Lily's tongue when all of a sudden James' face zoomed closer, now hovering just inches away from hers.

Her heart stopped. "Hey there," she whispered.

The light winter breeze swept several strands of hair back against his beanie. James blinked slowly, displacing some of those miniscule dots of snow scattered on the tips of his eyelashes. They fell down to his cheeks instead, light and weightless as air. Lily fought the impulse to wipe them away gently with her finger.

"Hey there," he breathed back.

Parrot.

And then he kissed her.

* * *

**Yeah... I was actually planning to have James kiss Lily three chapters later, but I suck at following plans, as you all know. xD I'm super busy in the next few days, so hopefully the next chapter should come just after the weekend. DEFINITELY within a week. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that this chapter is EXACTLY 3333 words. Maybe the next should be 3434. ;)**

**By the way, (completely and totally random), Juricon - my regular beta-reader - posted a video of her and I performing a soundtrack piece called Never Meant to Belong. If you don't have a strong adversity to the piano and the violin, it would be great if you listened to it. The link is on my profile. :)**

**ILOVEREVIEWSNOMNOMNOM.**

**~ Emily xoxo**


	20. The Seventh Year Boys' Dormitory

**I do apologise so much for the long wait! Blame the utterly exhausting and tiring work. A _huge _thanks to my reviewers Lucia Rayne, cerdogordo, Mary, KCorra, Lixie87, mollylolly, ilovemybestfriends, paulakrys, Tribot, love-cdc and JA Hastings, and also all the people who favourited and alerted. You guys are just great. :) And thank you to Juricon, my fantabulous beta-reader!**

* * *

**Wake Up – Chapter 20:**

As James and Lily filed into the Gryffindor Common Room, James flashed her a teasing smile. "So you're absolutely sure that you don't want to go up there with me?" he asked, gesturing up to the Seventh Year boys' dormitory.

"Yes," snapped Lily, cheeks flaming. She immediately released her tight grip on his hand and took off to her dormitory immediately. Her heart palpitated one thousand beats a minute, as if she had just sprinted several laps around the Quidditch pitch.

Behind her, James chuckled softly, "Maybe some other day, then."

Lily froze mid-step before regaining her composure and continuing up the stairs.

"Oi, Lilykins!" a cheerful voice shouted from the back corner of the room. Emmeline was laughing, flipping through the latest edition of Witch Weekly on her bed. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun and she wore her golden snitch print baby blue pyjamas.

Lily walked down the row of beds to Emmeline and sat down at the corner of her bed. "Why are you wearing pyjamas?" she asked. "We just got back."

Emmeline stopped halfway through flipping a page, cocking an eyebrow. "_You _just got back," she clarified. "The rest of the school have been back here for a couple of hours already. _Some _of us aren't lucky enough to be able to use the old 'Head Duties Excuse', you know." Lily glanced away sheepishly.

Emmeline shut her magazine and sat upright, rocking slightly on her bed. "So," she said, anticipation heavy in her voice. "How was the great James Potter date?"

_Date. _There was that word again.

Lily fought hard to maintain her composure. "Fine," she managed to make out in a carefree tone. She picked at an embroidered flower sewn onto the duvet cover. "It was good… fun."

"_Good?" _Emmeline echoed in an appalled tone. _"Fun?"_

Why was everybody being such parrots today?

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Well, what did you expect? Me trying to beat his face to a pulp?"

"Well, I wouldn't be surprised," she admitted, "but I was thinking more along the lines of you-staring-at-him-and-having-a-great-epiphany-and-sharing-a-passionate-snog."

Lily's head was now throbbing.

_Passionate._

Snog. Snog. _Kiss._

The moment his lips had pressed to hers, he encircled his arms around her waist and hoisted her out of the hole that she had created. Within a matter of seconds, her stubborn mouth had yielded to James' charm, utterly needy and shameless. His soft lips moved gently over hers at first, and then more hungrily as electric sparks surged alive between them. He moved one of his hands from the small of her back, cupping her face and pulling her in closer.

It was scorching, sparkling, _magical. _Fire burned down to the very tips of her toes...

Yes, if there was one thing that she could say with a degree of certainty about James, it was that he was a damn good snogger. Even a chaste kiss on her jaw was enough to send her mind spinning. Her knees shook dangerously as his tongue slid quickly down her throat, igniting her insides, with each hungry kiss leaving a burning trail of desire behind.

She gasped suddenly, clinging onto him desperately in fear that she might fall. James pulled back teasingly for several moments, laughing a throaty laugh before he closed the space between them once more. She was all too eager, moaning rather ridiculously...

"Lil?"

"What?" Lily was jolted out of her trance, closing her lips abruptly as she realised in horror that her mouth had been hanging open the entire time.

"What happened?" Emmeline asked impatiently. "You just went dead quiet for a couple of minutes."

Lily bit her lip. "Umm..."

"What happened with James? Was he nice?"

Lily closed her eyes and exhaled loudly. "Well, you see," she said. "We kind of, uhh..."

Emmeline glared at her. "It's my duty as one of your best mates to know these things. Spit it out. What did you do? Where did you-"

"We kissed," Lily blurted out.

Emmeline's eyes widened. She stared.

Lily focused her vision on the large full-length mirror in front of her. Her hair was in tangled waves and one eye had been smudged with black mascara. Her lips were swollen and her face was beetroot red, giving her the distinct resemblance of an overripe tomato.

However, she looked brighter and livelier than she had in days. Months, actually.

The door burst open. "Sorry, guys!" exclaimed Alice's voice as she rushed in. "Just got back from the library with Fr-"

"Alice," Emmeline interjected.

"Yeah, what?"

Silence. Then, "Our friend here just had her first little kiss with Jamesy-boy today."

Oh, please. 'Little' was hardly the word to describe it.

Alice froze. She looked at Lily properly for the first time since she had entered the room. "What?" she whispered.

Honestly! Was it really that hard for her friends to believe that she was capable of showing – God forbid – _compassion?_

For a boy? How outrageous!

Lily shifted uneasily in her spot. "You guys are making it to be some huge deal or something," she said evasively. "People kiss all the time."

Emmeline had recovered from her initial shock and grinned, falling back onto her bed. She tucked two hands behind her head. "People do kiss all the time," she agreed. "But not you and James. You guys didn't even really have a friendship of sorts before it happened, did you? Just launched straight into it! Not that I'm against that or anything... Merlin, by all means go ahead. It's just quite strange, that's all."

"James and I have a _friendship_," grumbled Lily, kicking at a piece of parchment on the ground.

Alice gave a derisive snort. "You didn't even care about whether he died or not just two days ago."

"Shut up," Lily snapped, guilt tugging at her stomach. She marched up to the mirror, wiping off the mascara below her eye and flattening down her unruly hair. "How do I look?" she asked, spinning around to face them.

Alice smiled. "Great."

She prayed that Alice was speaking the truth and not just trying to be a consoling friend. Otherwise, this would turn out bad.

It was going to turn out bad, anyway. Of course it would. She just couldn't stop herself.

Blinking rapidly, Lily strode calmly over to the door which led out to the Common Room. "Okay, thanks. Bye!"

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Emmeline called out, craning her neck.

She answered without even thinking. "The Seventh Year boys' dormitory."

Then she stopped dead on her feet.

No. She did not just tell her friends that she would be visiting the boys' dormitory. That was almost equivalent to admitting that she played the part of James' Number One Slag!

Though she couldn't really blame them for that.

Silently, Lily wished that she were still at Hogsmeade. That way her boots could sink her into the snow. And this time, she didn't want anybody pulling her out.

Emmeline and Alice, being the kind people that they were, did not react to this comment in such an adverse fashion. Alice took it in with a straight face. Emmeline simply nodded her head and said, "Ahh, okay," as if Lily had just told her that she was going to the library.

See? This was why she kept them around.

"Just... checking stuff about... Prefect rounds tonight!" Lily stammered, mentally forcing the two ends of her mouth to stretch up into a faltering smile.

"Mmhmm. See you."

Lily hurried out without another word. She did not bother to attempt to explain herself further for two main reasons. The first being that she didn't want to stand in the same room as them for any longer. Regardless of their noble appearances of indifference, she was on the verge of exploding with embarrassment just _imagining _how whipped they must think she was over James. (Which she kind of was.)

But the second reason was the big thing. She could not get anything about James Potter – annoying, handsome and rowdy boy he was – out of her mind. His room, in particular. She knew that he had suggested her going up to the dormitory with him as a joke, but she really was quite curious as to what it looked like.

They said that curiosity killed the cat.

But she wasn't a cat, so it was all good.

Lily exhaled deeply as she reached the stairwell leading up to the Seventh Year boys' dormitories. She took several purposeful steps up, mentally rehearsing the excuse she would give for her unexpected presence.

_Prefect duties. There's been a clash tonight; Julie Highlett has detention. I was thinking that perhaps Marlene or Dorcas could replace her..._

As she reached the top, her hands became sweaty and the wobbly knees had returned, much to her chagrin. Lily was beginning to regret her decision. What honestly possessed her to visit James in his _dormitory? _What would they all think of her? Sirius and Peter she didn't much worry about, but Remus... would he think that she was some desperate slag? No sane girl would go up to the boys' dormitories for any other reason. They had plenty of time to see whoever they wished in between classes and during meals.

But James...

Lily smiled to herself. Screw it. _James _would be there, and _James _would be happy to see her. And that was all that really mattered.

Keeping this in mind, she twisted the hard wooden knob, opening the door to find...

Nothing.

No one was there.

Lily took several long moments to allow this information to fully sink in. The Marauders were probably out executing a prank. Frank was... she didn't know where Frank was. But the most important thing that she needed to know, and that she _did _know, was that she had access to the entirety of the boys' dormitory. And nobody could see her.

By Godric, cue the celebration! She could be Lily Evans! The _nosy _Lily Evans that she truly was deep down.

_Perfect._

To her disappointment, the boys' dormitory was surprisingly normal. Aside from the pyramid-shaped stack of condom packets on Sirius' bedside table, there was nothing too out of the ordinary. However, instead of the usual fruity scent that hit her when she walked in, this dormitory had a sort of musky boyish smell to it. Lily wrinkled her nose as she shut the door quietly, venturing in further with quiet feet.

The layout of the room was incredibly similar to the girls' dormitory. The beds were situated to the left, with a large chest at the foot of each. There was a closed door at the centre of the far wall, directly in front of Lily, which presumably led to the bathroom.

James' bed was the second nearest to the entrance. Lily had picked it out immediately upon entering. How could she not? It had immediately struck her attention, being the one with the Quidditch posters, Quidditch bed sheets, Quidditch broom on the ground, and Quidditch_..._ book!

Book? _Book?_

But James never talked about Quidditch to her when she was around!

Scowling, Lily made her way to rummage through the rest of his belongings, trying to locate something else that contradicted her knowledge of him.

She stopped midway through lifting the lid to his chest, feeling slightly guilty. What she was doing was a bit... stalker-like, wasn't it? And a complete disrespect of his privacy. No, she wouldn't do this. She couldn't do this.

Then something cold and smooth brushed against her fingers, and Nosy Lily Evans came rushing back to her.

Well, she couldn't help it – it was in her blood.

Pushing several folded shirts to the side (the discovery that James actually folded them had her extremely impressed), Lily uncovered two wooden photo frames. She handled them with a feather-light grip, blinking her eyes slowly.

The first photo was of his family in a large open field, taken some years ago. Fourth Year, perhaps. James' mother radiated energy through those striking hazel eyes. Her arm was tightly clasped around James, who was smiling and laughing, looking up at his father to the right. With that effortlessly messy hair and glasses slightly askew, he resembled the perfect idealised teenage male model.

Lily smirked. Petunia would kill to see him. Vernon wouldn't be too happy seeing her torn between the sultry godliness that was James and her loathing for _freaks. _Lily also noticed that within his grasp there was a shiny new broomstick – _Cleansweep Six,_ it read on the handle. She placed the photo aside and moved onto the next frame.

Lily gaped. The picture was of her.

There. She had found another thing that she had never known about James – he was a bloody _fantastic _drawer. This sketch of her upper profile was done in black ink, capturing Lily in a moment of time when she was tipping her head back, laughing. Judging by its background, she had been in the Common Room when he drew this, on the couches in front of the fire. His quill had elegantly shaped the soft outline of her lips and the natural wave of her loose hair. Her eyes shined with joy, even without its emerald green colour to accompany it, and a light spray of freckles dusted themselves over her nose.

Lily could not stop staring at it. She looked kind of... pretty? It was just...

A shocked voice interrupted her. "Evans?"

Lily's head whipped around to meet...

Oh God.

No. No. _No._

Standing in front of her was James, who had frozen in place by the now-open bathroom door. _Naked._

...with a towel wrapped around his lower body.

Her heart had stopped. Hell, her whole world had stopped.

Stopped at his bare, delicious, lick-me-like-honey abdominals.

After several long passing seconds, Lily found her mouth able to function again. It shaped one word:

"Fuck."

It repeated itself several times over:

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Meanwhile, James had gotten over the initial shock of seeing her by his bed. That unruly mouth of his slowly spread itself into an evil grin. His eyes were sparkling fireworks, like an untamed animal that was on the verge of pouncing on his prey.

"James!" Her voice came out several octaves higher than usual. "What are you... uhh... what are you doing here?"

"_I_ should be asking you that question."

Lily forced herself to tear her eyes away from his stomach. "I... Prefect rounds tonight," she said quickly.

James took a couple of steps closer to her. Her arms were shaking. He looked at her sardonically. "Prefect rounds? Whatever for?"

"We need to... to discuss the timetable. Um, Julie Highlett has a clash!"

"Julie Highlett isn't that important, is she? Couldn't we have done that at dinner?" He took another step towards her, now only a bed's length away from her.

Her mouth was hanging open. She couldn't help it. Any poor girl would have fainted by now at the sight of almost-naked James in front of her.

It was like Heaven... donuts and chocolate for her eyes.

"Lily?"

Her eyes snapped towards his expectant face. As he smiled, she felt the blood rush up to her head. "James," she said, trying in vain to steady the fast hammering of her heart. She stood up slowly, shaking on her feet. "I just wanted to ask you about Prefect rounds, but you weren't there... or I didn't think you were. Since you're not in the right um, attire to do anything, I'll just go now." She turned towards the door, eyes instinctively turning to widen in panic as soon as her face was out of his vision.

In half a second, he was standing directly behind her. "Who said that this attire isn't right for anything?" was his cheeky reply. His hot breath sent goosebumps down her neck.

"James-"

Quick as lightning, James swivelled her round on her shoulders, grabbed her face with two hands and pressed his lips to hers.

And again.

... And again.

Lily gasped, desperately trying to form a coherent stream of syllables. "James, I..."

Then she could speak no more, as his tongue had all of a sudden decided to establish a residence inside her mouth. And she didn't mind, really. Her mind had turned pleasantly hazy with his ill-disciplined mouth and freshly clean scent, and all she could really think was just...

_Mmm._

A moan came out of James' mouth, and he pressed her body closer against his. Lily made a sort of half-strangled breathless noise as her hands came into contact with the warm surface of his bare chest. She hooked her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss on her tiptoes with a light moan.

"James," she breathed, turning her head to the side. He ignored her, moving to place a light trail of kisses down her neck. Her already unsteady knees took a turn for the worse and collapsed as he did so. However, James didn't realise that this had happened as his arms were hugged so tightly around her waist that she did not fall.

Or he _did _realise, but had decided to ignore it, which was the more likely alternative.

Finally, Lily built up the concentration to snap loudly, "JAMES!" She pushed herself against his restricting arms.

Almost immediately, James stopped devouring her neck. Good, she was beginning to think that he was a wannabe vampire, even though she did kind of enjoy those vampirish acts with a guilty pleasure.

"What?" he replied in a tone that displayed an obvious annoyance.

Lily swallowed, panting heavily. "We can't... we can't do this now, okay?"

"Yes we can."

"No, we can't. It's not the right time."

"Well when the bloody hell is it the right time?" he demanded, dropping his arms and sitting at the edge of the bed like a sulking child.

Lily regarded him in disbelief. "When you're not practically naked!" she exclaimed, taking two large strides away from him. She tried to rearrange all the jumbled thoughts in her head, which was proving to be so much more difficult than she thought. "I just... can't," she said, mouth set determinedly. "It'd be like taking advantage of you."

All of a sudden, James seemed very amused. He grinned again, rekindling the spark that had caused her insides to muddle themselves all over. "I hardly think that _I'm_ the one being taken advantage of, Lily," he said, winking at her. He patted the space next to him on his bed. "Come sit with me."

Lily's eyes narrowed. "You are so not subtle in your tricks, Potter."

His eyebrows shot up. "Tricks?" he asked innocently.

"And extremely unoriginal, too. I'm going. Bye."

James' smile did not falter. "See you later!" he greeted. He grabbed a clean shirt and pants out from the chest in front of his bed.

Lily's eyes widened again as she took in the smooth tanned skin across his bare back that had become visible as he bent over. She opened the door (rather unwillingly), wincing. The full realisation of it had finally hit her: she had been in a _heated snogging session _with _James Potter _whilst he _didn't even have his bloody shirt or pants on._

Merlin's pants.

"Oh. You look like a mad lion, by the way. Might want to brush your hair down a bit before we head down to dinner. Wouldn't want everybody to know that you've been taking advantage of me, after all."

Lily tore her greedy eyes off him and turned away to leave the dormitory with an audible "hmph".

Taken advantage of, psh. She would take advantage of him whenever she damn well wanted to.

* * *

**Anyway, so I'm curious. How old do you guys think I am? Also, i****f anyone would like a sneak peek of the next chapter, just ask in a review or you can PM me. :)**

**Hope you enjoyed! See you again soon.**

**~ birchermuesli xx**


	21. Irritation of the Snape and the Diggory

**Well, here I am! Thank you so much to reviewers K Corra, mollylolly, Lucia Rayne, Lixie87, S0phfeist, Fiori Omega, Atayla, too lazy to log in (:P), Tribot, SamsSmiles247, Kanga XX, PkmnLuver292, Katy Rose, Liv, LunaxNight, Bubble Thoughts, HeatherTheCat, perdyprincess, JA Hastings and ilovemybestfriends, and also to everybody who alerted and favourited. You guys are AWESOME and simply made my day. :)**

**By the way, apologies to all you anonymous readers, as I'm unable to reply to your reviews. I do love you very muchly, though. :)**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 21**

"James, stop it!" Lily giggled, sliding away from James as he playfully poked at her ribs.

James' eyes gleamed. He popped the remainder of his jam scone into his mouth, dusted his hands and took Lily in for a hug, nestling his face into the crook of her neck. Lily squealed, tipping her head back in laughter.

It was very early – six o'clock in the morning. So naturally, they had the Great Hall to themselves. It was great. Her eyes briefly scanned the room. No one was insane enough to turn up this early; all the tables were empty.

Except one.

In his low figure, Severus Snape sat slouched at the back corner of the Slytherin table, difficult to discern amongst the shadows. He fingered the brim of an empty cup, eyes desperately seeking out Lily. She frowned, squinting her eyes. His head was shaking slowly and his lips were moving. What was he trying to say?

_Please Lily, please. Don't._

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Snape's lips just kept on repeating those words. _Don't. Don't._

Don't what? Be with James?

Her eyes narrowed. _No, Severus, _she mouthed back to him. And then after a long chilling moment between the two, her lips parted softly. _Sorry._

Then she turned back to James, who had just lifted his face from her neck. He did not seem to notice that there was anything amiss. Her face broke out into a smile.

Only for him.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Lily still had not finished the same slice of toast that she buttered at the very beginning of breakfast.

What could she say? She and James had become a little busy. Their mouths were occupied with more important things.

Lily fingered the bread apprehensively, wrinkling her nose. Cold toast was extremely unappetising and unpleasant. But she would just have to—

_EVANS! You do not know how _proud _I am of you..._

"...to finally have gotten acquainted with Prongsie boy's delicious sweet lips!" a voice finished off from behind. Wide awake and handsome as ever, Sirius Black sat down – or _bounced _down, more like it – into the empty space next to Lily.

Sirius... acquainted with James' delicious sweet lips... oh dear Lord.

Lily stared at him with a deadpanned expression. "Are you gay?" she said bluntly.

Sirius smirked. "You wish I was." He frowned momentarily. "No wait, you wish I _wasn't."_

"_I _certainly hope that you're not," remarked Emmeline's voice dryly as she slid down into the seat opposite Sirius. "Otherwise I would be kind of disturbed." She grabbed a red apple and smiled at Lily, eyes resembling puffy slits from her usual morning fatigue. She still looked like a sex goddess though. Stupid girl. "Hey Lil!"

"Hey."

"So," Sirius turned to James. "I hear that you've scheduled Quidditch practice tomorrow morning at _five in the morning. _Mate, what the hell? Did your mother drop you on the head as a baby? I thought you had some common sense."

James smirked. "Of course I have common sense. I just wooed the girl I've been one-sidedly flirting with for six years into submission." Lily threw him a look, which he promptly ignored. "And plus, it's good to practise early in the morning," he insisted. "You're more awake at that time."

Sirius' eyes narrowed. "You think you know everything, do you?" he said hotly.

And as expected, in a matter of seconds the two boys were engaged in a heated discussion concerning the benefits of Quidditch sessions scheduled in the late afternoon.

How boring. It had only happened two hundred and sixty-seven times before in the past.

Sensing a golden opportunity, Lily quietly slipped her piece of cold toast onto James' plate.

"...and you're sleepier in the morning, which makes you freak out when you're flying in mid-air, so you end up concentrating more because you don't want to fall and crack your head and die!" James finished off, punctuating the last word with such enthusiasm that Lily had never seen in him before. Giving Sirius a triumphant glance, he turned his gaze down to his plate to find the toast oddly sitting amongst his pancakes.

Damn.

He turned to Lily, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Cold toast?" he asked, looking at her knowingly. Then he shrugged and shoved the entire thing into his mouth without a second thought.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "That was contaminated with maple syrup, James," she pointed out.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah."

"Tasted quite nice, actually."

"You're disgusting."

"Mmhmm. And you love me for it."

* * *

During Charms class later that day, Emmeline slid a note in front of Lily.

_Did you see your face at breakfast this morning? _

Lily momentarily stopped listening to Flitwick, annoyed at the interruption. Her eyebrows furrowed as she read the note. She quickly scribbled below Emmeline's handwriting, _I have no idea what you're talking about._

_Sure you don't._

_Get to the bloody point, Emmeline Vance._

_You are actually so hung up on James that it's quite sad._

_I am NOT hung up on him!_

_Yeah. And Dumbledore uses conditioner on his beard every day._

_Do you think he does?_

_Shut up, Lil. You love James._

_NO, I DON'T! STOP IT ALREADY. HE'S AN ARROGANT PRICK THAT SHOULD BE CURSED INTO THE NEXT CENTURY._

_... that you want to snog._

Eyes flashing over Emmeline's last comment, Lily violently scrunched the parchment into a ball and snapped her head up to copy down several diagrams on the blackboard.

Emmeline snickered from beside her. "So, was he good yesterday?" she asked in an undertone. "Did he uphold that stellar snogger reputation he has? You know, _some _say that he's even better than Sirius... but that's bull, of course."

Lily's grip tightened around her quill. "He's fine," she said through gritted teeth.

"Only fine?"

"Yes."

"But you want to snog him again, right?"

_"Shut up."_

"He must've used a lot of tongue to have you going all red like that. Or maybe it's just this unique effect he has on you."

Lily's eyes widened, and her mind couldn't help but flash back to last night, where almost-naked James was _real _and was not just a figment of her imagination.

Not that she imagined James semi-naked. No, she would never. How ghastly and... drool-worthy.

She just wanted to run her hands over every bloody inch of his perfectly sculpted _amazing_ body. Damn him. She subtly turned her head, scanning her eyes across the room. James was sitting at the back of the classroom with Sirius. _Wearing a shirt. _

Oh shit. Why was he looking her way? And why was Black whispering to him like a little school child? And why were his lips pressed tight together, as if trying to suppress laughter?

But last night...

Lily's lips parted almost automatically at the thought. She could almost feel James' lips lightly grazing each of her eyelids before they came back at full-force to her mouth, pressing urgent kiss after urgent kiss. He was so utterly intoxicating and _addictive_ that she hated herself for it.

Meanwhile, Lily's gaze was transfixed at a blank point in space, her mouth hanging slightly open. Because all her mind could register was _James, James, James..._

Emmeline's pointed smirk brought her back to reality. Lily hissed, "Go away and stop distracting me. We need to focus!"

Emmeline smiled indulgently, leaning back on her chair. "Whatever you say, Ma'am."

* * *

"So Lilypad. Word has it that you think I'm an arrogant prick."

"Maybe because you are, Potter."

"That sounds so new and original, coming from you."

Lily's lips pursed together as she tried to block his voice out of her head. She mindlessly copied down McGonagall's words onto her sheet of parchment.

She would not be distracted.

She would not be distracted.

James' hands clapped around her shoulders, giving them a tight squeeze. Lily's stomach did a flip.

_No distractions._

"But you like arrogant pricks, don't you?" he murmured at her ear. One finger came to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

James leaned in closer till they were just inches away from each other, and his face was shining so bright that Lily wanted to smack it back to reality.

Because she had forgotten to breathe. And that was bad.

He repeated himself, with those hypnotising hazel eyes boring straight into hers. "You like arrogant pricks, don't you?"

"Yes," was all Lily could whisper back.

James gave her a rewarding smile and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Lily felt like sulking. Her lips were entirely free and unoccupied. There was no reason why he couldn't just bend down a little _lower—_

"Mr. Potter, I did specify at the beginning of this lesson for your eyes to be trained either at the front of the classroom or on your notes. If you do not see a need for this, you are more than welcome to leave."

No, McGoogles, not now! Why, why, _why?_

"Sorry, Professor," James replied cheekily. "It's just so easy to get distracted here."

Lily immediately let out a long, shaky breath as he turned away from her. She swore that McGonagall hid the tiniest of smiles before turning away and continuing with her lecture on Animagi. Lily tried to regain her composure, carefully picking up her quill and dipping it into the pot of ink. Her arms were shaking.

"Relax, Lils," James muttered from the corner of his mouth. His gaze was lazily fixed upon McGonagall's pacing figure. "You'll ace every class, you know you will."

* * *

Potions class.

Lily had finished brewing her potion and the purplish mixture was now in its cauldron bubbling lightly, just as planned. James lounged back in his chair beside her, one foot propped against his other leg.

"You are," he declared, "the singlehandedly most amazing Potions partner I have ever had."

"That's me," Lily replied smugly. "Though you're not so bad yourself."

'Not so bad' was a gross understatement. James had been consistently achieving high marks in Potions, and the sod didn't even _try_. However, he assured her that it was nothing to beat herself up over – genius ran in the family, after all. "Hence the arrogant prick," was Lily's snarky reply.

The casual banter was lost as Snape brushed past their table, moving towards the storage cupboards. Lily bit her lip and followed his figure with her gaze for several seconds before turning back to James, smiling weakly. "So uhh... where were we again?"

The expression of James' face softened. "You need to stop letting him get to you," he said gently. "He's not worth it, Lil."

"Yeah, but it still hurts," she grumbled back. She sighed. "Sorry. I know Snape's a sore subject for both of us. He's just... he's just like a bloody dementor, sucks all the life out of you."

James chuckled. They sat in comfortable silence for the next few minutes. After a while, James' thumb began to rub small circles between her shoulder blades whilst he stared absently at the potion in front of them. The action was almost instinctive; he didn't seem to be aware of doing it.

Lily didn't want to interrupt him, but the need to became more and more necessary as her entire body began to heat up in a very inappropriate manner. With each circle James made with his thumb, a jet of warmth shot down to the very tips of her toes. It made her relaxed, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

An extremely _non-platonic _kind of warm and fuzzy, which was something that really shouldn't be happening in class.

Lily jumped out of her chair abruptly. "Um," she stammered, trying to rack up any excuse that would come to mind. "We really should be... brewing the next potion in our assignment. To save time after class and all."

James' eyebrows rose ever so slightly. "Sure," he said, looking a little confused.

Lily hurried off with her nose buried deep in the textbook _Advanced Potion Making. _She knew what ingredients were required to brew the Deflating Draught, really. It was just that her eyes and hands needed something to do before they found themselves magnetically attracted to James again.

In the storage cupboard, she found Severus Snape. She frowned – he had been in there for more than five minutes already.

Had he been... _moping?_

He was reaching towards a handful of silverweed at the back of a high shelf. However, upon seeing Lily he froze, shock clearly displayed on his face. "Lily?" he said softly, as if he did not believe that it was her. His hand retracted to his side, and he simply stood there, waiting for her to say something.

Lily cleared her throat. "Excuse me, Severus," she said in a clear tone, though her voice was faltering a little. "I need to get to the rattlesnake skins."

Severus moved aside without a word, eyes still transfixed on her.

Lily sighed and turned around. "What do you want?"

Snape didn't miss a beat. "Why him, Lil? Out of all the people you could've chosen, why did you have to choose Potter?" His voice was earnest, without all the malice it was usually accompanied with when speaking of James. He seemed genuinely upset.

Lily blinked slowly, giving a sad smile. "Because it's just... him, Severus. He doesn't even care for my temper, or for my tendency to blow things way out of proportion. And he wouldn't give a shit about whether I was ugly or pretty, or pure blood or muggle born" – Snape flinched – "or even if I had two warts growing out from my face." She gave a watery laugh. "He just loves me for who I am, you know?"

Snape studied her closely, each second passing with dwindling hope. Lily's face seemed to have a natural newfound glow. Her emerald green eyes shined even more than usual, and a tiny smile had fixed itself permanently on her light pink lips.

She was too far deep now to be pulled out again. Wasn't she?

"Yeah, okay," Snape muttered quietly. "Okay, I guess."

"I'm sorry, Severus." She bit her lip. "You understand, don't you?"

Severus smiled tiredly, with a resigned expression on his face. "Yeah. If it makes you happy."

"Thank you." Lily broke into the first true smile she had given him since the incident by the Lake in Fifth year. "You don't know how much this means to me. And Severus?" she called as he turned to move away.

"Yeah?"

"I'm... I'm really sorry for everything that happened between us."

Severus snapped his head away sharply, effectively blocking his face from her view. "Yeah," he choked. "Yeah, it's all good."

Then he walked away.

* * *

"What was up with Snape back there?" James asked after class. All the students filed through the narrow doorway one by one.

Lily pressed her books tightly to her chest. "Nothing. Just fixed some things up, made things all good between us. He won't bother me anymore."

"Oh, that's good."

Then a hand was tugging at her arm. "Lily, can I talk to you for a second?"

Lily turned around to see the solemn face of Amos Diggory. She raised her eyebrows. "Um... yeah, sure."

James' lips tightened. "Do you want me to wait for you?" he muttered.

"Nah, it's fine."

"Sure?"

"Yes, James," laughed Lily, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. She pushed him gently. "Come on, get out."

James flashed an apologetic smile. "Don't be too long."

"I won't."

"I'll miss you."

_"Go!"_

"Okay, okay! I'll see you then." Still grinning, James ducked out of the dungeons, leaving Lily to mull over a new dilemma.

Amos Diggory. What on earth would possess _him _to want to talk to _her? _

Sure, Lily reasoned. They had dated – once – back in Fourth Year. She hated to say it because he was a nice guy and all, but Amos Diggory was a terribly boring person to be around. On their Hogsmeade trip together, he spent the majority of the time rambling on about himself: his past girlfriends, his annoying roommates, his aversion towards schoolwork, his Quidditch achievements, and even his rudding _hair. _

What kind of boy would talk about their _hair _on a date to Hogsmeade?

Probably James, actually. Lily laughed internally. But he would do it with so much more humour and style and charming _James_ness, which made all the difference.

And she highly doubted that Amos still liked her in the _romantic _sense, but she always suspected ever since that date that he felt a jealous sort of ownership over her. He was undeniably handsome with his refined features, Quidditch-toned body and perfectly styled dark brown hair. If he wanted a girl, he would get her – and if he didn't, it was usually because she had already fallen for one of the Marauders.

At that time, Lily had liked Remus, and James had liked Lily. So there was no way in hell that Amos Diggory had any chance.

And now that Lily was in a relationship, a real _relationship _with James _– _a tingle of excitement rushed through her body – she was guessing that Amos was now quite ticked off indeed.

Because he hated to lose. _Really _hated to lose.

"He doesn't like you," Amos interrupted Lily's thoughts. He glanced at her sharply. "Drop him now, for your own good."

Yup.

Lily let out an incredulous laugh. "Excuse me? Since when did you have the right to tell me what to do?"

Amos stared at her seriously. "Lily, don't get yourself further into this than you already are."

"Oh, and why would you suggest for me to do that?"

"Because he likes somebody else."

_He likes somebody else._

_James Potter _liked somebody else.

Lily felt a sting to her stomach. The mere thought of such a thing occurring made her dizzy, and she could feel tears forming at her eyes. Hundreds of emotions passed through her at one instant – shock, disbelief, regret, distress. But above all...

Anger.

Honestly, James loved her. After six and a half long gruelling years of discord, one would _hope _that people would be happy for them.

"I think," Lily clenched her jaw, "that it's none of your business, and you should get the hell out of here and never try to interfere with my life again."

Diggory scoffed. "You really don't believe me, do you?"

"No, seeing as I don't have any reason to," replied Lily in a level tone.

"Melody Varnes."

"What?"

"Melody Varnes. You know, Hufflepuff Sixth Year?"

Lily's thoughts went back several weeks ago, when she had bumped into Remus in the library. She was trying to find out how Sirius had managed to read her thoughts and communicate in her head. Then, when she had seen Remus her purpose had flown away because he looked so utterly adorable and smoggable (well, not so much anymore). Just a few minutes later a girl had interrupted their conversation, which had angered Lily to a frightening degree.

She was throwing herself at him, but wasn't as bad as some of the girls she had seen before, Lily had to admit. Melody was wearing her uniform _properly, _i.e. her skirt was not so short to flash her underwear, and she had only been twirling her hair around a finger in an attempted I'm-so-cute-and-innocent manner. Embarrassingly enough, most girls would have taken this opportunity to show off as much... _skin... _as possible. They seemed to think that the Marauders were into that. How wrong they were.

Aside from Sirius, maybe. However, though he would never admit it, Lily was quite certain that Emmeline's skin was more than sufficient to fulfil his desires.

Melody had a really irritating high-pitched giggly voice, as well. The mere thought of James liking someone whilst having to put up with _that _was ridiculous.

"Melody Varnes," choked Lily. "You honestly expect me to believe that James likes _Melody Varnes."_

"Well I'm in her House, aren't I? I should know. And you're so blind sometimes. You don't... see the way Potter looks at her." He ended the sentence on an uncertain note, but tried to back it up with a harsh glare.

"You see, Amos," Lily said cheerfully. "I _know_ that James doesn't have any feelings for Melody Varnes because frankly, she could happily jump into the lap of any decent-looking guy and snog him till the cows come home. James doesn't do that sort of thing. I only date people with _standards."_

The expression on Amos' face instantly darkened. "Oh, so you're not going to believe me then?" he said rather threateningly, eyes flashing.

Quite the feisty one, Amos Diggory was.

Lily was unperturbed. She crossed her arms and raised one eyebrow. "Um, no."

"Fine," he snapped, grabbing his bag which had been slung along one chair. "I'll just go."

"Bye, Amos."

"You just wait and see. Watch him closely, Lily. You'll soon be eating your words." He slammed the door shut, leaving Lily all alone in the dark.

* * *

**Reviewers/PMers get sneak peeks of the next chapter, because you're all so amazing and I can't think of any other way to thank you. :)**

**Sorry about the utterly unnecessary intensity in this chapter, what with Lily getting mauled by these rowdy boys and all! **

**P****erhaps I'll see you by the New Year. Perhaps it'll be a little after that. But in any case, I hope you all have a stunning start to 2011! What will your resolutions be? :P**

**~ birchermuesli xox**


	22. My Friend Spaghetti and all those Kisses

**Hello all! **

**Hope you had a STUNNING start to the year! You guys gave me simply the most amazing New Year's gift ever, with reviews from SamsSmiles247, Tribot, too lazy to log in, Atayla, Fiori Omega, S0phfeist, Lixie87, Lucia Rayne, mollylolly, Corra dawg, PkmnLuver292, HeatherTheCat, Queen lover, iloveharrypotter711, WhereIsMyThumpThump, Magical Singer Gal, ilovemybestfriends, LunaxNight, Rue-the-Marauder, lumos maximum, Juricon, Mogseltof and SucksRoyalHippogriff. Thanks also to those who alerted and favourited. I just felt like crying/screaming out in happiness!**

**You're all wonderful. Hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 22**

Lily had no classes with James for the remainder of the day. In this time, she became increasingly worried about what Amos had warned her of. She fidgeted throughout most of her classes. A simple enquiry from a teacher would cause her to jolt her head up, putting her on edge. Lily even took to biting her nails nearing the end of the day as time seemed to pass agonisingly slowly.

Emmeline and Alice took this in with a silent worry. During Charms, they ventured to broach upon the subject.

"Lil?" Alice whispered whilst pretending to take notes from her textbook.

"Mm?"

"What's been bothering you?"

"Huh?"

"You're acting a bit... different, I suppose."

"Oh no," Lily dismissed with a casual flick of her hands. "I'm just having a really off day, that's all."

Her friends did not attempt to probe her any further.

When Professor Vector had stopped pacing and announced the end of class, Lily quickly swung her rucksack over her shoulder and rushed out the door. Her mind raced frantically, still mulling in an almost painful admission of the possibility of _James _loving _another girl. _

An arm stopped her, causing her to flinch at the sense of a foreign touch. She had been left alone for most of the day. "Evans, what the hell?" hissed Sirius as he dragged her away into an empty hallway.

Oh, Black. Of course.

Lovely.

Nice to see you too.

Lily regarded him tiredly. She shook her arm loose of his grip. "Have you been intruding into my thoughts again, Black?" she replied with a degree of forced amusement. "Really, you just can't get your mind off me, can you?"

Sirius returned her gaze with a slight irritation. "No, the rock is unfortunately tucked away in my dormitory. I wish it wasn't though, what with that _face _you've had this entire time..."

"What face?" Lily interjected.

People had noticed her depressed brooding. They had actually noticed _her, _Lily Evans. That was comforting, she guessed, if not incredibly embarrassing to just the slightest degree.

"I don't know! You're just blocking everybody out with that fucked up—"

"What are you two doing?" a voice cut through from behind. Lily turned around to find James walking up to them, his footsteps echoing around the corridor.

Her eyes shut almost immediately.

Oh God. Worst timing ever.

Beneath the utter terror of seeing him, because that would inevitably lead to _confronting _him, Lily's heart did a jump.

Psh. Not a jump – more like a small _hop__._

(That's what she willed herself to believe, anyway. It was his bloody fault that he was so good-looking.)

James looked entirely carefree and happy to see her, with his lazy stance and hands shoved deep into his pockets. He gave a lopsided grin, sending Lily's insides to clench rather unpleasantly.

Lily eyed his smile suspiciously. "You're not hiding the rock in your pocket, are you?"

James raised an eyebrow and took his hands out of his pockets. They were empty. The aforementioned pockets were flat as well, meaning only that the rock indeed _was _hidden safely away in the dormitory.

Hm. Black actually had told the truth for once – that was something new. How embarrassing. "Oh, sorry," she said sheepishly.

"Come on," James laughed, bringing an arm around her shoulder. He buried his face into her hair, causing Lily to jerk a little nervously at the endearing display. James looked a little surprised, but said nothing as they proceeded out towards the Great Hall. "Let's go to dinner," he said.

* * *

He was just sitting there beside her, munching on some roast potatoes and _completely_ oblivious to her thoughts. Lily frowned, the action forming a small crease between her brows. Until she cleared this absolute mess of a joke up, her mind would never be at peace. If something happened as a result of this nagging tick of distrust in their relationship, Lily didn't put it behind her to do something really stupid. Such as diving into the Lake and allowing the Giant Squid to consume her in full, for example.

"James?"

James looked up from his plate. "Yes, my darling Lily Flower?" he said.

She scowled to that. It was an instinctive action – James had been calling her "my Lily Flower" ever since he had had his little crush on her. Well, it was hardly little; it was _big._ An extremely enormous and significant attraction that he had felt the need to make crystal clear in front of the whole school on several occasions.

Not that Lily had minded so much as it neared the end of Sixth Year. In fact, she was quite angry at herself for feeling embarrassed for the charming idiot and thus winded up yelling at him almost every time.

Now, he still used his soppy proclamations of love every so often. Didn't the bloke ever learn? With a roll of her eyes, Lily continued. "I need to talk to you..." she paused hesitantly, "about something important."

"Fire away."

"Okay. Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," was his cheerful reply.

Lily sighed in annoyance. He evidently did not realise how serious this was. Maybe she had been making a mountain out of a molehill (big surprise there), but this issue had been tearing her apart for an entire bloody day, for Merlin's sake! Didn't she have a _right _to feel the slightest bit crabby?

The voice in her head reminded her that she did _not _in fact have any right to feel as such, because poor James in front of her was utterly clueless and oblivious to the situation. It didn't stop Lily from glaring childishly at him, though. And perhaps from grabbing her fork and stabbing it hard against her plate.

Yeah. She was really off her rocker. After this was all over, Lily made a note to visit Madame Pomfrey concerning her troubled state of mind. She was sure that her friends would support the idea entirely.

The fork did not go through any food, however it did happen to make a terrible scratchy noise against the porcelain. James winced at this. "You are such a psycho," he said, mirroring Lily's thoughts. Seeing her unmoving expression, he quickly added with a heart-melting smile, "But a very beautiful psycho at that."

Lily's eyed widened.

James... James called her _beautiful._

She sighed inwardly, and perhaps enjoyed the lovely sensation his words gave for just the _slightest _of moments before getting back on track.

"Okay," Lily sighed. "Yes. We need–" she paused and regarded him unflinchingly– "to _talk_."

The smirk on James' face disappeared within an instant. _"Talk?"_ he echoed.

Lily sat there motionless, growing more miserable with each second that passed by. Her cold fingers gripped around the hard edge of her seat.

He didn't want to talk.

No. No.

Oh _no._

James placed two heavy hands on her shoulders, bright eyes gazing at her searchingly. "I love to talk to you – you know that already, Lils. But why in rudding hell would we need to _talk_?"

Lily shook him off, shooing his big manly hands away as if swatting a fly. "I see that you have picked the difference," she commented with utmost seriousness, "between simply talking, and _talking_. We need to _talk _James, not just talk."

"I know," James quipped back with equal gravity. "So would you like to _talk _now, or just talk now and _talk _later?" Seeing Lily's blank expression, he continued. "Sometimes people talk about _talks _in their talking tone to make things seem lighter, but other times it's just in their _talking _tone. So would you like to conduct our_ talking _conversation in talking tone, or _talking _tone?"

Merlin, he needed to get a life.

"You're insufferable. Piss off," was Lily's pathetic grumbling retort.

"No," replied James, grinning cheekily. "We need to _talk_, remember?"

And with a bit of the usual complaining and petty reprimanding, Lily probably would have left the whole situation there because he was too much of a bloody charmer for her to bring herself to ruin his day with such ridiculous lines as "I think you're in love with Melody Varnes".

He had never given her reason to believe that he loved anybody else, anyway. Why had she been so _stupid? _

Lily groaned, covering her face with her hands. "No, scrap the whole talking thing," she confessed with a muffled voice. "I've been such a mongrel!"

"Hate to break it to you, love, but you've always been a bit of a mongrel." James patted her back mock-reassuringly. "Thought you had to _talk_ to me though? This could be quite serious, you know. I think it's best to get it over and done with, so that we can get back to real things."

She snorted. _He _was telling _her _that this could be serious.

Lily didn't know how to respond to that, so she merely continued on with the side conversation. "And what's that?" she said, lifting her head up to find his bastardly face-of-a-loon hovering inches away from hers.

James' eyes danced about. "Snogging," he whispered into her ear, so close that his hot breath sent shivers down her spine. He leaned in, beginning to close the space between them before Lily slapped two hands over his disobedient mouth. "Oy with the kiss threats!" she giggled, pushing him away. "You have such a one-track mind, Potter. It really is quite sad."

"Umm, James?" a small voice said from behind them. It was a little high, mixed with an acquired air of both nervousness and eagerness. "Could I talk to you for a sec?"

Lily was quite annoyed that her potential snogging time with James would be stripped away for such trivial matters. However, she knew that what was worse than a temporarily-deserted-and-deprived girlfriend was a possessive girlfriend. James was allowed to talk to other people. She may be disappointed, but it was all in the name of righteousness, wasn't it? So, smiling all the while, Lily turned around to see who had been speaking him.

Her jaw dropped.

Standing there, twirling those irritating honey blonde locks around her finger, was Melody Varnes.

Melody. Freaking. Varnes.

"You have got to be fucking _kidding _me," Lily muttered under her breath.

James looked a little confused by Melody's presence. He briefly ran a hand through his hair, causing it to be more ruffled at the back than it already was. "Yeah, sure," he said. To Lily aside, he murmured, "Sorry. You don't mind, do you?"

It took all the effort in the world for her to swallow a retort down hard and force a smile onto her lips. "No. Not at all," was her strangled response.

What she would have _rather _said was something along the lines of, "Yes, I mind terribly. That idiot Amos Diggory told me this morning that you are in _love _with her, even though I can't imagine why the hell who would feel remotely attracted to the leader of the Potter and Black fan club. But now she is here. _Here, _twirling that ugly curly blonde hair around her weak, girly finger. And you are going to walk away from me into her arms so she can giggle something about a bloody Divination assignment or something to you. Or worse yet, _you _could be willingly snogging her. And by Merlin, I really don't want your lips to be so contaminated by _that,_ because _I _should be the only one who gets access to your delicious mango scent and drugging stupid lips that make me want to..."

James stood up and gave Lily a quick peck on the lips before walking away.

With Melody Varnes.

"No," Lily groaned into her bowl of spaghetti. She stabbed her fork into the tangled mess of noodles. It did not make the same screeching sound before as when James was with her.

She missed him already.

"Evans. You cannot be serious," Sirius Black's irritating voice came at her ear.

She had been beginning to feel an inkling of gratitude towards him for not driving her to insanity i.e. leaving her _alone_. Not anymore, evidently. Bloody Black. Besides being the annoying pompous arse he was, Lily couldn't help but feel a little... _scared _of him. With that stupid rock of his that she had sadly not yet gotten around to hiding away, he just knew far too much about her for her liking. It was even worse that he was best mates with James, seeing as the majority of embarrassing thoughts she had went straight back to him.

Such as the mango and the utterly _mind-robbing _snogs he now gave on a frequent basis, for instance.

And now.

"Go away, Black," Lily responded in a pained voice. She kept her gaze steadfastly fixed on her spaghetti. It was fascinating, really – strings after strings of a yellow knotted mess. Much more entertaining than Black, or Potter, or anyone for that matter. Who cared if she was crazy, and preferred the company of inanimate objects over real people? Life was easier, aside from the complication that she would have a hard time convincing herself not to _devour _her companion. "You're no help whatsoever."

From the corner of the eye, she could see Sirius' blinding smirk directed straight at her. "Melody Varnes?" he said, glee all too evident in his voice. "Really, Evans? _Melody Varnes?"_

"You think I'm nuts," Lily insisted, turning her gaze on his stormy grey eyes. She wished, however, that a pair of hazel eyes could have been there instead. That way she would know that its owner had not ditched her for a giggling flirty Sixth Year girl.

"Evans," Sirius interrupted her train of thought in an offended tone. "My eyes are beautiful. You offending them is greatly diminishing my self esteem."

"Stop listening in on me," she snapped back. "I'm about to die of mortification here. Care to spare me some sympathy?"

"I don't need to, though."

"You're an arse."

"No," Sirius replied patiently. He shifted, moving to cup his chin with his palm. "What I _mean _is that—"

"—the ponce Diggory was right and he LIKES her, I know, I know!" Lily wailed. Would he stop teasing her already? It was not amusing.

Not amusing at all.

All of a sudden, diving into the Lake and never coming back out seemed a rather attractive proposition. At least the Giant Squid wouldn't be hungry for the rest of the day.

Sirius blinked once, cocking an eyebrow. "There is no way in hell that Prongs likes Melody Varnes," he corrected her flatly. "If you honestly believe that, I really don't know where you've been all these years."

A flicker of hope passed through Lily. Sirius and James were so incredibly close – if one person had to know him inside out, it _must _be Sirius. He knew what he was talking about.

Didn't he?

"Black," she began, exhaling loudly. "Don't make me hope. Please. It's just going to end up in a whole lot of disappointment."

Sirius snorted in derision. "Hey, Moony!" he called, slapping the boy to his right on the back with a large _thud. _

Remus groaned at the impact. "What?" he grumbled.

"Prongs likes Melody Varnes, mate. He's going to dump Evans and go out with her."

Remus regarded Sirius with a tired expression. "I was finally getting a good talk with Mary MacDonald," he hissed so that he was only audible to Sirius and Lily's ears, "and you interrupt me to bullshit about _this?_"

"It's not bullshit!" Lily insisted. "In fact, it's happening right at this instant – honestly!"

"You're crazy," was Remus' amused reply. Then he turned away to resume his conversation with Mary Macdonald, completely disregarding Lily's gaping mouth and outraged appeal.

Why did they all tell her that she was _crazy? _What rude friends she had.

Some _friends _they were. Hmph.

Sirius threw Lily a triumphant glance and proceeded to dig into his dinner with all the fervour of a starved prisoner. Incredibly confused now, Lily turned to her left to find Emmeline chatting away with Marlene McKinnon, a Gryffindor Sixth Year.

She really was a pretty girl, Marlene. With loose blonde waves coming down to her waist, clear blue eyes and a stunningly pale complexion, she was considered one of Hogwarts' most gorgeous witches. This beauty, however, was rivalled closely by her hot temper. Marlene could often be seen at night snapping at the younger students in the Common Room to keep quiet, and her one-sided screaming matches with some particularly vexing suitors could even match the likes of Lily back in Fifth and Sixth Year when James had done something to infuriate her (yet again).

"Hey," Lily leaned in to smile at Marlene. "How's it going?"

"Great," she said with a grin.

"Mind if I steal this one for a sec?" Lily thrust her thumb at Emmeline.

"We were actually talking about something really important," said Emmeline stiffly, who was looking quite offended at being completely left out of the conversation.

Marlene chimed, "Yeah. Sirius Black's hair and how the length of it compliments his eyes."

A faint red tinge materialised over Emmeline's cheeks. She quickly shook it away as Marlene turned away to give herself another helping of fried rice. "So. Hello there," she greeted Lily pleasantly. "I'm surprised that you still know I exist. I was about to positively _collapse_ in grief over the loss of your love!"

Lily suppressed a groan. "Spare the dramatics, Em. This really isn't the right time."

"Hmm?" Emmeline fiddled around with a hair tie tied around her wrist, indicating that she was listening.

"It's Potter..."

"Oh _no_," her friend moaned unexpectedly loudly, sounding quite akin to a rowdy hyena.

Um, what?

"Excuse me?" said Lily.

"When was the last time we had a proper conversation?" Emmeline demanded, stabbing at Lily's chest accusingly. "For the past few weeks it's just been Potter Potter Potter... Potter this, Potter that, Potter's eyes, Potter's kisses... seriously Lil, if it wasn't incredibly sweet that you're so bloody obsessed with the guy, I would've had a hard time fighting the urge to throw you off the bleeding Astronomy Tower."

Lily stared at her, completely baffled. She tried to say something but only succeeded in opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water. "I'm not... I'm not obsessed with James!" she finally sputtered, blinking rapidly several times over.

"Oh please, Evans. Everybody's obsessed with me. Even you can't help but be enchanted by my irresistible appeal."

That voice... that voice was _James._

So he had returned!

_Wow, Evans. You blow me away with your intelligence, _Sirius' sarcastic voice came into her head. She ignored it, too strung up with panic to care about insignificant insults. Lily whimpered inwardly and turned away from James who was standing behind her.

Life was shit.

He must have just gotten back from that heated snogging session with Melody Varnes, mouth all contaminated with the horrible mouth diseases that she was _bound _to have. She could just imagine what had happened. They would both be caught up in the moment, and James' strong hands would pull her in closer at the small of her back. Melody would act like a slimy eel, thrashing about and devouring his face greedily...

Tears formed at the corners of her eyes.

Distantly, an exasperated snort sounded to her right. Black, probably.

Lily didn't pay attention to him. As a matter of fact, she didn't pay attention to anyone until she was suddenly aware of James' lips being pressed against hers.

Well, it certainly didn't _seem _like he had acquired a mouth disease.

To stop herself from lunging at him like a starved baby tiger, Lily quickly pressed her lips together and grabbed both sides of his face, effectively preventing him from moving in any further.

Those hazel eyes that she had grown to love twinkled merrily. "Good evening, Evans," he said. "Miss me?"

Miss him? _Miss him? _Of course she had bloody missed him! But why on Earth was he...

_My God Evans, you are so daft._

Lily stared and stared and stared at James, trying to figure out what the bloody hell had happened.

She could take her time. It was good scenery, anyway. Very nice on her eyes.

So James had kissed her just then. He had returned from a short trip with Melody Varnes, emphasis on the word _short. _Black said that James didn't like her. Amos Diggory was a stupid moron, so he must have been lying.

Lily almost cried out in relief. So her James had not been sneaking off to snog Hufflepuff Sixth Years. He still _liked _her, and she liked him back a terrible amount. Right now, she was holding James' face in her hands. The most convenient thing to do would just be to lean over and—

"Lily, maybe do something in the next century, please? All of this heated tongue action we've had has gotten me really thirsty, and there's this enticing goblet of pumpkin juice just tantalising me right there," said James impishly.

"Oh, just drink already," Lily snapped, letting go of James' face. "You're a bloody rapist, that's what you are, just smashing your mouth about wherever you please."

"You love being taken against your will, though," he argued between swigs of pumpkin juice. "And my mouth only smashes in one place."

One place. _One place only! _

Lily felt like jumping on the table amidst all the dishes, throwing her hands in the air and screaming out in joy whilst doing a celebratory tribal dance.

But she didn't. She had an example to set to the younger students of Hogwarts as Head Girl, after all.

Instead, she waited until James had finished the pumpkin juice and placed the goblet back down onto the table, before looping her arms around his neck and kissing him with delight. James laughed in her mouth and responded eagerly, pulling away after a few seconds. "Didn't we have to _talk _before we got to this?" he teased.

"Don't uhh... don't worry about that," Lily replied hastily. "Let's just, you know..." She flopped her hand about between them, trying to communicate that they should 'get together'.

Their _faces_, of course.

"I have no rudding clue why your arm is flailing about like that. But sure."

_Evans, my beautiful eyes need a break. It would be better for you two to bring your conversation outside. Public displays of affection are rather unpleasant to witness, you know._

_Didn't I tell you to stop using that rock, Black?_

And with a maniac grin, Lily put her utmost effort in to create the worst possible, most-embarrassing-to-sit-through public display of affection.

She truly was a considerate friend like that.

* * *

**I do apologise for this chapter. I spent about the last three hours editing it, but I'm still not incredibly satisfied with how it turned out. That may or may not be due to the fact that in the past 2 days, I have slept for a grand total of 2 hours. :P However, I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. :) Sorry if things sound incredibly confusing; I promise that everything will soon make sense. **

**Review/PM me for a sneak peek to the next chapter!**

**~ birchermuesli xox**


	23. Transfiguration Classroom Rendezvous

**Hello again! :P Thank you so much to RaptorSaysRawr, cerdogordo, SucksRoyalHippogriff, Lixie87, Diamond Lily425, S0phfeist, WhereIsMyThumpThump, WobblyJelly, ilovemybestfriends, misszsalvatore101 and SamsSmiles427. You guys are wonderful and made my day for reviewing. :)**

**By the way, huge apologies if I'll be updating a little less frequently for the next couple of weeks. I've kind of gotten really behind with everything in general and need to spend some time catching up, but I'm still trying my best to update as fast as I can! Hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 23**

Lily snuggled in closer to James, entangling her legs with his. The couch was pleasantly warm, heated by the flames of the fire that blared in front of them, flickering every so often. Her head lulled peacefully against his chest. Faintly at the back of her mind as she ventured deeper and deeper into sleep, she could hear a soft heartbeat.

_Thump. Thump._

James' arm was curled protectively around her shoulder. The other clasped her left hand tightly. His eyes were closed, and his mouth was set into a small, almost invisible smile.

The Gryffindor Common Room was silent save for the sporadic cracklings of the hearty fire. Everybody had retired up to their dormitories to sleep, leaving Lily and James alone together at the peaceful hour of one o'clock in the morning.

"James?" Lily suddenly mumbled as a particular loud crack from the fire woke her up.

James took in a deep breath, squeezing her hand lightly. "Mm?"

"What were you..." she yawned, resting her face against his shirt again, "what were you doing with Melody Varnes at dinner?"

It took several seconds for James to reply. "Divi... Divi... something about Divination," he said softly, eyelids fluttering. "I dunno. I forgot. Shh. Just... just sleep." He stroked her hair, and Lily drifted off into quiet, hazy dreams.

But when she woke up several hours later, he was gone.

Before she opened her eyes, she already knew that something was wrong. Instead of the heat of James' warm body radiating beside her, all Lily could feel was several cold cushions pressed roughly against her cheek. She opened her eyes blearily, eyebrows furrowed in a feeling that just... _wasn't right._

It didn't seem like a bad idea at the time to go looking for him. However, many groans and stumbling footsteps later, Lily realised that she didn't know where to begin.

How would one go about conducting a search for a boy at – she glanced at a clock on the wall – half past three in the morning, not knowing in the slightest of any possibility of his whereabouts?

_Always use your resources, _McGonagall's voice chanted in her head. She had always used the saying to remind the class how to study effectively for exams. However, in this instance...

_Use your resources... use your resources... _

Sirius.

Of _course_. Well, the sod might as well be useful for a change.

Lily didn't waste time thinking any further.

_Black, _she screamed loud in her head. _Black, are you there?_

There was no response. After several more unsuccessful attempts, Lily's tired mouth stretched into a scowl. She swerved on her foot, pulled her cloak tighter around her body and shuffled up the stairs to the Seventh Year Boys Dormitory. The cheeky part in her brain could not help but remind her that this was the second time that she had snuck up to the boys' dormitory in just two days.

The room was dark, and the eerie quiet was only disturbed by the sound of Peter's soft snores. James' bed, which Lily's eyes located almost immediately upon opening the door, appeared neat and unslept in. She squeezed her eyes shut in disappointment. So, he hadn't just gone up there to hang around with his friends and pull some immature pranks.

For once in her life, she wished it was otherwise.

Sirius' bed was situated closest to the door. He was sleeping face-down without a shirt, blanket sprawled across the bed in a mess. Lily's eyebrows shot up as she was caught in an awkward moment of, well...

Checking him out.

Hmm. He and James were really fit. Really, _really _fit. She hated to admit it, but she could kind of see why they had their fan clubs and all. What did they do, sneak out to secret gym societies at night?

She was ogling Sirius Black. Why must the world be so cruel?

The sight of the rock by Sirius' bedside table snapped her back to reality. Lily's mouth dropped open. Peter stirred, rolling to his other side. He mumbled something incoherent before getting back to a steady pattern of snoring again.

Lily's eyes locked onto the rock.

It was just sitting all by itself. She could... _take _it and he wouldn't even know.

She bit her lip. She _really_ needed to ask Sirius about James, but there would never be an opportunity like this ever again. And a few minutes couldn't hurt, right?

Slowly and painstakingly quietly, she made her way over to the small wooden table beside Sirius' bed. Lily's arm stretched out towards the rock, stopping just inches over it. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she clasped her hand around it. A rush of adrenaline flowed through her body.

And... nothing.

Lily straightened up with a sigh, still holding the small object. Sirius _had_ said that she needed to be a Legilimens to be able to read people's thoughts. She guessed that he was right, much to her disappointment.

She found herself inwardly cursing James. He had been the cause of all this, after all.

Damn him. _Damn him. _Damn that bloody _arse _of a mysterious _pig head..._

Something in her mind jolted.

Lily's eyes widened as a chilling sensation took over her. It was different, frightening and utterly mind-nerving. The cool surface of the rock heated up slightly in her hand, and suddenly more thoughts – _different _thoughts – began to filter through Lily's mind.

_Melody Varnes, Melody Varnes... must find Melody Varnes..._

She relinquished her grip on the rock with a gasp. It dropped to the ground, making a sharp noise.

The little cretin! Black had told her that she needed to know _Legilimency _to read people's thoughts through it!

"Evans?" a shocked voice croaked out. Lily spun around to meet the stunned expression of Sirius Black. He had half-sat up in his bed, leaning on one elbow. His blanket had fallen down to the ground with the action, leaving his body completely uncovered – aside from a pair of skimpy boxers.

Great.

Lily fought the urge to vomit in her mouth. Eyes narrowing, she advanced towards him, lifting with rock up between her thumb and forefinger. "You. Bloody. _Liar!" _she hissed at his face, slamming it violently into his chest. Sirius winced, fighting to keep his eyes open. "You told me that you read my thoughts through _Legilimency!"_

"Evans," he mumbled, finally sitting up straight. He ran a hand over his face, massaging his temples. "What the rudding hell are you doing in my bed?"

"Oh," said Lily in the sudden realisation that she was practically pressed into his almost-naked body. "Shit." She backed away. Very, very quickly.

"Shit is right. Now what did you want again?" Sirius automatically moved to flatten his hair with one hand, using the other to rub his eye tiredly.

Lily wiped her hand against the side of his bed. She had touched his bare skin. Skin of Black. Gross. "Well, I was kind of... in the Common room sleeping with James, but _NOT _in that way—"

"I know," Sirius smirked. "We all know, actually. Quite the adorable couple you two make, Evans."

Lily's face turned to a beetroot red. Luckily he couldn't see this change as it was still dark. "So I was in the Common Room," she repeated scathingly, "and then I wake up and he's suddenly _disappeared."_

"So?"

"So I'm wondering where he is, of course! I go to the boys' dormitory—"

"—and see my irresistible figure, and without a second thought jump onto it in animalistic lust."

Lily stared at Sirius and blinked once. "No," she replied with a stony face. "No, whilst contemplating how to wake you up, I see the rock, pick it up and suddenly _James' _thoughts come rushing into my head when _you _told me that you needed to be a _Legilimens _to do it—"

"Okay, no need to keep on bringing that up, I'm _sorry_," interrupted Sirius, "but could you please get to the point?"

Lily closed in on him again, eyes shooting daggers at his face. "Do you _know," _she snarled, "what James was thinking?"

"Uhh... no?"

"Melody Varnes," she spat slowly, enunciating each syllable. "Over, and over, and over. At four o'clock in the morning. He was out there thinking about, or looking for, I don't know, but _his mind was occupied by MELODY BLOODY VARNES._"

_"Calm the fuck down, Evans!" _Sirius whispered loudly, pushing down on her shoulder to sit down at the edge of his bed. "You'll wake all the others up!"

"Sorry," she grumbled, shaking his hand off. "But I _told _you so."

"Yes, yes, I get it," said Sirius impatiently. "Now where is he?"

"I don't know, you tell me! Why do you think I came up here for?"

Comprehension dawned upon Sirius' face. His eyes widened. "Oh," he said, nodding slowly. Lily snorted.

Men.

Sirius stood up and walked unsteadily over to the wooden chest at the foot of his bed. He opened it, rummaging through several piles of crumpled clothing.

"I'm taking it away," hissed Lily, reaching for the white rock tucked into his thumb. "You bloody son of a wanker!"

Sirius' hand darted away quickly away from her. "Not so fast, Evans," he said mischievously. "It's mine, remember?"

"It is _not _yours! You stole it from Remus' bedroom or something."

"I guess you leave me with no choice then," he sighed, before depositing the rock down his pants.

Yeah.

_Down his pants._

If it were physically possible for Lily's jaw to detach itself from her face, it would have done so without question. She simply stood there for several still moments, staring at Sirius' empty hand, horrified. "Wh-what—"

"Now that's all settled," said Sirius in a pleased tone, "I'd like to get back to business, please. Ah, here it is." He pulled out a folded piece of parchment from the bottom of the chest and handed it to Lily. "Hold on to that for a sec. I have to put some clothes on."

"How considerate of you," Lily replied dryly, finally finding her voice. She unfolded the parchment with a small frown. "What's this? It's blank."

Sirius pulled a plain white t-shirt over his body and thrust two legs violently down a pair of black pants, buttoning and doing the zipper up in record speed. Seeing Lily's expression, he smirked and whispered, "Evans, stop looking like you're about to vomit all over my beautiful face! Most girls would absolutely kill to see me like this..."

"Shut it Black, let's _go,_" Lily snapped, pulling him roughly by the arm out into the Common Room. She took her wand out and held it in front of her. _"Lumos." _Sirius mumbled a few words under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "whiny bossy boots", but nonetheless obliged without complaint.

"Hey Evans?" he said as Lily tugged him out of the Portrait Hole. Lily ignored him. "Evans, give me the parchment so I know where Prongs is."

Lily stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned to face him, relinquishing her grip on his arm. She was pleased to note that her harsh grip had left angry red fingerprint marks. "You can find James' whereabouts with a blank piece of parchment?" she said sarcastically, but handed it to him nonetheless.

"I thought you were smarter than that," Sirius sighed with a practised air of haughtiness. He took his wand out and pointed it to the parchment. _"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."_

He solemnly swore that he was up to no good.

Um, was the bloke _mad? _

Lily was about to utter a biting insult when suddenly intricate ink lines and moving words materialised on the...

"Map!" Lily gasped, immediately snatching it from him. She gazed at it with astonishment. "Oh my _Merlin, _it's us! And Filch and McGonagall and the Ravenclaw Common Room! And so many _people!" _She turned to him, eyes shining with its newfound discovery. "Where on earth did you _get _this?" she asked him in a marvelled, almost worshipping tone.

Sirius scratched the back of his neck uneasily. "Um... we uhh..."

"Some elite Zonkos society?"

He gave her a weird look. "No—"

"Some _other _elite society?"

"Will you stop with the elite societies?" Sirius said in an odd moment of embarrassment. "We made it, okay? Prongs, Moony, Wormtail and me. We needed something to help us sneak out, knowing that we wouldn't be caught. Moony had the idea midway through Third Year—"

"Remus?" Lily interrupted, aghast.

"Yes, Remus," he said impatiently. "He had the idea, and we worked to get all the spells and enchantments right and finished it at the beginning of Fourth Year."

"Oh my God," Lily whispered, following Filch's trail with her finger. "You guys really are amazing, aren't you?"

"Yes uhh, I suppose so." Sirius nudged Lily's back. "Come on, we have to find Prongs, right?"

"Where is he?" demanded Lily, eyes searching the many finely-printed names in vain. "I can't see him."

Sirius looked at the map with a frown, running an expert finger over it. "Not there, there, there," he muttered. "Transfiguration classroom maybe... ah, yes. There we go – he's in the Transfiguration classroom."

Lily's expression was comical to say the least. "At four in the morning?"

"At four in the morning," confirmed Sirius. Underlining the still _James Potter _name with his finger, he suddenly winced. "Shit. _Mischief managed."_ The map immediately reverted back to its blank state. Sirius turned right at the nearest corridor without another word.

"Hey, wait up!" Lily said, jogging up to meet his fast pace. "Why would he be in the Transfiguration class alone?"

"I don't know, you tell me," replied Sirius with forced humour. "Maybe your study ethics really _are _rubbing off on him."

"Seriously, Black," she said in a warning tone.

Sirius sighed. "I _am _serious," he reminded. Then he muttered in a defeated tone, "He was with someone else."

"Melody Varnes?" Lily shot back in an instant.

"Yeah."

After Lily simply bit her lip and continued to walk, Sirius ventured hesitantly, "I just don't understand why he'd be with her though. It's so... unlike Prongs. Why would he..."

"Just drop it, Black," Lily said softly. "You've got the rock with you, right?"

Sirius froze. "Crap."

"What kind of _idiot _are you?"

"A very serious one."

Lily gritted her teeth. Sirius' eyebrows shot up amusedly in a sort of challenging gesture. _He's helping me, he's helping me, _she chanted to herself._ Do not strangle him. He's helping me. He's probably stronger than me anyway, which gives me even less reason to attempt to strangle him because I would just end up embarrassing myself even more. He's helping_ _me._

"And we're here!" Sirius announced cheerfully, slapping a hand on the door knob leading to the Transfiguration classroom.

"Stop sounding so happy about it," grumbled Lily from beside him.

"Oh come on, Evans, it's Prongs. I know him. It looks bad, but he _wouldn't_—"

Suddenly, the door swung open.

With Sirius' hand still resting against the handle, his body lurched forward slightly from the movement. He quickly let go, shaking his wrist about lightly before lifting his gaze to meet the sight of James and Melody Varnes tumbling out in a giggling mess, Melody clinging to him with dishevelled hair and smeared makeup and James' hand gripping tightly the small of her back halfway up her shirt. James gave a throaty laugh and pressed a short kiss behind Melody's ear. She squealed and practically pounced at his face, and James willingly – _willingly – _obliged.

After several more moments, he froze at the realisation that there were two people witnessing the intricate details of his secret rendezvous.

Two _really _stunned, speechless people.

Indeed.

Lily's voice was caught in her throat. She found herself unable to blink, move, or even _cry _for that matter. Her head throbbed, causing her to feel slightly faint.

She had been expecting this, but not... _this. _That by no means made it any easier to come to terms with. She swallowed hard, still staring at James and Melody.

James and Melody.

They were...

She felt sick. So sick.

And really, _really _angry.

James hadn't moved an inch ever since becoming conscious of the fact that he had been caught red-handed. "L-Lily?" he choked out.

"James," she whispered. "How could you? I... I _trusted _you."

After a thick silence, Melody finally shot Lily a haughty glance and tightened her grip around James' arm.

And that was it.

How _dare _she do that.

Lily's eyes flashed dangerously, her mind spinning in a crazed mess.

She acted spontaneously then. No emotions, no thinking – nothing.

First, she glared at James with as much loathing as she could muster. His brows furrowed in a small crease at this outward display of hatred, and above all the shock and embarrassment James looked strangely... confused.

Then Lily turned to Sirius, grabbed his face, and kissed him.

* * *

**I have nothing to say, but that reviewers get a sneak peek to the next chapter. ;) Love you all!**

**~ birchermuesli xoxo**


	24. Letting Go

**Wow.**

**I have nothing else to say. Just _wow._**

**All... all of you reviewers, you have made me speechless. Gobsmacked. If I could hug each and every one of you one million times over, I would. So here's one million virtual hugs to you in the form of a new chapter! :)**

******Thank you to Kit (K Corra) who brainstormed all of these plot ideas with me! :P**  


* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 24**

After the initial shock of finding Lily Evans' lips pressed against his, Sirius grimaced and turned his face away. He clamped his hands around her shoulders, gentling pulling her back. "Stop it," he murmured. "He's not worth it."

Lily's eyes blazed. "Do you think I care?" she spat, wiping her mouth with the back of her sleeve. "He can do whatever the hell he likes."

Sirius' grip tightened. "Stop it," he repeated harshly, his stormy-grey eyes boring straight into hers. When Lily had simply settled to cross her arms and scowl at him, he moved to focus his attention on James.

James had not moved a single inch since witnessing the kiss between Lily and Sirius. He was still rooted to the spot, regarding them with sheer disbelief. His hand, however, was still firmly attached to Melody's – something which Lily determinedly made a point to ignore.

"I'm..." he croaked.

"I don't think she gives a fuck, James."

Sirius' gazed flitted briefly towards James. His eyes narrowed slightly – more in disappointment rather than anger. He parted his lips, then after several moments closed them again. His gaze dropped down to the ground. Sirius curled his lip in disgust. "You're an arsehole."

He turned away, hand still clenched tightly onto Lily, and walked off.

* * *

"I have to tell Emmeline," were Lily's first words upon entering the Gryffindor Common Room. It was warm, even though there were only several glowing embers of the fire remaining. Despite the cold, Lily felt stuffy, overheated and tired.

Drama. Why was there so much _drama _in everything?

Sirius looked unamused. "After all that's happened, that's all you can think about? Telling Emmeline that you kissed me?"

"No, I have to tell her," Lily insisted. "It would be so unfair if I didn't. If she finds out before I get to her and takes it the wrong way..." her voice trailed off.

Sirius had turned his back to her. His arms were crossed, and his stance seemed incredibly tense. "What a bastard," he muttered to himself. "What an absolute _bastard._"

Lily didn't know what to say. After a few awkward moments of silence, she decided to leave. "I'm going up now. See you," she said, proceeding up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. Lily hesitated at the last step. "And um, Black?"

"Yeah?"

The words came out without her even thinking. "Thanks."

Sirius snorted. "That's hardly something you should be thanking me for, Evans," he called over his shoulder as Lily disappeared from view.

With the ghost of a smile on her lips, Lily entered the dark and silent dormitory, treading with soft steps so as to not wake anybody up. She stopped at Emmeline's bed. "Em?" she whispered, shaking her friend's arm gently.

Emmeline groaned and rolled to her other side, now facing Lily.

"_Em!"_

"What?" her friend mumbled, face sinking further into one side of her pillow.

Lily looked around, anxious not to disturb the quiet. She knelt down, leaning in further. "I need to tell you something," she hissed. "And you'll _really _want to hear this."

Emmeline pulled the blanket over her face. "Can't it wait till morning?" her voice came out muffled.

"It is morning, actually," Lily informed. "Half past four in the morning. Look, I'm really sorry, but you just _have _to hear this. It's about James."

"Leave me alone. Let me sleep."

"I kissed Sirius."

Immediately, Emmeline sprang up to a sitting position. She groaned particularly loudly as dizziness overtook her senses. She pinched the bridge of her nose, regarding Lily with disbelief. "Come again?"

Lily grimaced. "You'll want to be wide awake for this."

So, several unintentional collisions with inanimate objects and many colourful swear words later, Emmeline found herself being pushed into the bathroom with a towel and a fresh change of clothes. "But that means you've kissed the same guy as me!" was all she could splutter. "_My _lip germs are on _your _lips now!"

"You'll hardly want to kiss me after this," said Lily grimly, before sliding the bathroom door shut. "I'm really sorry Em – really, I am. Shower now. Explanation later. Deal?"

"This better be good," grumbled Emmeline. She snorted, muttering to herself. "Four thirty in the morning, who does she think she is? _I snogged Sirius, _pah! As if she would even have the guts to kiss such a sexy hunk—"

"Em," said Lily from the other side of the door. "I can hear you, you know."

There was no reply. She heard the squeaky sound of a tap being twisted. The water rushed down.

* * *

Emmeline's reaction was incredibly strange, to say the least. She uttered all the right curses and looked appropriately appalled when Lily told her of discovering James with Melody, but when Lily reached the part about her kissing Sirius...

"You woke me up for that?" Emmeline said, annoyed. "Why do you always insist on interrupting my sleep for such trivial matters?"

Um, what?

Lily blinked quickly several times. She was at a loss for words. "Y-you... but I... I _snogged _him, Em!"

Emmeline snorted, pulling her duvet over. "Yeah, sucks to be Sirius." She glanced at Lily. "Oh, shut your mouth already before a fly goes into it," she said a little mockingly. "Honestly Lil, I don't really care. Snog his face off for all I care. Hell, you're probably terrible at it anyway."

When Lily continued to simply stare at her, Emmeline grinned and shoved her off lightly. "Now, are you going to let me sleep or not? Scoot, woman."

* * *

Sirius made a habit out of bringing the rock with him wherever he went.

He also made a habit out of bringing Lily with him wherever he went.

Lily didn't really mind about either, really. He no longer used the rock to read her thoughts – or rather, she _hoped _he didn't – but instead focused his entire attention on trying to "figure out" James. He seemed to be adamant to find something wrong, something _different – _a sort of explanation as to why everything had happened as it did.

Lily soon grew sick and tired of it – sick and tired of _everything. _No matter how many times she protested to him against leaving the issue alone, his resolve was set. He insisted on keeping alert for strangeness in anybody's behaviour that might clue him into something.

"Strangeness?" echoed Lily with a sarcastic humour as she filed into the Great Hall with him for breakfast one morning. "You don't think James is acting strange right _now?_"

Sirius shot her a sideways glance. "Stop it with the act, Evans."

"What act?" Lily plonked herself down at the Gryffindor table, loading her plate with a large helping of chocolate waffles.

"I don't even need to be reading your thoughts to know that this whole... thing with James and Melody is hurting you a lot. You look like part of you has died inside."

Lily fixed her stare on him. He gazed back unflinchingly. She sighed, averting her gaze. "It doesn't hurt so much," she admitted. "It's more of a numbing feeling, I'd say."

Sirius began to eat a pancake. "Uhh... so," he said casually. "Did you talk to Emmeline?"

Lily screwed her nose. "Yeah, I did. I think you two are made for each other. She's even crazier than you are."

That made Sirius grin. "Didn't care one bit about it, did she?"

"Nope."

"Told you," he replied smugly. "There are better things to worry about than snogging me. Even though it _would _be quite overwhelming for such inexperienced birds like yourself."

Lily's face darkened. Sirius continued, enjoying this all too much. "Remus, James, now _me. _You really do have a thing for us Marauders, don't you?"

"Only Remus!" she snapped, stabbing her fork into a waffle. She took a bite out of it, chewing rather violently. Then she added a little reluctantly, "I _wish _it was still only Remus."

"But Moony's not good enough for the likes of me, is he love?" said Sirius smoothly, flashing her a smile that most girls would kill to see.

Then all of a sudden, Lily felt a tapping at her shoulder. She turned around.

"Amos?" she said in a surprised tone.

Amos, it seemed, did not enjoy early morning breakfasts as much as Lily did. His hair was ruffled and messed up in an extremely inelegant way, distinctly resembling a lion's mane. His entire face was incredibly fatigued with large bags haunting those dull green eyes.

Lily frowned. So if he wasn't a morning person, why was he up so early? Had he been...

_The bloody arse has been _following _us? _scorned Sirius' voice in her head. Lily stole a glance at him. His outward expression was blank, but his right hand was – as she had suspected – shoved deep down his pocket. _Merlin, what a wuss. And they say that this is my competition. No wonder all the chicks come to me._

Lily pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. She looked up to Amos with a smile. "Hmm?" she said.

"Well, uhh..." Amos bit his lip and put his hands on his hips nervously.

"Wow Diggory," Sirius drawled. "You're looking more and more like the girl deep inside you every day."

"Shut up, Black," Lily said.

_Do you see him? The sod probably wants to ask you out._

"I'm sorry," blurted Amos. "I'm really, really sorry. I never knew that you would actually take me seriously, I _swear. _It was just a joke, my mates dared me to do it—"

"Do what?" Sirius intervened harshly.

"Tell you that Potter likes Melody Varnes," Amos said in a small voice. He stared at his feet, crossing his arms by his chest as if it would block him off from Sirius and Lily. "I didn't mean to make you that worried. Honestly, truly. People have said that you're avoiding him like the plague now. He really wants to talk to you – both of you."

"That's great, Amos," Lily replied tiredly, not believing him in the slightest. "I don't really care, but thanks."

"Great," said Amos quickly, nodding quickly. "That's great. Now I'll just—"

"A dare?" Sirius barked, focusing a steely glare on the boy who had half-turned away. "Why the rudding hell would you be dared to do something like that?"

"I don't know!" Amos exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "Because Lily was my—because I went out with Lily before?"

"Yes," Sirius continued carefully, still eying him down. He cocked an eyebrow. "What horrible taste she used to have. So how can you explain the fact that James Potter has practically dumped Evans and is now _actually _skirting the hallways hand-in-hand with Melody Varnes?"

Amos' eyebrows shot up. "Really?" he said incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," said Sirius stonily. "I'm very serious. Have you been dipping around in the Dark Arts, Diggory? Imperius curses? Or was it a love potion?"

"Excuse me?"

"Answer the question, Diggory."

"What are you talking about?" Amos scowled. "You're absolutely mad, did you know that?"

"I'm perfectly aware," replied Sirius dryly. "At least I don't pretend to be manly, though. I just _am. _That's enough. Thank you for nothing, you're dismissed." And with that, he turned around and lifted the maple syrup jug, pouring it over his pancakes.

Amos shuffled off with a bewildered expression on his face.

Lily snorted. "Quite the frightening interrogator you make, Black. You have issues."

Sirius swallowed the pancake whilst engaging in a one-sided glaring match with the table. "Diggory was speaking the truth," he muttered grudgingly.

"Huh?"

"All that dare crap... it was all true. He wasn't lying."

"_Really_? Wow, that's strange," remarked Lily, seeming unnervingly bright. "Come on, we have Charms soon. Let's go."

She stood up and tugged on Sirius' arm. His hand was still lodged deep down his pocket.

* * *

_Everyone is making such a huge deal out of this, _Lily wrote into her journal that night. She was on her bed, resting the journal against her knee. It had been a long whilst since she had written in it – the last entry she saw when flipping back was some time halfway through Fourth Year. However, today she simply felt the _need _to write in it, just as she seemed to have an overwhelming need to shower. She had had three showers today already. It seemed remarkably... cleansing of sorts.

It was so strange, everything was so strange. She had given up trying to make sense of everything.

_The whole school knows. Sirius went ballistic at James when he sat with Melody Varnes in class today. James couldn't stop looking so _confused. _The Marauders have split up, almost. Sirius isn't talking to James, and Peter is scared to take anyone's side so he just runs away whenever he sees one of them approach him. Remus is just... kind of awkward around everybody._

Lily tapped her quill against her cheek, frowning in concentration.

_I feel kind of bad, even though this wasn't my fault. Everybody is treating James like he has some contagious disease or something. They're hardly talking to him, and when they do it's only when they absolute _have _to. Sirius told me that it's because they're angry at him for ruining Hogwarts' 'golden couple'. James and I were NOT the golden couple. Sirius has rocks in his head. I'm surprised that he's physically able to hold it up._

She needed a shower. She _really _needed a shower.

_James is freaking out. He keeps trying to talk to Sirius, but Sirius is way too pissed to even try to listen. Yet, he insists on listening to James' thoughts – like I've always said, I will never understand that guy._

_Em and Alice are acting normal, treating me as if nothing ever happened. I'm glad for that, actually. I don't think I'd know what to do if more people started to treat me like I'm made of china or something. Because really, I could not care in the slightest about what happened last night_.

_Well, that's ridiculous. Of course I care. He bloody cheated on me with Melody Varnes – I mean, Melody Varnes? As if he doesn't have higher standards than that! But aside from that, I'm just so SICK of all of it, sick of making excuses for him and giving him chances and having him BLOW it all off. _

Lily scrutinised what she had written so far. She had been scribbling so quickly that there were several ink blots all over the page. Whoops.

"Lil, come _on_!" called Emmeline from inside the bathroom. "We've been calling you for ages! Just get your arse over here so I can try this lip gloss on you! Mum just got back from her holiday and sent it over, it's some posh brand from France or something—"

"Okay, okay, coming!" Lily interrupted. She quickly scribbled,

_Got to go. Okay, from tomorrow morning I'm starting over again. No drama, no James, no nothing. I'll just let this whole thing go. _

_I have to finish my Transfiguration essay. Hopefully I can get Remus to work with me for that, if I manage to get Black to leave me alone for an hour or so. I should insult his hair. That usually works._

_I still can't believe he thought that James and I were the _golden couple. _I mean, that's taking it too far. Golden couples are like... wow. Golden couples are those couples that you... oh, whatever. I'm going now._

"LILY BLOODY EVANS, IF YOU TAKE ONE MORE SECOND—"

Lily slammed the journal shut and practically leaped out of bed, running down the room. "I'm here!" she said breathlessly, stopping at the doorway with a grin.

But there was something wrong.

"Oh good," said Emmeline, pleased. She beckoned Lily to come in, and shut the door behind them. Alice was standing beside her with a sweet smile, pulling her hair into a short ponytail.

And then it hit Lily. They were entirely lip gloss free.

She immediately backed away with narrowed eyes, placing her hands up in front of her in defence. "No no no... _what_ are you guys planning this time?"

Alice laughed softly. "Smart girl. Picked up pretty quickly this time."

"I'm fragile," Lily blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "You shouldn't mess with my mind. Does really nasty things to my head, and I've just been through a really traumatic experience."

Emmeline and Alice just stared.

Yeah, that's what her best friends did – _stare. _

"You guys don't care for my wellbeing?" Lily said, trying and failing very miserably to feign hurt. She crossed her arms with a scowl. "What is it going to be this time? A _makeover _or one of those horrible ideas that never seem to work?"

"Shit," remarked Emmeline. "She _is _smart."

"Not a makeover! I am girly enough already, thank you very much! I don't need—"

"Well, she's only half-smart, I guess," Emmeline continued, smiling at Alice knowingly.

"I need to shower," said Lily lamely. "Can we postpone this one more day, perhaps?"

They both ignored her. Alice rolled her eyes at Emmeline. "Stop it," she said to her in a deadpanned tone. "You're killing the suspense with that absolutely ridiculous pompous act."

"I will not stand for this, partner-in-crime! This is _scandalous! _Betrayals are absolutely..."

Lily soon tuned her ears out to the meaningless banter. Meanwhile, she sat against a wall, examining her nails in an odd moment of femininity. Well, she was about to have a makeover anyway – might as well start now. They were quite nice, actually – all refined and pink with pretty half moons. Petunia always held a grudge against her for that – she was stuck with the long brittle nails that somehow reminded Lily of a horse. In fact, everything about Petunia reminded her of a horse.

So engrossed was Lily with Petunia's nails and horses, that she did not notice the wand directed at her until it prodded firmly against her cheek.

"So," Emmeline said calmly. She was standing in front of Lily's crouched up state, towering over her like a giant – kind of like Rapunzel with shorter hair. Lily felt a light tingle run from her cheek through her entire face. "What's all this rubbish about James and Melody Varnes that you haven't clued us in on yet? And how come I have it from good sources that you supposedly don't care about him anymore? Tut tut – lies, lies. Better start telling the truth or your nose might start to grow longer, Pinocchio. I mean, you _do _want a nice makeover, don't you?"

* * *

**Just a casual remark... to all of you budding English students out there, can you find the symbolism behind Lily's constant need to shower? ;) **

**I can't thank you enough for your support. Reviewers get sneak peeks! :D**

**~ birchermuesli xox**


	25. That Glimmer of Hope

**Oh _dear. _I am incredibly sorry for taking so long to update... five or six days, I think it's been. That must be a new record. Thank you so much to all you stunning, fantastic reviewers. If you knew of the depth and scope of my love for you, you would be blown away. Literally. ;)**

**So I was doing a bit of a rough outline of the rest of the story with KCorra the other day (who has been such a great help with the plot) and discovered that there will be only five chapters left of this story. :( I just wanted to say that all your support has been _amazing_, and I couldn't have gotten even remotely as far as I have without you.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Grace and Cheri. May your time in hospital with skin cancer fare well; you are such a great inspiration to us all. **

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 25**

The makeover was... wow.

Just wow.

Painful to the _extreme _at times, but Lily had to admit that suffering for this was well worth it. With soothing cleansers and vomit-green facial masks, and Emmeline's hair treatment and the extensive assortment of brushes that were poked and prodded all over her face, the entire process took an absolutely ridiculous amount of time.

So, in the meanwhile Lily grudgingly told them everything – all the way back from when James had lied to her about her parents being alive and how heartbroken and betrayed she had felt, to now – how Amos Diggory had warned her about Melody Varnes, and how his caution actually turned true, but how the next day he had claimed that the whole thing was just a dare. How the feeling of finding James and Melody was too horrible and shocking to put in words, like having her entire world tip upside down. How James was now looking more confused than ever and wanted desperately to talk to her and Sirius, but Sirius was too furious to even consider doing so, and Lily simply wished to separate herself from any more crises in her life.

"I mean," she babbled on whilst Emmeline powdered on her makeup, "a fresh start, yeah? No more drama, just normal and content Lily Evans going about her daily affairs. That's what this makeover is good for! A fresh start. Yes, a fresh start."

Emmeline withdrew away from her face, a sardonic look overtaking her features. "Lily Evans will never be normal," she bit back, fighting a smirk. "Nor will she ever be content, to that matter."

Lily didn't respond to that. "Just layer that powdery crap on me already," she snapped, sitting up straight with her eyes closed.

By far the worst, however, was Alice's meticulous eyebrow shaping.

Seriously. Why did the girl insist on using tweezers? Lily didn't care if Alice's eyebrows looked like they were ripped straight out of a modelling magazine. Using tweezers hurt_. _

A _lot._

"Those men better be grateful for this bloody pain us girls go through for them," Lily winced as Alice ruthlessly plucked out another few hairs.

"You don't do it for them, love. You do it for yourself," replied Alice serenely.

Well _sorry_, Miss Yoga Maid.

"I was perfectly happy with my original eyebrows, thank you very much."

"Oh yes. They were quite nice, actually – especially for someone who had never done anything to them before." Alice's face broke into an uncharacteristically wicked smile. "But you want a fresh start, don't you? To woo James back in with your new pair of spectacular eyebrows?"

"Can't you just use magic?" Lily growled, biting hard down on her tongue. Her hands gripped on hard to the edges of her seat. "And I do _not—_" she winced – "want to woo Potter back in. I _told _you that I'm done with him!"

"You try sculpting your eyebrows with a wand. Don't come running back to me when you have only five measly hairs left on each." Alice took several steps back, scrutinising Lily with a studious frown. "There," she said, pleased. "That wasn't so bad, wasn't it? You're done." She swivelled Lily around to face the mirror.

That was when Lily had temporarily lost the ability to speak. So instead, she gawped at herself.

Oh, lovely. Turning into a narcissist.

Everything had been done to such subtle details that she could hardly tell what had made the difference – but by Merlin, _was_ there a difference! Her pale complexion glowed, and she looked fresh and awake. A hint of eye makeup in several neutral tones brought out the colour and scope of her emerald green eyes. Her red hair, soft and shiny, fell midway down her back in light airy waves. Her lips shimmered with a pale pink lip gloss and her cheeks seemed to have a rosy red perfection to them. That may or may not have been due to her incessant blushing about James, though.

Lily shut her mouth, tracing a stunned finger around the outline of her face. She blinked.

She looked really, really pretty.

* * *

She hated it. She absolutely hated to admit it, but Lily missed the old James Potter.

He was still _there_ most of the times, humour and jokes and all. Just to prove to herself that she was able to move on, Lily would often engage in a conversation with him in those rare few times when his hand was not surgically attached to Melody Varnes'. She usually did so during classes that she had with him but not with Sirius – Arithmancy, for example.

They talked about anything and everything – school, their families, the upcoming holidays. It was an unspoken understanding between them that the subject of Melody Varnes and that night in the Transfiguration classroom would not be broached upon. Both of them remained safe in their comfort zones, chatting away with ease.

Lily kept on reminding herself that she did not care, and that she was only talking to James to pass away the time. Unfortunately, her mind had different ideas. She found herself enjoying these small conversations far too much to her liking.

She couldn't help it. He was just such a hilarious, _obnoxious _loon. A playful slap here and there didn't mean much, did it? By Merlin, it was nowhere _near_ flirting_. _

So why did her heart sink for those few moments when Melody Varnes returned and James' smile widened into something so full of adoration that she had never seen from him before?

It was almost... fake.

One day, everybody aside from Lily and James had left when Arithmancy had finished. They were both laughing about an amusing time in Sixth Year during the Quidditch Cup Final when James had flown over to Lily mid-game, asking her out in such a loud voice that the entire of Gryffindor could hear.

Suddenly his laughter ceased and he remarked all out of the blue, "Your hair looks really nice today."

Lily instantly turned an unsightly shade of tomato red. She froze for a few seconds before laughing it off. "Yeah, Alice and Emmeline did some weird things to it a couple of nights ago."

"It's good," he insisted, looking thoroughly embarrassed. He added aside to himself, so softly that Lily had to strain her ears to hear, "It's always so damn _nice_."

Then Melody Varnes had come to pick up James. With just one glance at the beaming Sixth Year, the peculiar James that Lily had seen just moments before crumbled away before her eyes.

"I'll see you at dinner, yes?" James promised, looking over his shoulder as he happily obliged to being tugged out of the classroom by Melody.

Lily forced a smile to her face, though her lips felt parched and dry. She took a small steadying breath before replying, "Yeah, sure. See you there."

Lily didn't know why any of them bothered with those kinds of farewells. Both of them knew that whether or not he was sitting at the Gryffindor or Hufflepuff table, James would be with Melody Varnes at every meal, period. Perhaps they both felt uncomfortable parting with no final words.

So like always, James would leave and Lily would be left to pack up her belongings alone. She didn't let the tears fall. She convinced herself that there _were _no tears to fall.

Lily said no word to Sirius about these small encounters, although she suspected that he already knew about them. She didn't want him thinking that she hadn't gotten over James.

Because clearly, she had.

* * *

Lily frowned. It was late at night in the Common Room, eleven o'clock or so. She, Alice and Sirius had just finished their History of Magic assignment. They had been winding down for ten minutes or so, lounging back on the couches. Most people had gone up to their dormitories to sleep already.

"Do you know what's strange?" Lily broke the silence. "I keep on getting the feeling that I'm being watched."

"Really?" said Alice.

Sirius continued to stare down at the fire, his eyelids drooping. "Well who would be watching you?" he said sarcastically. "Unless you think you have a secret admirer, of course."

"No, only _you _get the creepy admirers."

"True," Sirius nodded smugly. "And Moony, of course."

He had failed to mention James, but Lily didn't point this out. "But honestly," she insisted. "I didn't mention it before, because people would think that I was mad—"

"You got that right."

Lily glared, shoving Sirius' shoulder hard. He didn't move an inch. Sirius smirked.

What a fat pig.

"Go on," Alice encouraged. She smiled sleepily. "Ignore him. He's probably just enjoying the feel of you touching him."

"_Excuse me?" _Sirius immediately shifted himself to the opposite end of the couch, looking absolutely appalled at Alice's words_. _He opened his mouth again to protest before Lily cut him off.

"I didn't want to people to think that I was mad," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. "But I can't get rid of the feeling of just... being watched. Followed, whatever. It's really disconcerting." She pouted her lips in annoyance, scrunching up a used piece of parchment lying beside her and throwing it into the fire. Lily watched the flames engulf it, charring it to thick curved black strips before the parchment shrivelled down into the glowing orange coals.

* * *

The following day, the Gryffindors had Potions class again. Slughorn had imposed a twenty minute time limit to brew the Draught of the Living Dead, announcing that the best potion would receive fifty points awarded to their House.

"Hey Padfoot," someone hissed behind Lily and Sirius. Lily groaned internally. It was James again. "Could we _please _talk?"

"So," Sirius said loudly, ignoring him. "Want to be my partner, Lilykins?"

Lily screwed her nose. "Not really, but sure."

Sirius smiled, locating his copy of _Advanced Potion Making _and flipping to page three hundred and forty-two. He quickly ran a finger down the ingredients list. "Okay. So you get the wormwood, asphodel and valerian roots. I already have sopophorous beans, snake fangs and the sloth brain." He snorted. "Why the shit would anyone need sloth brains to mimic death?"

Lily giggled in response. "Wormwood, asphodel, valerian roots. Got it. Okay, see you." She used his shoulder to stand up from her desk, clapping his back lightly before heading off to the storage cupboard.

"If I hadn't known better, Evans," Sirius called out from behind, "I would've thought that you were being a little suggestive just then. Is that why you made yourself all hot overnight? You look stunning, by the way." He let out a low whistle.

Lily turned back to throw him a dirty look, her cheeks burning upon realising that everyone had heard Sirius call her 'hot' with his girlfriend still in the same room. Her eyes anxiously scanned the class. Emmeline looked no less than amused, though. She was grinning madly, fighting back the urge to laugh. However, Lily was slightly shocked to see James' eyes flash for a brief moment, almost as if he were _angry _over the almost-flirty exchange with Sirius_._

_What? _she mouthed at him.

James perked up immediately. Then after a few seconds, his face fell and he slumped back down, fixing his gaze on the desk in front of him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head slowly.

Lily turned away again. What a waste of time. She felt extremely hot and stuffy. _I really need a shower, _she thought in frustration.

It was a known fact that the ingredients in the storage cupboard were replenished every Friday night after classes had finished. Today it was Tuesday, so there was plenty of supply of each ingredient.

Lily had no trouble locating the first two. _Wormwood, asphodel_ – she grabbed a handful of each. Craning her neck to the higher shelves, she began to search for the valerian roots. They were on the second top shelf to the left, were they not?

Her eyes strained to locate the ingredient, scanning the small labels on each of the shelves from left to right. _Peppermint, pomegranate, Re'em blood, runespoor eggs, salamander parts, tubeworms... _

Her face registered into a triumphant smile when she saw the fading white label that read in black capitals: _VALERIAN ROOTS. _But then she looked above the label, and the smile on her face was wiped off within an instant.

The entire supply of valerian roots had run out. How inconvenient. How incredibly annoying. Now how was everybody supposed to brew their potion with the vital missing ingredient?

Lily placed her hands on her hips. She shook her head, letting out a small breath in disbelief. No one _ever _needed valerian roots. Sure, it was worth heaps and was unbelievably hard to find, but it was also such a rarity in potion making. Hogwarts could occasionally go several months without needing to replenish the stock. Everybody knew that there was only one potion that required a great supply of valerian roots, and—

She froze. _One potion._

Double shitting _fuck._

Sirius' voice came immediately in her head, attentive and urgent. _What's wrong, Evans?_

Lily was in no state to reply. Her mind was racing, trying to put the pieces together.

This was not good.

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh _dear._

Sirius was by her side within seconds. He closed the cupboard doors halfway to obtain a degree of privacy. It smelled dry and lifeless, somewhere in between burnt herbs and dead animal. "What is it?" he repeated with a small frown.

Lily made a face. "Somebody here's been brewing Amortentia," she said to him grimly.

* * *

It was dinnertime. Lily had recently freshened up, feeling alive and new after a long shower. Emmeline had charmed her makeup and hair before so that it was entirely water-resistant, so she still looked as different as she did the night before.

"Moony!" she heard James' nervous voice sound from several seats away. "Could you please pass the potatoes?"

Remus obliged, giving him a small smile before continuing to finish the meal in front of him.

"So Moony!" said James again. "How have you... how have you been, mate?" The word 'mate' sounded wrong coming from him. It was spoken awkwardly, with all the wrong feeling.

Peter leaned forward, including himself in the conversation. "Where's Melody?" he asked in an odd moment of daringness. He immediately looked frightened, as if regretting asking the question.

James sat back, his expression suddenly happy again. His eyes glazed over. "With Professor Binns," he said. "He wanted to talk to her after class about this assignment that he gave her a bad mark in. She'll be here in a few minutes. You guys don't mind, do you?"

Remus regarded him drearily and sighed. "No, not at all. Excuse me, but I didn't have a very good sleep last night." He stood up and walked away.

James gave Peter a puzzled expression. "But it's only half past seven," he said. "Why on Earth would he need to go to bed already?"

Lily narrowed her eyes, clenching her jaw. She felt like punching him in the face. Would he stop acting so _clueless _about everything?

"Wormtail? Why are you—oh, okay then. Bye," James said glumly as Peter muttered something about remedial Potions before running off as well. He turned around, looking strangely lost amongst the usual friends and classmates that he had sat with every day for more than six years. When his eyes met Lily's, his face brightened up again. "Oh, hey Lily! I just figured out what I wanted to say before—"

"Save it, Potter," interrupted Lily curtly. "Go to your girl."

James swallowed, looking exasperatedly between Lily and Sirius who both refused to acknowledge him. He said nothing.

"I really don't think he has anybody on his side anymore," Sirius said in a low voice some time afterwards, when Melody had found James. He saw Lily's eyes scan over the couple and gave a short, harsh laugh. They had completely disregarded their dinner, instead deciding that eating each other's faces off was a far better idea. Lily's jaw hardened, the expression on her face unreadable. She chewed on her chicken slowly, staring down at her plate with a strained calmness. "If he wasn't such an asshole," continued Sirius, "I'd almost feel sorry for him."

* * *

**Congratulations to all of you who guessed that James was under Amortentia! You're just too cool. ;) I will be sending through sneak peeks to all reviewers. See you soon!**

**~ birchermuesli xx**


	26. The Snape and the Diggory, Part Two

**So you probably all hate me now, since I took one week to write this chapter, when it really should have been one day. But please don't bring out the pitch forks yet, because I've tried my best - seriously! I just got terribly sick for a while and didn't really start writing until two or three days ago. And I _did _try to make it up to you by making it slightly longer than usual. :P**

**I would just like to say a huge, HUGE thanks to all of you fantastic reviewers (and alerters and favouriters)! Thank you for sticking by me with my crazy plots and long rambles in my Author's Notes. And now onto the chapter!**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 26:  
**

"All Sixth Years," boomed Professor Dumbledore from the staff table, "will be attending a N.E.W.T. information session here in the Great Hall for the entire day tomorrow. Please arrive here promptly at nine o'clock in the morning with all necessary note-taking essentials. Thank you." He sat back down, gesturing with a light wave of his hand for everybody to resume their lunch.

Oh, how she _loved _that Dumbledore.

Lily smiled, piled rice onto her place, then smiled some more.

Alice's arm hit her face as she reached out for the pumpkin juice. "Whoops, sorry!"

Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled, digging into her fried rice happily. "Oh, that's perfectly alright. Don't mind yourself."

Emmeline narrowed her eyes. Her chocolate brown hair looked especially nice today, worn out loose in light waves.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

She replied, "You," and tapped the back of her clean fork against her cheek in suspicion.

The girl had very strange habits.

"Oh, is that so?" replied Lily in an offended tone, though she could not wipe off the unnervingly bright grin on her face. "Care to explain?"

Emmeline pointed the fork at her face. "It's that," she nodded. "You're smiling too much."

Lily's spoon froze midway through entering her mouth. That had caught her off guard.

What, a girl couldn't be happy every now and then?

Emmeline continued. "You're usually a whiny arse," she explained whilst shoving liberal amounts of mashed potato in her mouth. "Always complaining about something or another. The crappy food, a couple of First Years disrupting you when you were writing an essay..."

"...a couple of _Second _Years disrupting you when you were writing an essay," Alice led off, nodding her head. "How irritating Sirius is, how he never leaves you alone, how McGonagall didn't give you an O in that essay because those First and Second Years were interrupting you..."

"And normally, Alice's arm hitting that pretty face of yours would have warranted a snide remark of at least, 'You're an arse', or 'Watch yourself, pig. I'm trying to eat here.' But we had none of that this time. No, we—"

"Okay, enough!" Lily interrupted, a little embarrassed. She wrinkled her nose at them. "You guys are crap mates. So what if I'm happy? And as a matter of fact, McGonagall did give me an O for my essay today," she clarified smugly. She swallowed a spoonful of rice. "I'm just _that _good. Not even those bloody irritating First and Second Years can deter me."

"My guess," said Sirius loudly, bringing the girls' attention to him for the first time, "is that Evans here is having a little celebration because that sleazebag Melody Varnes will be away for the entire day, and she'll get half-normal Prongs back all to herself."

Lily sank down into her seat, sulking. _You are an assumptious prick,_ she communicated to him.

"In fact, I'm almost completely certain of that," Sirius added, eyeing Lily's burning cheeks with an unhidden amusement. He stared at her mockingly, grey eyes sparkling.

Why did she insist on surrounding herself with such morons?

Lily said in a deadpanned tone, "And I'm sure that you're so certain about yourself, because you're a mind reader, right?"

Oh, _shit._

She almost hit herself when those words came out of her mouth.

"Well yes," replied Sirius pleasantly. "I _am _a mind reader, with a very special instrument to help me that you, unfortunately, cannot get to."

"Because otherwise you will drop it down your underpants," finished Lily, scowling unpleasantly. "I know, I know."

"Good girl. You're a very fast learner."

* * *

"Do you know what I've discovered?" said Sirius to Lily as they descended down the stairs that led to the dungeon for Potions class. "Those bloody Slytherins – so many of them know Occulumency already. We're seventeen years old, and they already know how to block their minds off from people. How twisted could you get?"

"How many of them have you tried to read?"

"A fair few, I suppose."

Lily looked baffled. "But why?" she asked. "There's no point. Stop being so nosy."

Sirius ruffled his hair, giving it a more stylish, airy appearance. "Don't worry," he grumbled, moving to walk out in front of her.

"Sirius," Lily warned.

"You probably wouldn't approve anyway, being the tight-arse mother you are."

Narrowing her eyes, Lily pulled a chair over at a desk at the back corner of the room, forcing him down on the seat next to her. "Do _not,_" she said, fixing a steely glare on him, "get yourself mixed up with You-Know-Who. It's dangerous. They're not worth it – none of them are. Is this because of Regulus?"

Sirius looked a little perplexed. He blinked a couple of times before smiling at her lazily. "Lilypoo, I gave up on that darling brother of mine a long while ago. No, it's not about him. You really are quite daft sometimes."

At that moment, a group of Seventh Year Slytherins entered the dungeons. Lily had to squint to make out the identity of each of them; the corner of the room that they were in was pervaded by dark shadows. It was Snape, Avery, Mulciber and Malfoy. Her lip automatically curled in distaste.

"You see?" demanded Sirius, giving her a sharp nudge. His voice was urgent, tainted with frustration. "I can't read their minds – not one of them. There's something weird going on. Do you think any of them are behind this Amortentia thing? Recruiting innocent First and Second Years to fall in love with Voldemort?"

'Just a small observation'. Yeah.

Lily's head snapped back. She let out a small snort of disbelief. "Excuse me?"

"Okay fine. Not falling in _love, _but you know what I mean."

She turned back. "No, not really. But please don't try to explain further, I'm disturbed enough as it is."

She was distracted upon realising that Snape was trying to catch her attention – he was waving at her. His hair looked even greasier than before, sticking to parts of his face in large clumps. Lily couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him as he proceeded to give her the tiniest of feeble smiles – a forgiving, let's-start-over-again gesture of goodwill.

She returned it, biting her lip hesitantly. Satisfied, Snape turned away to locate his seat next to Malfoy.

"Him especially," muttered Sirius, making a distinct barf-like sound from the back of his throat. "Evans, you have terrible taste. What a piece of defensive, unsociable garbage. What is he..."

Lily's eyes flickered with irritation. "For God's sake, shut up about him. He's done nothing to you."

"Can't be too sure about that," Sirius replied darkly. But he moodily turned back to the front of the classroom and closed the topic, hands buried in his pockets.

The next couple of minutes proceeded with Slughorn announcing in a rather cheery tone that the most effectively-brewed Pepperup Potion would receive a small vial of Felix Felicis. He held it up high at the front of the classroom for everybody to take in longingly – the miniscule glass bottle contained enough to last twelve hours of good luck, he claimed.

"You have ten minutes, starting from now! Let the bloodbath begin." He walked off, chuckling at his own joke.

Oh dear. That man really needed to mind something better to do in his spare time.

"Felix Felicis," muttered Emmeline, shaking her head in disbelief. "_Merlin. _As if Sluggy didn't give us any notice! Now all the people who have actually been studying will have an advantage."

"Isn't that the point though?" Lily remarked, glancing over at Emmeline's empty cauldron in amusement. She was rather pleased with herself – Pepperup potion was one of her favourites to brew; she had made it two or three times already in the past during the chilly, wintry months. She sprinkled a few rosemary leaves into her cauldron. The bubbling concoction promptly turned the expected shade of light green.

Lovely.

Lily squeezed her eyes shut.

Felix Felicis.

For the first time in a long while, she allowed herself to hope.

Felix Felicis would allow her to...

Oh God. Oh _God._

She could get James back. Twelve hours was plenty enough time for that, wasn't it?

James, James, James. She wondered, with a degree of bitter amusement, why she seemed to insist on hanging onto that last thread of hope – that he wasn't indeed in love with Melody Varnes, that it was all a crazy, screwed up delusion.

It had just felt so _real, _though. His voice, his smiles, his...

"Ugh," Lily sulked, placing her head in her hands.

She missed the boy's goddamned kisses. Really, really badly.

But Slughorn loved her, and she was an excellent brewer of this potion. There was such a high chance that she had this in the bag already, if only she could—

"Okay class, time's up!"

Lily froze.

Her heart dropped as she set her eyes upon the unfinished Pepperup in front of her. She had spent so much time mulling over how much she missed James Potter that she had forgotten to actually tend to the potion that would _get_ her to the solution of the problem.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head vehemently. "No, no. _Shit._"

Slughorn began to make his way around the classroom, occasionally giving grunts or nods of approval. "Good, Mr. Mulciber. Not bad, Mr. Avery."

The next potions he found himself examining were Emmeline and Alice's. He passed them without comment, moving up to Lily and Sirius' table. Anticipation lit up on his features. "Now for some real stuff. That's more like it, Mr. Black!" he exclaimed in delight. His gaze turned to Lily's cauldron with full expectation.

He stood there for several seconds, silent.

Lily slowly felt herself shrivel down in her seat in a mixture of embarrassment, humiliation and despair.

Slughorn blinked, a small crease forming between his brows. "Lily, what happened?" he said quietly, his pudgy face falling in disappointment.

Her voice caught in her throat. "I-I'm sorry Professor, I just..."

His cheery smile returned. "No need for apologies, Lily dear. A perfect brew, only incomplete." He then turned away to observe the Pepperups of the other students in the class.

Lily slumped back in her chair, tears prickling at her eyes. She was so stupid. So effing _stupid._

"Thought you didn't care about him," murmured Sirius from her side.

"Thought that you decided to stop using the rock on me," Lily hissed back.

"Nope," he whispered smugly. "I've perfected the art of keeping a low profile on four people. That way if something strange happens, I can quickly switch from one to the other."

"You're mad."

"And extremely intelligent, yes."

"So who are they?"

"You, obviously."

"And James?"

"Yup."

"And?"

Sirius remained silent, instead turning his head to observe Slughorn as he continued to make his way around the classroom.

_Lily, what happened? _he had said. He had _wanted _to give her the Felix Felicis. A jolt of disappointment shot through Lily again. She shut her eyes, banging her head softly with the bottom of her palm.

She had been so close to making things normal again.

So fucking _close._

"It's all okay, Evans," Sirius said softly. "You can have it if Sluggy gives it to me. It doesn't seem like any of the other potions are getting anywhere close to mine."

Lily gave him a watery smile before focusing her attention on Slughorn again, who had stopped by the front of the classroom.

"The best potion, and the winner of this small concoction of Felix Felicis," he said in a forced jovial tone, "goes to Mr. Snape here."

Snape. _Snape _won the prize.

Shocked, Lily looked over to the Slytherin boy. He seemed to be as surprised as she was – his eyebrows had shot up and his mouth was unceremoniously widened open. Snape rarely displayed his emotion so openly. Like everyone else, he had probably expected the prize to be awarded to Lily.

Sirius' head shot up as if he had just received an electric shock. "What?" he barked, and settled a look of loathing onto Snape. "Oh my _fuck_," he spat. "You've got to be fucking me, right?" In his spiel of disbelief, one arm jerked in front of him and knocked down a vial at the edge of his table. It broke, leaving a medium-sized cut at the back of his hand.

All would have been fine, if that vial had not been used to hold _acid_ several moments before.

"FUCK!" Sirius yelled, though he looked more angry than hurt. There was a small sizzling sound as the cut grew redder and more inflamed. He shook his wrist violently, never taking his glare off a now very unsettled-looking Snape.

"Oh my _God_," exclaimed Lily, hovering her hands about him in panic. "Are you okay? Shit shit _shit, _I'll take you to the Hospital Wing. Does it hurt?" She gripped his upper arm and shook it frantically, imploring deep into his eyes.

Her face was just inches from his. But that was the least of her problems right now.

After an intense stare-off with Snape, Sirius finally turned his gaze towards her with a sigh. "Fuck, Evans," he said tiredly, dropping his arm down. "Don't do that. Prongs will get jealous."

"Are you okay? That was _acid, _for crying out lo—"

"Yes, I'm fine," Sirius interrupted. All of a sudden, he stood up from his seat. "Take all my stuff back for me, will you?" With a final curse under his breath and a shake of his head, he quickly walked down the classroom and exited out the door.

The entire class watched him leave without a word, shocked.

After a few tense seconds, Slughorn cleared his throat. "It was just a bit of Felix Felicis," he muttered uncomfortably. "No need to get so wound up."

* * *

That night after dinner, Lily realised that she had left her study books in the Transfiguration classroom. She had been in a rush before upon discovering that she was late for dinner.

She groaned. "Hey, I'll see you later, okay?" she said to Alice, mentally preparing herself for a gruelling journey up many irritating staircases. She had always gotten the feeling that none of them really liked her – ever since First Year, they would often spontaneously move when she was walking alone, causing Lily to lose her footing and become very frightened.

Stupid staircases, bullying innocent eleven-year-olds.

Alice nodded, giving her a small smile. "Bye," she answered before turning away, craning her neck in an attempt to find Frank.

Lily felt extremely fatigued at that moment. It had been a long day – first, the whole Potions saga, then that scary lecture from McGonagall about how Lily would not perform to her "full potential" in the upcoming Transfiguration N.E.W.T. if she did not raise the bar any time soon. That had resulted in a gruelling three-hour study session in the free time that followed. Her brain felt positively _fried._

Surprisingly, the staircases did not move this time. However, she arrived at the third floor – the level the Transfiguration classroom was situated on - it seemed strangely quiet. Nobody was there, and no lights illuminated the hallways. Lily wound through another corridor, feeling an eerie sensation settle down on her. A black, unpleasant feeling formed at the pit of her stomach.

But it wasn't regret, sadness or any of those other things she had felt in the past. She couldn't pinpoint an exact word to describe it. It was more...

"Amos?" she gasped as she rounded in on a shadowed corner by the Transfiguration classroom. There Amos Diggory's body lay slumped against the wall, robes and hair greatly dishevelled. He looked unconscious, but Lily couldn't tell if he was injured or not. She squatted down in front of him, lifting his chin up with the tip of her forefinger. It was cold – chilling, almost.

Lily's head was spinning. What on earth would possess somebody to get involved in a scuffle with _Amos Diggory_? He had a reputation in the school as a non-provoking, gentlemanly sort of guy, always steering away from a fight when possible.

"Amos?" she appealed to him more urgently, giving his marble-like cheek a tiny slap. There was no response.

"Shit," she muttered, bringing her hand back to her lap. She would have to levitate him down to the Hospital Wing, leaving her books behind for another day. That wasn't the problem, though. What was _really_ bugging her was the fact that she had no bloody idea why all these strange things had been happening lately.

"Sorry," she heard his voice blurt out in an unnaturally loud tone.

Lily's head darted up to find Amos' bright eyes – now wide open – gazing intently at her. She jerked in shock. "Shit, Amos," she said, breathing out heavily. "Don't scare a girl like that."

"Sorry," he said again, moving to stand up with a couple of moans. He used the wall to support his back as he winced and brushed his robes down.

Lily smiled. "That's okay. Let's get you to the Hospital Wing." She tugged his arm, beckoning for him to follow her.

"No." His face fell. "You don't understand. I'm really sorry."

Lily's eyes flickered with irritation. For Merlin's sake, was that all the boy could ever say to her now? "It's okay," she said with a tried patience. "Let's just go—"

"No, I can't." Amos shuffled in his spot, lowering his gaze to the ground. "I'm fine, really."

"Fine," repeated Lily through gritted teeth. She fixed a stony gaze on him. "What were you even doing there, anyway?"

Amos ignored her question. "It's my fault," he said in a rehearsed, panicked tone. "I'm so sorry." He thrust his hands into his pockets nervously. "It's all too much for me, and I just have to tell you. I feel really bad – horrible."

"What?"

"I was lying before – it _is _my fault that Potter and Melody Varnes are together. I was really jealous of you two, because you looked so perfect and in love, and I was jealous because you never saw that in me. Not that I like you or anything," he said quickly, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "It's just... yeah. So I put him under an Imperius curse – Potter, that is. Got some help from... library books. And now I can't reverse it, because I don't know how."

Lily could not do anything but stand there and stare incredulously at Amos, her eyebrows rising higher and higher with each word he uttered. Her head shook quickly from side to side. She ran two hands through her hair, stopping midway through to grab onto large chunks of it with her fingers. "Excuse me?" she spluttered.

_Imperius curses?_

"Hey, Lily!" called out a voice from behind.

Oh, what now?

Lily immediately stiffened – she could recognise that voice from anywhere. Half excited, half dreading to see him, Lily turned around to find the relaxed figure of James Potter walking up towards her.

She almost cried. He seemed so damn _normal, _with that adorable cheeky face and messy raven-black hair.

James grinned at her. He ruffled her red hair and swung an arm around her shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. "So, how's it going?" Lily fought hard to steady her breathing. That squeeze had made a huge mess of her insides. She closed her eyes, sinking her teeth down into her bottom lip.

_Ow._

Was this some kind of sick joke or something?

After several moments, James had finally registered Amos' presence there. The expression on his face immediately darkened. "Diggory," he said tightly.

"Potter," he replied with an anxious nod in return.

"What's he doing here?" James asked Lily.

The grip on her shoulder was causing her to feel incredibly numb. She swallowed hard, gently shaking herself away from him. "What are _you_ doing here?" she said thickly. "And how did you find me?"

Tears prickled at her eyes. She didn't care, she didn't care_... _

But it wasn't supposed to be this fucking _difficult._

Amos spoke again. "I'm sorry, Potter. I'm very sorry. I can't reverse it."

James' forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Reverse what?"

"Oh God," Lily muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Oh _God."_

What the _bloody hell _was going on here?

* * *

**Due to this horrible timing on my part, I didn't get a chance to fully edit this chapter properly. I don't know... does being sick make you a really crappy writer? Because I felt like vomiting as I was typing the words out... they were just so _bad._**

**Anyway, there will be three chapters left of this story. *tear* You guys are all so amazing.**

**Reviewers get sneak peeks. ;)**

**~ birchermuesli**


	27. Finally, Finally, Finally

**Argh! I'M HORRIBLE, I know, I know, don't tell me! One million apologies to you all for that fifty-year-long span that it took for me to update, and one million thank yous to all you stunning, fantastic reviewers. Sorry to a couple of those who I didn't send sneak peeks to; I was about to post the chapter anyway!**

**Thank you so so so much to KCorra for the amazing help with the plot. :):)**

**Anyhow, I'll stop mumbling nonsense now. Onto the chapter!**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 27**

Amos was dispatched to the Hospital Wing without further question. James insisted on restraining him by the arms, lest he run away "like the little cowardly arse he is". Lily didn't try to stop him. She was far too willing to sacrifice her sanity for any hint of the former James she once knew.

Amos said nothing in argument - he was too busy apologising to James. And he did so repeatedly, over and over.

James tried most of the time to ignore him. However, after a few minutes a twitch of his eye showed that he was very, very bristled indeed.

"_What _are you sorry for?" he finally roared.

Amos looked frightened and cowered away from his menacing glare. "Didn't she tell you? I put a curse on—"

"Don't listen to him," interrupted Lily quickly. She tugged on James' arm urgently. "He's crazy, mad. Hasn't stopped talking blabber since I found him."

She couldn't let him find out about Amos' Imperius curse claims. Who knew how he'd react?

Amos opened his mouth in protest, but before he could speak Lily quickly drew her wand out and uttered, "_Silenco._" She turned to James, uttering a nervous laugh. "Now we can get to the Hospital Wing in peace."

James' lips tugged into a smile. "Can't believe that you used to go out with him."

"That was one time!"

"You really liked him before that Hogsmeade trip, though," he chuckled.

Lily settled a stony glare on him, not bothering to ask how he had known – or figured out – her feelings towards Amos. James was unperturbed, simply laughing even more.

"For Merlin's sake," she huffed. "Sirius said that to me as well."

The grin was wiped off his face within an instant. "What?" he asked, rather solemn for somebody who had been setting deep, wall-cracking rumbles throughout the castle just seconds before.

Metaphorically, of course.

Lily eyed him carefully. "He couldn't believe that I used to date Amos."

James didn't say anything in response, but she could tell that he was thinking – hard. She couldn't fathom a guess at _what_, though. Perhaps he was wondering how the hell he had managed to ruin their friendship so quickly.

James finally asked after a long period of silence, "How is Padfoot doing, anyway?"

"Fine," Lily replied quietly.

"I miss him," he mumbled. His voice was extremely soft, and Lily had to strain her ears to hear him. It was so full of earnestness and sincerity that if had Sirius heard him, he probably would have teased James about the wavering state of his masculinity.

Maybe he _was _feminine. Lily didn't care – he still was breaking her heart all the same.

After Amos had been dropped off to the Hospital Wing, James and Lily walked back to the Gryffindor Common Room. The corridors were dimly lit, and both of them were too lazy to retrieve their wands to perform a _Lumos_ charm.

James broke the silence with a small sigh. "I miss everyone, actually," he confessed, continuing on from before. "Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, Frank... Em and Alice." He laughed shakily, running several fingers through his hair. His hands stayed there at the top of his head and he sighed again, this time more in exasperation. "Not just them. _Everyone. _And I really miss..."

_Me? _Lily desperately wanted to ask. _Do you miss me?_

Without a second thought, she pulled him into a tight hug.

James was taken by surprise at first. He froze, arms glued to his sides. After a few moments he tentatively responded, moving to encircle his arms lightly around her shoulders. A shiver ran down Lily's spine as she buried her face deep into his chest. She sniffed softly.

By God_, had_ she missed this.

"I've missed you so much," she whispered.

James' grip tightened around her. "Me too," he murmured back, stroking her hair with one hand. "You've absolutely no idea."

"Really?"

"Mm hm."

She couldn't help herself then. She just _had _to ruin the moment, didn't she?

"Then why... why are you still with Melody?"

His embrace immediately turned into something different. There was nothing that had changed about it in the physical sense, but it felt... colder. Much colder, and more distant. "What?" he said.

Lily's heart sank. Her lips barely moved over those next few words. "You love her, don't you?"

"Of course I do. What are you talking about?"

A jolt went through her. Lily felt as if she had been physically wounded. She cursed herself for thinking that everything would magically change, just because of one stupid moment – she should have _known_ that things didn't work that way_._

He had just ripped her heart in two. Trampled on it, even.

But honestly? Fuck new beginnings, and fuck pretending that she didn't care. She was so sick of it all, and honestly, it was a relief to finally admit it out to herself loud and clear.

She wanted James Potter – really, really bad, and _even _when he was off snogging some other shitty girl. So instead of letting him go, Lily pulled him in tighter. "Nothing," she murmured, and squeezed her eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling. "Just nothing."

* * *

At the end of breakfast the next morning, Sirius said in an almost casual tone, "So uh, I talked to Prongs last night."

"Oh?" Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah. He really likes you..."

Lily drew a sharp intake of breath.

"...as a friend," finished Sirius. He cocked an eyebrow, giving her a rueful glance. "You really need to stop asking him whether he loves Melody Varnes or not."

"I've only done that once," snapped Lily in response.

"Oh, my apologies," he responded sarcastically. "You just think about it so often that I'm forced to believe you actually ask him on a regular basis. I mean, no one can have their mind so set on one thing and still get O's on all their subjects." Sirius frowned. "Except for me, of course," he added.

"So anyway," Lily grumbled, staring pointedly at a speck of honey on the table. She stuck her finger in it and pulled it out immediately, screwing her nose in distaste. "What did you talk to James about?"

"Oh, uhh... you know," Sirius waved a hand about dismissively. "Stuff. Catching up on things. He's all good and fine, just as long as you steer away from the slaggy."

"So you've forgiven him now?"

Sirius paused, his brow furrowing in deep thought. He struggled to find the right words. "I wouldn't say _forgiven,_" he said slowly, "but the grudge has got to stop some time, yeah?" He shrugged. "He's still Prongs. Just with a very bad taste in girls."

Somehow, Lily had a nagging feeling that he was hiding something from her. But unlike him, she did not have the luxury of simply being able to touch a stupid rock in order to deem her suspicions true or not.

Instead, she had to judge by his facial expressions. And she was a very, _very_ bad reader of faces. Merlin save her if she ever needed to do that for a living. But it was worth a try, at any rate.

She narrowed her eyes slightly, regarding him with an open skepticism. "Hm," she said.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I'm sorry," he replied in a tone that clearly told that he was anything but. He cocked his head to one side, regarding her mockingly. "Did you have a problem?"

"You're hiding something from me."

He didn't miss a beat. "As are you," he replied. Then his face morphed into a lazy grin. "Or, as you've _tried _to."

What a bloody _pig._

Stupid, haughty pig.

Lily's jaw hardened in irritation. Sure, the guy was smart, witty, whatever. But sometimes – most times, actually – he was the most bloody _frustrating_ person to be around – and not in a good way, either.

She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly through her nostrils. "As funny as you are," she said through gritted teeth, "I would prefer it if you didn't pry into every single detail of my life and thoughts without permission. There _is _something called privacy, you know."

Sirius didn't react to it. She hadn't expected him to, anyway. But what really threw her off was the ever so widening grin on his face being accompanied by those shimmering, know-it-all eyes.

Um, hello? The Evans wrath was on the verge of being released. There was at least a _little _to be worried about. He should know, what with all the screaming fights she had gotten into with James in the past.

"Well, you want Prongs back, don't you? And don't you even think of lying about that," he said. "It'll just be a sheer waste of breath."

Lily pursed her lips, wondering where the hell this was going. "I suppose so," she said tightly.

"Then I suggest that you keep that pretty much of yours shut and let me do what I'm best at." Sirius stood up from his seat.

Um, what?

After several more seconds passed in silence, he turned to leave.

"Hey wait!" Lily called out. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

Sirius stopped and swivelled around on one foot. He winked. "Just think of me as your own private detective," he said with a sly grin. He brushed some invisible dust off from his shoulders. "What do you muggles call him... Sherlock Hobbs, is that it?"

"Sherlock Holmes?" Lily said in a flat tone.

"Ah, that's the one. Slipped from my mind, the little bugger."

"Are you shitting my arse?"

"No arse shitting, my love. Good day to you." He tipped an imaginary hat and departed from the Hall, a small smile playing on his lips.

Lily looked down to her bowl of corn flakes. She briefly contemplated trying to suffocate herself in them.

* * *

On her way out from the Gryffindor Common Room, Lily spotted Remus turning off into another corridor. "Hey, Remus!" she yelled, quickly jogging up to him. "What are you doing?"

Remus smiled. "Charms essay. Want to come?"

"Oh, essays! Lovely, perfect! Are you going the library, then?" she asked, voice laced with desperation.

"Sure, I guess," he replied, looking a little perplexed at her odd actions.

"Good." Lily grabbed his arm to steer him and power walked down the hallway. "Let's go then."

Remus stumbled along behind her. "Okay, whatever. Just um, please let go of me."

Lily continued to drag him.

"_Lily." _He tore his arm out from her grasp and rubbed a sore spot tenderly. "You really need to calm down," he muttered, sounding mildly amused. "Contrary to what you probably think, James and Sirius aren't out to try and get you."

Lily blinked. "What?" she said stupidly.

The sides of his lips twitched upwards. "James and Sirius aren't—"

"No, I know what you said. But how did you know?" spluttered Lily. Her cheeks began to heat up. Trying to hide her embarrassment, she quickened the pace out of the castle.

How humiliating. Did _everyone _know all the dismal details of her failed love life?

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Lily. Everybody in the entire school can tell. Whenever one of them comes within a ten-metre radius of you, you start acting all jittery and run off."

Yes was the answer, then.

Remus frowned in thought. "I get James... but come to think of it, what did Sirius ever do?"

They arrived at the front doors of the library. Lily sighed. She pushed them open and immediately headed towards the darkest, most secluded corner at the far back. Remus sat down with her against a bookshelf, placing his textbooks by the side. "So, Sirius?" he asked again.

Lily buried her face in her hands, letting out a loud moan. "He's going on about some horrible crap about how I should shut up and let him just _invade _my mind... something about him being Sherlock Holmes or something?" she wailed miserably. "Oh God, my life sucks."

"It's okay," Remus patted her back. His lips were pressed together, as if trying to suppress laughter. "You'll get used to it soon enough. Sirius holds absolutely no respect for anybody's privacy."

"I figured," growled Lily.

"And I really shouldn't be saying this, but uh..."

"What?"

Remus scratched his head, looking a little sheepish. "James seems like he still really likes you," he said quietly. "At least, when Melody's not around. Something's up with that, right?"

Lily sighed. "Yeah, we're working on that. The entire supply of valerian roots were missing, so—"

"Amortentia?"

Lily bit her lip. "Yes," she said slowly, "but last night I found Amos Diggory injured and all, beside the Transfiguration classroom. He kept telling me that James was under the Imperius curse... as in, _he _put him under it, but he can't figure out a way to take it off now..."

Before Remus could reply, she was suddenly aware of a pair of large feet in front of her. Her head darted up. She blinked rapidly several times over. "Oh bloody hell, you've got to be kidding me," she mumbled.

The world was playing a joke on her. She was _sure _of it.

"Hey!" James said as he moved to sit down in front of them. He strummed his fingers against a knee, eyeing Lily and Remus intently. "What are you two doing?"

Lily's forehead creased in confusion. He seemed kind of... jealous? "Charms essay," she replied in a guarded tone. Her voice sounded strained and forced.

"Charms?" James asked. "You guys didn't look like you were doing Charms when I saw you."

"We were just..." started Remus calmly.

"What's it to you?" Lily snapped, effectively ruining his peacemaking speech. "Who cares if we're not doing Charms? What do you think we were doing, _snogging?_" She laughed derisively.

Come to think of it, that really wasn't funny.

"I don't know. Are you?" barked James back. He narrowed his eyes, but not before a dangerous flash went through them.

"What's it to you?"

James opened his mouth, no doubt to say something angrily in reply. But before he could, Lily retorted, "_You're_ the one who left _me_, remember?"

"Careful Lil," murmured Remus from beside. "That rings awfully of bitterness."

"I didn't..." James started, but fell quiet again. He shook his head, sighing exasperatedly. "Jesus," Lily heard him mutter.

Remus shifted in his spot uncomfortably. "So uh, let's get started with this Charms essay?"

Lily blew a strand of hair out from her face, causing James to frown even further. "Right," she sighed.

* * *

"Kill me now," mumbled Lily from the corner of her mouth to Remus. She made sure that her voice was soft so that James wouldn't be able to hear. "That was possibly the most awkward study session I've had in my entire life."

Remus shot her a sympathetic look, but said nothing.

Lily snorted. What a sneaky little arse. He was enjoying all this, wasn't he?

They turned a corner in silence, walking down the hallway past the Hospital Wing. Lily began to feel really uncomfortable. James was a couple of metres behind – she could hear his footsteps move in sync with hers.

Yes, in sync.

It was strangely unnerving.

So when all of a sudden they _slowed down_, Lily just didn't feel right_. _She spun around to see what had happened.

"Padfoot?" said James weakly, looking down a hallway to his right. The beginnings of a large commotion took place, and several loud roars and bangs could be heard.

Lily snorted. He would _wish _that it was Sirius.

"What's this?" She pushed through and hurried down the corridor. "Is it those stupid Third Years who were messing around with the salamander skins last week? Thought they would've learnt their lesson by now, I gave them two detentions..."

Oh, oh _dear._

She stopped dead on her feet, jaw dropping open. "Shit," she said flatly.

It _was_ Sirius, as a matter of fact... and Snape.

_Snape._

"Did you really think that you could hide away for that long?" hissed Sirius as he charmed a large glass vase to fly towards Snape. It narrowly missed his face, smashing against the wall behind him. "Just face it. You're a dumb shit, and nobody likes you."

Snape narrowed his eyes, moving swiftly away from the broken shards of glass. He raised his wand at Sirius. "_Locomotor Mortis!_"

Sirius' legs locked together, causing him to fall backwards. His head knocked with a sickening thud against a wall.

Lily simply stood there, gobsmacked.

He quickly muttered the counter-curse before springing up to the ground. His face was beetroot red – it was the angriest that she had ever seen him. Quite frightening, actually. "Who the _fuck _do you think you are?" he spat. "_Petrificus Totalus!_"

"_Protego!_"

"_Conjunctivi—"_

"_Sectumsempra!" _bellowed Snape, pointing his wand at Sirius' heart.

"_PROTEGO!_" Lily screamed, moving in to shield Sirius from Snape's curse.

It was successful – Snape's wand dropped down to the floor immediately, though probably more out of shock than compassion.

After a few further moments of silence, she took the shield down and doubled over, feeling absolutely _sick_. Snape and Sirius were stunned to see her there. They obviously had not registered her presence before. "You... fucking... _pigs,_" she spat. She settled a deathly glare on the two of them. "What the _fuck_ did you both think you were doing?"

"He_—_" Sirius started angrily, but Lily cut him off.

"You_ especially,_" she yelled. "Who do you think you are, going around reading other people's minds, throwing curses at innocent passer bys? I thought you had _grown up – _to the extent that that measly brain of yours is capable of! You used to jinx Severus in Fourth and Fifth Year! You're in _Seventh _Year now – that's officially of age, you shithead! What the _fuck _is _wrong_ with_—_"

"Really, Evans," interjected Sirius smoothly. "As I said, you really do baffle me with your daftness sometimes." He brushed his robes down with a practised, unsettling calmness. "That slimy little git over there_—_" he thrust a thumb behind his back towards Snape – "is the reason, and the _only _reason why your boyfriend currently wishes nothing more than to go off and shag Melody Varnes."

Lily blinked. Her mouth dropped open.

She closed it promptly several seconds later. There was silence for the next few seconds - but by God, it felt like an _hour _at least_. _She was shocked, stunned to the spot.

_The reason, and the _only _reason..._

No. No, it couldn't be.

Seeing the words of denial form on her lips, Sirius threw her a sharp look. "No, really," he said. "I'm being fully serious here."

* * *

**The full explanation will come next chapter. In the meanwhile, feel free to brainstorm theories. :) **

**There are two chapters left of this story - thank you so much for all your support! I've also just started a small James/Lily drabble story called Hazy, which you can find on my profile. It would be so great if some of you could check it out. :P**

**I love you guys SO MUCH for encouraging me through this thing! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I really can't say that enough! :)**

**~ birchermuesli**


	28. Hugs and Reunion

**I'M BACK! So sorry that I didn't get to respond to any reviews, but they are so greatly appreciated, really! :P I've just been super busy because school started a few days ago.**

**So I kind of wrote this chapter today on a random spur of inspiration in a couple of hours. Sadly enough, it took me almost as long to proofread and edit it, and I still haven't really done that properly yet due to the shocking extent of my fatigue. :P Fingers crossed it isn't entirely crap. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Wake Up - Chapter 28**

"What?" James spluttered.

Lily shook her head to herself. No. It couldn't be...

"_What?"_

But didn't Amos say that he had put James under the Imperius Curse? Then again, he did seem incredibly suspicious. Why had he even gotten into a fight that night by the Transfiguration classroom anyway?

"What the hell are you guys talking about? Padfoot, I always knew you were crazy, but _this? _Snivellus has nothing to do with Melody and me!"

"Shut up, James," Lily snapped. Then she added grudgingly, "Please."

Ignoring the tense air around her, she racked her brains for anything - _anything _- that might give her an insight into Sirius' random declaration. So, if she _assumed _that Snape was guilty, then he must have been the brewer of the Amortentia. But—

"Lily," pleaded Snape. "Don't believe him. You know how much he hates me."

Lily's jaw hardened. Would he just _shut his mouth?_

Sirius didn't even bother to look behind his shoulder to snap a retort at Snape. He simply continued to stare stonily at Lily. _You see, _he communicated, _he knows that if he runs now, he's definitely guilty. Which he is, of course. But I guess he's still hoping that you're really _really _daft, like worse than Peter kind of daft. _

Mildly amused, Lily cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why don't you just tell me then, if you're so sure about yourself?" she said quietly.

"Whatever would be the fun in that?"

Lily groaned. "Bloody insufferable," she grumbled to herself, crossing her arms at her chest. "Just like that time in Potions class when he was practically openly flirting with me in front of Emmeline and all because of that stupid makeover." She screwed her nose in distaste. "Absolutely no sense of shame, I can't believe that..."

She stopped dead.

Potions class.

_Potions class._

And then everything _clicked._

"Oh God," she whispered. "You have got to be kidding me..."

"What?" said James, interrupting her thoughts.

She wouldn't be surprised if she looked like a zombie then. Her arm darted out in front of her, and she pointed an index finger straight at Sirius – though not in an accusatory manner. She clamped her mouth shut, shaking the finger at Sirius. "Potions class," she blurted out stupidly to him.

Sirius stared back at her, expressionless.

"Potions class," Lily repeated in a louder voice. "Don't you remember? Our class was brewing something... Deflating Draught, I think. Yes, it was the Deflating Draught, and James was my partner. We went to Hogsmeade the day before and we'd just gotten together." A lump formed in her throat. "We had had breakfast together that morning," she mumbled. "No one was there; it was really early. It was good... but Severus was there, kept miming _'No no no' _to me or something, shaking his head."

Her gaze flickered to the ground. No one had said anything. "So yeah, James and I had finished brewing the potion. And then he was rubbing circles between my shoulder blades and I—" Her cheeks turned red.

How did she even _remember _that?

"Anyway," she continued, "I went to the storage cupboard and Severus was there."

She looked to James. "Do you remember?" she asked him urgently. "Don't you remember that day?"

James hesitated.

"No one cares whether he remembers or not," remarked Sirius tiredly.

"I do," Lily snapped back.

Snape started in a feeble tone, "Why don't we just forget—"

"_Shut up and let the damn girl finish!" _Sirius turned his back to growl at him.

There was a short period of awkward silence.

Lily bit her lip. "Um," she said. "So uh, do you want me to..."

Sirius sighed loudly, throwing his hands up in the air. "Hurry up with it already," he said, rolling his eyes. "Daftness, I'm just surrounded by... daftness. All of this _daftness _is lowering my IQ."

She snorted. "So," she bit back with a glare, "I was at the storage cupboards and Severus was there. He'd been in there for five minutes already, which was perfectly ridiculous because people spend something like, twenty seconds there. I thought he had been _moping _because he wasn't happy about James and me being together_, _but..."

"But?" Sirius said, becoming irritated.

"But _now _I know that he was actually secretly collecting ingredients for Amortentia," finished Lily. Her head turned to Sirius sharply. "Because the week after, there was this sudden disappearance in the valerian roots supply. Right?"

Sirius tipped his head to the side, nodding at her appraisingly. "But then there was that strange encounter with Amos Diggory after class when he told you that James was in love with Melody, blah blah blah, and it wasn't actually true."

"No, it wasn't," continued Lily, becoming more and more excited. "Because _Severus _was eavesdropping on us!"

"You mean 'Snivellus'," James corrected cheerfully.

"Why are you so happy about all of this?" Lily said sourly. "We're disproving your theory of your eternal Romeo and Juliet love with Melody Varnes."

James shot her an amused smile. "No," he said. "I've just realised that all my friends... you guys are all are lunatics. So I just won't listen to you. And also, Melody's meeting me soon." He sighed happily. "It'll be great. We're going to go to the—"

"Remember I told you that I kept having this feeling that I was being watched?" Lily interrupted, narrowing her eyes at Sirius. "We were with Alice on the couches, and you just made fun of me for that. Turns out I was _right._"

He looked unperturbed. "My apologies, Lilypad. Even geniuses have their occasional stroke of oddness."

Lily looked at him incredulously. "Oddness?" she spat. "More like stupidity."

"No, no. People like me can never be stupid. It really is physically impossible."

Honestly, that boy was a lost cause.

She glared at him. "So meanwhile, Snape had a whole day to brew the Amortentia, and then he..."

"...got Melody Varnes over and told her to give him some Love Potion during dinner so that he would go all mushy and lovey dovey over her."

"_But,_" Lily said, "the potion was weak. You can dilute it with anything to soften the effects; Severus and I discovered that years ago when we were experimenting with potions together. That's why it only kicked in early the next morning when James left me by myself on the couch..."

"...and also why he didn't seem _overly _obsessed with Melody Varnes to the point that it was unbelievable." Sirius paused to screw his nose. "Still made me want to vomit, though."

The two paused for several moments.

"Who are you guys, twins with a psychic connection?" James remarked grumpily out of the blue.

"What about Amos, though?" Lily said quietly. "He kept confessing that he had put James under the Imperius curse, just for the heck of it. He told me he did it because he didn't want to be proven wrong, or something." Her eyes widened. "Unless it actually _was _Severus, and Amos was..."

"...under the Imperius curse _himself. _Yeah."

Lily's forehead crinkled in confusion. "Why on earth would Severus bother to do such a thing like that, though?"

Sirius sighed. "You know during our _other _Potions class when Sluggy was giving Felix Felicis to the best Pepperup Potion, and how Snivelly won it?"

"Yeah," Lily smiled at him mockingly. "And how you threw such a hissy fit over it that you broke a vial and got acid all in your cut, and stormed out the classroom without a single word afterwards."

"Now _that,_" Sirius emphasised, "was not because I was upset about the Felix Felicis. Well I was, of course. But you see, Snape himself was so shocked he had won it that his guard slipped down for a couple of seconds. That was enough time for me to find out through the darling rock of mine that he definitely _was_ guilty for causing this whole saga."

"Holy shit," Lily said sheepishly. She nodded in understanding. "You've really put a lot of thought into this, haven't you? Because you were talking about how so many Slytherins had already been trained in Occlumency, yeah?"

"Obviously," said Sirius haughtily. "And then I pieced everything together, being the utter genius I am."

Lily ignored his last statement. "And you started talking to James again, because you knew that he was definitely innocent?"

"Innocent of _what?_" started James angrily.

Sirius nodded, a hint of a smile on his face. "And you ran off with Remus this afternoon because we had both scared you off, and I found old Snivelly here."

"And now here we are," said Lily quietly. "So what do we do? We need to brew the antidote for James so he'll stop acting like such a..."

She stopped to blink very hard, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. "It could take _days, _though. I don't even know how to brew it," she finished off, looking miserable.

"Well," remarked Sirius in a cheerful tone as he pulled a small vial out of his pocket, "it's lucky you've got me then, isn't it?"

Lily's eyes bulged out. "That's it?" she asked, shocked. She stared at the vial in disbelief. "_You _brewed the antidote?"

But she didn't receive a reply, as Sirius was too busy unscrewing the vial, pulling James' head back and shoving the entire concoction down his throat.

Hmm. The boy did have brains, after all.

James spluttered and coughed, regaining his balance after Sirius had let go of his hair. He blinked rapidly several times over. "What the fuck, mate?" he choked. "Are you absolutely out of your mind?"

"This is going to be rough on the ego," Sirius commented to Lily in a low voice. "I don't know how demoralised I'd feel if I found out that I'd been pining after someone like that slag for however long he did."

Lily bit her lip, and she found herself unable to move. She simply stood there and stared at James, desperately searching for any hint of recognition or understanding in his eyes.

James' coughing gradually died down, and Lily watched as his glare morphed into something... different.

Something _mortified._

And before she knew it, he walking up towards her, urgently wiping his hands repeatedly against the white material of her shirt sleeve.

Oh, great - stunning, really. Absolutely fantastic.

Lily regarded him with uncertainty as he continued his strange behaviour. "Are you sure you brewed the right potion?" she hissed to Sirius from the side of her mouth.

Sirius leaned towards her ear. "Positive," he whispered back.

Suddenly, she was aware of an iron grip on her right forearm. "Don't kiss him!" said James urgently, shaking it with such intensity that Lily began to feel slightly concerned about the state of his sanity. "Please don't! I'll—"

"JAMESY!" a squeal came from behind. "I haven't seen you in FOREVER!"

Oh, for Merlin's bloody sake.

James dropped Lily's arm as if it was made of hot coals. Painstakingly slowly, he turned his back to meet the smiling, curly-haired figure of Melody Varnes. Her face was made up heavily – foundation, lipstick, eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara and all – and her eyes gleamed with excitement as she bounded up to James, jumping to envelop him in a tight hug.

Lily's fists clenched angrily by her sides.

James froze. After Melody pulled away, he stared at her for several seconds - absolutely, horror-strickenly _aghast._

Then he bolted off to the left corridor, dragging Lily and Sirius along with him.

Lily didn't know how long they ran for. The antidote seemed to have given James an infinite amount of energy as he bounded and twisted through hallway after hallway, never stopping for even a second to look behind his back.

_Finally, _after they had probably run through the whole rudding castle, James pulled them into an empty Charms classroom and slammed the door shut, panting heavily.

Sirius broke the silence. "Mate," he said flatly, "I cannot believe that you just ran away from her. Has that Amortentia changed you into a girl, or what?"

James ignored him, eyes darting frantically from Lily to Sirius. "Over there before, was that just... Melody Varnes?" he whispered.

"Yeah," said Lily ruefully.

"I didn't even know who she was before!"

"You do now," remarked Sirius. A large blinding smirk spread across his face. "You certainly know the inside of her mouth very well."

James shook his head fervently. "No," he said. "No, please no."

Lily was laughing along with Sirius now. James had reverted back to wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve, and his hands against Lily's sleeve. _Again._

"James," she said in exasperation. "I know it must be shocking to suddenly wake up and realise that all of this has happened, but your reaction has been rather disturbing, to say the least."

"Melody Varnes!" whispered James, moving to wipe his mouth again. "Melody! Varnes!"

"Just imagine how many times your tongue has been down her throat," said Sirius evilly. His eyes gleamed. "And how many times your hands have gone roaming places... really, who knows what you've been up to?"

"SHUT UP!" Lily screamed, turning a nasty shade of ashen white.

"_Thank you_, Lil!" exclaimed James as he nodded back to her, looking equally as sick and revolted. He tipped his head back. "_Fuck,_" he swore, glaring daggers at the ceiling as if it was the cause of all his problems. "Why did all this have to happen to _me_?"

"I know," said Lily. She frowned at him in sympathy. "You must feel absolutely horrible right now."

"I really do," replied James earnestly. "I mean, it's great to be back and everything, but _Melody Varnes..._"

Lily stared at him. His raven black hair had flopped to the front of his head, and his cheeks were slightly flushed. His eyes seemed more alive than they had days - all golden and sparkling and hazel.

Lower lip trembling, she pulled him into a hug.

She hoped it didn't remind him too much of Melody. Really, it wasn't her fault that the boy was so damn attractive. He only had himself to blame.

"Stupid Severus," she murmured. She bit her lip as he brought his arms around her, with one hand at her back and the other resting softly at her hair. "I can't believe that he almost ruined this for me."

"Hey!" said Sirius loudly. "Where did Snivelly go, anyway?"

"Huh?" James mumbled, fiddling with a strand of Lily's red hair between his fingers. "I guess he probably just ran off."

Embarrassingly enough, small tears formed at the corners of Lily's eyes. She hoped that nobody could see. "You're back," she whispered, burying her face deep into his chest. "You're actually back for real this time."

"Oh, get on with it, you lovebirds," Sirius drawled. Swinging the door open, he stepped out. "Save everybody the drama and just find yourselves a room," he called out from behind his back. "Or maybe you've already got one."

Then the door clicked quietly shut. Lily looked up to James.

She gave him a shy smile and laughed breathlessly.

* * *

**I'm about almost certain that the next chapter will be the last of this story. There MAY be an Epilogue. That is a huge MAYBE, depending on whether or not I'm okay enough to not completely screw up the ending. But I can't thank you enough for your support, really. :) You guys are just GREAT.**

**Our street just kind of got flooded... the rain goes up to my thighs. :S Anyway, hope you all have a great day and I'll see you soon! **

**~ birchermuesli**


	29. Tell Her

**I love you guys, I love you guys, I love you guys.**

**Last chapter. There will be an epilogue, but a very short one. To make up for it though, this chapter is much longer than usual. Hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

Life isn't how we always wish it to be.

People cannot go through such an ordeal and come out of it entirely unscathed, all forgotten and forgiven the next day. Those around them cannot simply revert back to old times and treat them how they once did in the past – even though essentially, nothing had actually changed about them. There would always be that element of shock and surprise – even a little distrust – that left its mark on that event.

So it was so for James Potter. His classmates did not immediately treat him with the same warmth as before, even after hearing the whole story behind his supposed love affair with Melody Varnes. Their encounters with him were often strained, with a soft element of caution. It took time; every one of these things took time. In turn, James did not make up for lost time and sweep Lily up into his arms, carrying her off to her fairytale ending and proclaiming his undying love for her.

Not _yet, _anyway. But that's another story.

Lily understood it all and stayed loyal and caring by his side. She, for one, would not have been ready for such a grandiose display of affection. But in the meanwhile, she showed everybody how she loved him – how _much _she really loved him, and in every sense of the word. They did everything together – sat next to each other in class, ate lunch (with the occasional sneaky peck on the lips every so often) and even spent their free time in the library studying for the upcoming NEWTs.

Yes. James Potter studied.

He probably didn't need to, and _she _probably didn't need to – but then again, why not? They walked out of every exam room in full confidence knowing that they had aced it all.

Only James bragged about it though. And Sirius, of course.

* * *

A couple of months following the whole incident, they were sitting with each other during breakfast. Lily could tell out from the corner of her eye that James had been looking intently at her, and for more than just a few seconds now. It seemed... different from the usual, that was all she could say.

She turned her gaze to him with a small smile. "Hey," she murmured.

James smiled back. "Hey," he said. His opened his lips to say something but then shook his head, evidentially thinking better of it.

Lily cocked her head. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he laughed lightly. "Some other time."

Lily tapped her fingernails against the jug beside her. "Want some pumpkin juice?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in question.

James shot her a look. "I think I'll be drinking out of my own flask now, thanks. We don't want any more Amortentias going around."

Lily rolled her eyes and grinned. "And what if it had Amortentia brewed in it for you to fall in love with _me?_" she said teasingly.

The expression on his face did not falter. "Well then," he said quietly. "I wouldn't need it, would I?"

* * *

"You two are like an old married couple," muttered Sirius to Lily one night by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room. "Always walking about hand in hand, embarrassing the living daylights out of me. Seriously. Could you please start acting like you're actually seventeen and not seventy?"

"It's not my fault," argued Lily. "We would have been perfectly fine if Severus hadn't gone and screwed everything up."

Sirius' face darkened, causing her to frown. "What happened to Sev, anyway?" she asked.

"Prongs wouldn't let me do anything to him," he grumbled, slumping back on the couch. "Said that we had to be fair and not sink so low, some bullshit like that. So we just told Dumbledore."

"That's all?" Lily asked, looking incredulous.

"I know! How shit is that? I can't believe he—"

"No, no," she interrupted with a laugh. "That's not what I meant. What did _Dumbledore _do?"

"Oh," said Sirius. "I wasn't really listening. He said something along the lines of how this issue was going to be taken very seriously, and how we were lucky that nothing too bad came out of it. Prongs was acting all mature and sombre, like the ass-kissing Head Boy he is. I swear, I see more of you in him every day." He shot her a rueful glance. "It's rather frightening."

Lily smiled at this, and a comfortable silence ensued for the next few minutes.

"So," Sirius finally said in a casual tone, and Lily was surprised to hear an element of caution in his voice. He seemed to be making a point not to look at her. "How was your breakfast?"

Lily blinked. "My breakfast?" she echoed.

"Yes, your breakfast."

Her forehead crinkled. What on earth was the boy talking about? She shot him a weird glance, but he still did not meet her eyes. "It was okay, I guess."

"Nothing... special?"

"No, not really." She cocked an eyebrow. "Unless you're trying to make me say that me being with James is special? Not saying that it isn't," she said hastily, "But it's not that, is it? What did you mean?"

Several seconds passed without response.

"Sirius?" She looked over to the boy in question, but he appeared to not have been listening to her. Sirius had turned his back to her, facing the armrest of the couch, and was now crouching over in a defensive sort of manner, as if trying to conceal something. "You gutless feminine girl," she heard him hiss. "I thought you were supposed to do it today."

Sirius Black was talking to himself?

In utter disbelief, Lily rolled up the sleeve of her shirt and pinched herself. Hard. It hurt terribly, and nothing different happened. She shook her head quickly back and forth.

What on _earth?_

"I need to give it time, or else it'll screw up!" another voice hissed back.

Lily's vision snapped back to Sirius. It was James – but he wasn't there. She briefly contemplated interrupting him – or them – but then decided that she would try to hear more of the conversation to figure out what was going on.

"You won't screw it up," was Sirius' reply. "She loves you, Prongs. You didn't see her when we first found you with Melody. I was scared to my wits that the girl would go throw herself out the window."

Wait. They were talking about _her?_

"That's the thing," James murmured, though she could still detect an exasperated tone in the soft voice. "I've messed up with her so badly, and we've really hardly had any proper time together. She's bound to say—"

"_Yes_. She'll say _yes. _Trust me mate, I'm not screwing you around." Sirius paused and shuddered. "Hell knows why I would want to screw you, anyway," he added. "And who cares about time? You're both bloody head over heels with each other. I would say that I feel left out, but I would rather not be included in you lovebirds' long passionate snogs and embraces. I mean, honestly – you can't even go five minutes talking to me without asking me if I know where she is!"

"Where is she, anyway?"

There was a short pause. "Oh shit," Sirius said.

James' tone took on a frightening edge. "Sirius Black, do _not _tell me that she's there next to you."

"Uh, okay then. I won't."

Lily could hear something that sounded suspiciously like a growl. "Has Merlin ripped the brains out of you and flung them into the Black Lake?"

"No, because if he did my hair would be quite disgusting – full of yucky brain parts, and all. And it's not. In fact, it's looking hotter than ever. If your hair was gay, it would totally want to make out with my hair."

"What the..." There was a pause. "You're mad, you know that?"

"Yup," replied Sirius cheerfully.

"You realise she can _hear _all of this?"

"Yup," he repeated again. "But that's not my loss, is it? Plus, this just gives you more reason to ask her now – and _not back out _this time_._ Prongs, you'll want to be doing this before school's over. Otherwise you might have different careers, and she'll forget about you and hook up with some hot hunking Healer..."

"She wants to be an _Auror_, Pads. Like me. And I thought you said she loved me?"

"She does," said Sirius impatiently, "but that's not the point. The point is—"

But Lily never got to hear what the point was, because at that very moment she finally chose to make herself heard. "James?"

"I—SHIT!" James' voice said, sounding absolutely horrified.

And then there was silence.

That had possibly been the worst way to go about finding out what they were talking about.

Lily immediately cursed underneath her breath. She punched the armrest of the couch with a balled fist.

Sirius turned around, holding a mirror in his hand, and gave her a guilty grin. "Uh... hey Evans! So you were saying before?" he said innocently.

Lily didn't fall for it. She regarded him for several moments with a quiet, settled intensity. "What was James going to ask me?" she asked.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're on about."

"No," she said in a warning tone. "Seriously, Black. This isn't funny."

"I am serious," muttered Sirius aside to himself. He looked up to her, lips twitching. "And I know that this isn't funny."

Lily stared back at him unsmilingly. "Tell me," she commanded.

"No," he replied. "It's not mine to tell." Then he raised an eyebrow. "And really," he said, "I'd be surprised if you weren't able to figure it out after hearing all of that."

Her heart jolted.

_I'd be surprised if you weren't able to figure it out after hearing all of that._

No.

Well, she _had _suspected, but...

Lily shook her head over and over, letting the shock slowly spread across her face. "No," she whispered. "That's impossible. He _wouldn't_..."

"Yes," sighed Sirius, "he would."

She was at a loss for words. "But it can't be, I—"

"Evans, is it really such a bad thing?"

No, it wasn't. Bloody frightening, _that's _what it was.

"Yes!" she wailed. "We're only seventeen years old!"

"You come of age at seventeen," Sirius said, with a hint of amusement gracing his features.

She huffed. "So?"

"So what? I don't know. You tell me."

Lily blinked and shook her head. Her mouth opened and closed. She blinked again. "Um," she finally blurted out, "where is he?"

Sirius' countenance remained expressionless. "No idea," he said smoothly.

She didn't even need the rock to tell that that one was a lie.

Lily's eyes flashed into a steely glare. "Black," she said threateningly, "_where is he?"_

"Where's who?"

"James Potter," she said through gritted teeth.

"And why would you want to know that?"

_"Because I fucking love him, okay?" _

She stopped with her mouth open, breathing out rather heavily.

She loved him?

Wow. Okay. She loved him.

She, Lily Evans – _Lily Evans – _loved James Potter.

Merlin save her soul.

Sirius' eyes widened for a flitting moment. Then he smiled – a genuine, real smile this time. "Nice to know," was his reply. "Room of Requirement."

* * *

Lily didn't know how fast she ran then. She didn't think, didn't worry – just _did. _The walls and paintings that surrounded her passed by in a huge, multicoloured blur. Her footsteps pounded, echoing loud; her ears were ringing, ringing...

An arm tugged her back. "Lily!"

Lily's heart jolted. She spun around violently to meet the anxious face of Severus Snape.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

_"What?" _she spat, ripping her arm away from his grasp. She was almost surprised at the vast amount of hatred that burned through her.

Snape regarded her, dejection clear in those pitiful black eyes. He seemed to be at a loss for words. "I just," he said thickly, "just want to..."

She couldn't believe that he used to be her friend. Her _closest _friend_. _Lily's throat felt so dry, like parchment. She swallowed hard, squeezing her eyes shut for a brief moment.

"I wanted to say sorry," finished Snape, and though she hated the boy to bits, Lily couldn't help but feel a stab of pity go through her.

She shook her head. "No Sev, it's—"

"No," he interrupted, sighing loudly. "No, I just want a chance to explain myself, okay? Have you got a moment – please?"

"An explanation," muttered Lily to herself. "Yeah, an explanation would be nice."

Snape cast his eyes down to the ground. "Look," he said, with a shake of his head. "I just... just couldn't stand you two being together. You don't know Potter. He's so _arrogant _and up himself, and all he does is strut around the castle all day with that Black, thinking he's so cool and—"

"That was in Fifth Year, Severus," Lily raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid to say that you're a bit behind time."

Snape let out a frustrated growl. "No," he said. "You don't understand, he's still like that—"

"Oh, really now?"

"_Yes. _He just doesn't... doesn't outwardly show it, that's all. He's still the _same _inside, and I... I thought that you hated him?" he finished off in a small voice.

Lily's eyes flickered to the corridor down the hallway where she had to turn into to get to the Room of Requirement. She sighed and began to bundle her silky red hair into a high ponytail (Emmeline and Alice had done a bloody excellent job at that makeover). Speaking to Snape always made her so hot and frazzled – and not in a good way, either. "So," she said. "You don't think that people deserve a second chance?"

Snape hesitated. "No," he said slowly. "Not Potter, at any rate."

Lily blinked. "So what makes you so special that _you _deserve one?" she said coolly.

"Look Lily, I—"

"Just go use your fucking Felix Felicis if you want anything done, okay?" she snapped, losing her cool.

She groaned inwardly. How could she be so stupid as to actually give him the idea?

There was an extended period of thick silence. Snape stared at her, looking utterly pathetic and hopeless in his small, hunched stance. Lily glared unnervingly back, eyes narrowed to thin slits.

Snape pushed a greasy tendril of hair behind his ear. "I can't," he finally said, shifting his gaze down to his feet. "Black stole it from me."

Lily snorted and shook her head. "Well, that's rather shocking to hear," she commented dryly. "The boy just might be as intelligent as he proclaims himself to be."

Then pursed her lips, turned on her heel and walked off.

* * *

Lily burst into the Room of Requirement, quickly slamming the door shut behind her. "James!" she said breathlessly. Her heart beat loudly against her chest. She scanned the large room.

But it was empty.

"Oh, you've got to be shitting me," she grumbled to herself, shaking her head vehemently. "Stupid Black, what a bloody moron. Thinks everything's so funny—"

"Lil?" a small, weary voice interrupted.

"James!" she exclaimed in a mixture of surprise and relief. "Where are you?" Frantically, her eyes searched over the room again, looking out for that dark mop of black hair.

Where was he?

She clenched her teeth in frustration.

_Where was he?_

And then she saw him – at the very back corner of the room, squinting at her in confusion. He had propped himself up with his elbows from a lying down position.

Her jaw dropped open (she was being incredibly melodramatic, Lily was). He was on a bed_._

James Potter was on a _bed. _

_A bed. _In the same room as her.

Looking absolutely bewildered, James quickly grabbed his glasses and shoved them onto his face. He blinked quickly several times over. "What are you – what are you..."

"What are you doing on a bed?" shrieked Lily, walking backwards till her back hit the door again. She thrust an accusatory finger in his direction. "Are you trying to give me ideas? Well let me tell you, Mr Potter – it's not working!"

It _was _working. But he didn't need to know that.

James sat up, swinging his legs off to the side. He was still in his school uniform, but his tie had been loosened and his shirt untucked. Lily pressed her lips together, feeling rather pale. It looked too bloody hot that it had to be a figment of her imagination. "It's eleven o'clock, you know," he said, throwing her a rueful glance. "And what are _you _doing here?"

"Never mind about that," she said impatiently. "There's no reason for you to be all bunked up in the Room of Requirement. Why on earth didn't you just go sleep in the dormitories?"

James averted her gaze, scratching the back of his neck. "Uh," he said sheepishly. "Well..."

Realisation dawned upon her. Her eyes widened. "Oh my God. You haven't been avoiding me, have you?"

Nice going there, Einstein.

"Not exactly, but..."

She advanced towards him with several purposeful strides, probably resembling closely those huffy old women on streets that scream at young children for doing something wrong, like picking their noses. "Wanker! I can't believe you," she snapped. "We are in a relationship! We might not act like it yet, but _we are together! _You can't just rent out a rudding bedroom in the Room of Requirement and not tell me about it!" Her hands were waving about maniacally. "What if I wanted to... join you or something?" she cried.

She stopped in front of him, breathing heavily.

James cocked an eyebrow.

"Not... not on your bed," she added hastily. "Just... just to join you. As friends. Friends-in-a-relationship kind of friends."

James pressed his lips together, fighting back laugher. "Yeah," he replied. "Sure. Well uh," he stopped to pat the space beside him. "Come join, then?"

"Oh, for God's sake," Lily grumbled, throwing herself down next to him. She looked pointedly away from him. "_Fine, _since you insisted upon it. You're impossible."

"Lil?"

"What?" she said crossly, throwing him a glare. She didn't even know what she was angry at him for.

James smiled. "You're really still exactly the same as you were before all of this happened, aren't you?" he said, letting out a quiet laugh.

"Well, obviously_. _Unless someone's been stalking around under Polyjuice Potion for the past few months..."

She didn't get to finish, because at that moment James kissed her.

And it was a real kiss this time, not one of those stupid half-second pecks that she had been receiving lately. His lips pressed hungrily against hers, hot and burning with desire. James grabbed the back of her head and pushed her down roughly onto the bed.

Lily was mildly embarrassed to realise that this action on his part didn't perturb her in the slightest, and that it had taken her a mere one or two seconds to respond just as eagerly. Her head felt incredibly dizzy. She clutched to his hair with both hands and hummed happily, pressing kiss after kiss on that stupidly, irritatingly _delightful_ mouth.

By Merlin, she had missed this so, _so _much.

Without thinking, Lily rolled him over till she was situated on top of him. She moaned and kissed and gasped and kissed some more, and somehow along the way James' shirt disappeared...

And really, the bed was just so _comfy_.

"Lily," James drew in a ragged breath. He pushed her away gently. "I need to—"

"What?" she drew away abruptly. She was breathing rather heavily for somebody who had just been engaged in a heated snogging session for – she checked her watch –

_Twenty minutes _already?

"Oh, _shit_!" she swore, still panting. "So long – and where did – where did your shirt go?" She frowned, ignoring the incessant twinkling in those warm, hazel-brown eyes. "And my jumper? What about – what about my jumper?"

"I don't know," James said, amusement evident in his voice. "You tell me. You seemed pretty eager to uh, take control of the situation just before."

Lily's face heated up. "Oh, shut up," she snapped, rolling to the edge of the bed and collapsing down beside him. She huffed loudly. "You – you just shut up. I hate the sound of your voice."

"My voice? Okay then, I can deal with that," replied James cheerfully, leaning over towards her mouth again.

Lily drew in a sharp breath. "No," she scowled, quickly grabbing his cheeks between her palms to stop him. "No more snogs for you, you arrogant piece of—"

James' smile disappeared, and he gazed back at her imploringly.

Lily's mind went blank.

She bit her lip, turning a nasty shade of red again. "Um," she said shakily, her glare faltering. "No more – no more..."

"Snogs?" he laughed softly, still trapped between her hands. "Yeah, okay grandma."

"Hey! I am only _two months _older than you, thank you very much—"

"You know my birthday?" he asked, looking genuinely surprised.

"Of course," Lily replied automatically without thinking. "Twenty-seventh of March."

"Oh," he said softly. A large, blinding grin spread across his face. "Well, that's nice to know."

They stayed there in silence for a long moment, James' face hovering inches away from hers. Lily's arms began to shake. "What I wanted to say before when I came to find you," she said feebly, looking uncertain under his intense gaze, "was that—"

"No," James interrupted. He sighed, closing his eyes with a wince. "It was stupid, forget about it."

Yeah, fat chance.

"Are you kidding me?" said Lily exasperatedly.

He grumbled in response, "Just pretend it never happened."

"Why on earth would I ever do _that?_"

"Well isn't that what you want?"

Lily was speechless, caught entirely off-guard. What _did _she want?

"I think – I guess I was just so insecure after everything that's happened. Because, well, I obviously want to be with you," James said with a small sigh. His entire body looked deflated – and not just his face. His shoulders were slouched, and he just didn't have any... _life _in him.

He was starting to remind Lily of Snape. The thought of it made her shudder. Sirius would have been so outraged.

"But I don't know if you'll feel the same way in a few months' time. And I understand, really. Only..."

Lily's grip dropped, but James' face remained in the same place. He blinked heavily, eyelids fluttering. "Only I don't know if I could handle that myself, you see," he admitted, voice dropping down low. His lips twitched into a small, sad smile. "And you know how much of a selfish pig I am."

Lily wanted to cry.

"Look," she said thickly. Angrily, she willed the tears to go away, and for possibly the first time in her life, they obeyed. She looked at him firmly. "I love you. More than you can ever imagine. For some twisted reason that even I can't get my head around, I like you a terrible deal. It scares me, I'll admit. And I'll never leave you, so long as you don't go off snogging more Melody Varneses. _Ever, _you hear that, James?"

She stopped as James gave a watery laugh. "But we need to wait, okay? No – no marriage." The word slipped awkwardly off her tongue. "It makes me feel so old, the word _wife. _Seventeen and a half is just too young."

And she knew then, when she had finished speaking, that what she had said was true.

After what seemed like forever, James finally broke into another smile. "I know," he replied, and drew her into a tight hug. "That's why I saved it till later, yeah?"

She knew.

She knew that what she wanted was James, but James taken in a _slow _manner_. _What they had was love, by no doubt – but they had barely come of age yet, and who knew what lay in store for them?

Well, there was really only one way to find out.

Lily felt a stupid grin creep to the corners of her mouth. She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, planting a small kiss and rolling around in a continuous stream of happy laughter.

Oh, how she loved the boy. Loved, loved _loved _him.

But the _best_ thing of all?

He still smelled like mango.

* * *

**Well, it's pretty much over and I've got to say that it's been an amazing, amazing ride to the end! Thank you all for making this so special. The epilogue will come out in a few days, but it's just really short to tie the story all together. **

**If you've read till here - feedback would be great, because I would just love to hear what you think! **

**There is a possibility of a sequel to this - so author alert me if you're interested in reading one. ;)**

**Again - THANK YOU SO MUCH, and I LOVE you guys to pieces!**

**~ birchermuesli**


	30. Epilogue

"Do make yourself comfortable, Miss Evans," said Dumbledore. Almost absentmindedly, he gazed off into the distance, his mind far away from the present. His fingers tapped lightly against the table, and as she strained her ears, Lily could hear that he was humming a song. She recognised it as the tune to _My Pink Witches' Hat._

She plonked herself down in front of Dumbledore, crossing her legs at the ankles and placing her hands in her lap. "Thank you, Professor," she replied.

Dumbledore gestured towards a small bowl by the side of the table. "Lemon drop?"

"No thanks."

"Very well then," he said cheerfully, and sat back in his chair with a visible ease.

His office was – lively, that was the only word Lily could put to it. Jam-packed with gadgets, completely random objects and portraits of all sizes. The large desk in front of her was of a warm, shiny chestnut brown colour. It added an inviting atmosphere to the room that would otherwise have scared the wits out of her.

Well, it wasn't _her _fault. Anyone would have been perturbed by an entire row of stern old portraits assessing her through their critical glares. It was almost as if they were judging her.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Miss Evans?" Dumbledore inclined his head at Lily.

Lily bit her lip. "Uh, why did you call me here?"

"Oh!" he exclaimed, as if the thought hadn't registered to his mind until then. "Yes, of course! I just wanted to say –" he flicked his hand in an indistinguishable gesture – "How are you doing?"

Lily's forehead crinkled in confusion. "With Head duties, sir?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "No. With Mr. Potter."

Lily heart stopped. He _knew _about the marriage proposal?

Well, the marriage proposal that hadn't actually happened. Lily sank further into her seat as she thought of this. She all of a sudden felt rather downhearted. "Mr. Potter?" she echoed back. "James?"

"Yes, Miss Evans," said Dumbledore, and gave her a knowing smile.

Now, what was that supposed to mean?

He continued. "How are things going between you two? What with everything that's happened, you must have been having a hectic past few months."

"Happened?" repeated Lily, voice rising a little in panic. "Happened? What's happened?"

He raised his eyebrows slightly at her. "The Melody Varnes incident, Miss Evans."

"Oh," she said sheepishly, breathing out a small sigh of relief. Melody Varnes_ – _but that was _ages_ ago. "Yeah. Everything's good. We're all back to… normal." A lump formed in her throat. "I don't really talk to Sev anymore, but that's just to be expected, isn't it?"

"Yes," replied Dumbledore, and Lily was surprised to detect a sad note beneath his voice. "Unfortunately, that is often to be the case. Maybe things will change in the future, though. And Mr. Potter?" he enquired.

Lily bit her lip. She squirmed in her seat. "James – James is great," she said quietly, looking down to her lap. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I would hardly be wishing for my two Head students to be at odds, would I?"

"We're not at odds!" she started angrily, but then quickly regained her composure. She sat up straighter, cheeks flushing. "I mean," she said, clearing her throat, "we're not really at odds, sir. Why would you think that?"

Dumbledore smiled. "That's good to know, Miss Evans. And your plans after leaving the school?"

"Auror training, sir," Lily said. "If I get in, that is."

"I'm sure you will. Incidentally, Mr. Potter also wishes to undertake Auror training."

"I know, sir."

"You two will do well together."

Lily's face turned a darker shade of red. "I – I don't think I quite understand your meaning," she said, staring pointedly at a bright white quill on the table.

"Oh, I'm sure you do," said Dumbledore warmly as he stood up. "You may leave – I'm sure you have more interesting things to do in your last days here."

A pang of sadness shot through Lily as she was once again reminded of her upcoming departure. However, it was quickly overtaken by suspicion – if she didn't know him well, she would have said that Dumbledore sounded almost… _suggestive _just then.

Like Sirius.

She was suddenly overcome with nausea with the mental image of a long-bearded Sirius Black as Headmaster of Hogwarts, establishing Pranking as a mandatory subject for all students.

Lily stood up quickly, moving towards the door. "That… that's all, sir?" she asked, eyes darting towards the exit.

"Yes, that will be all."

"Okay," she nodded, walking out the door. "Thanks." Her best attempt at a smile came out more like a skewed grimace.

Something in Dumbledore's look troubled Lily. It was really nothing out of the usual, but…

Just as she was about to shut the door behind her, Lily turned around again and ran into the office. Her heart beat fast, and she suddenly was overcome with a strange bout of panic. As expected, Dumbledore was still standing in the same position behind his desk, assessing her with a secret smile. "He wants to marry me," she blurted out breathlessly.

Several seconds later when there was no response, Lily wondered why she was so stupid as to think that Dumbledore would have already known. Now she had probably made James look like a lunatic – and herself even more of one.

"I know," Dumbledore finally answered, and when Lily raised her head to look at him again, she saw that he was regarded her with a quiet smile.

"You – you _know?_"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"But," Lily said, baffled. "But—"

"Without wishing to prod into the situation too far," cut off Dumbledore, sounded quite amused, "may I enquire as to why you have not accepted the proposal as of yet?"

Lily was lost for words. He tilted his head slightly.

Why hadn't she accepted the proposal?

_Was he doubting her love for James? _An overwhelming wave of sulkiness poured throughout her.

Stupid old man. Thought that he knew everything.

"With all due respect, sir," Lily finally managed to utter. "We're only seventeen years old."

"But Miss Evans," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling softly. He placed himself back down on the chair, adding more grace to the action than needed, and gently readjusted the half-moon spectacles sitting at the bridge of his nose. He smiled at her gently. "Didn't you notice during his spell under the Amortentia? Even then, he couldn't stop thinking about you."

Lily blinked. "What?" she asked in a small voice.

Then her mind was filled with James – James in First Year, as she helped him master the Levitation Spell in class; James in Fourth Year, in his joyous celebration when Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup; James in Fifth Year as Lily yelled at him by the Lake, feeling absolutely terrible about it afterwards; James in Sixth Year, all grown up but still with that frustrating immaturity that she couldn't help but fall for; James in Seventh Year…

_Seventh Year…_

And from the back of her mind came a small, distant voice: "Mr. Potter – he loves you so much."

* * *

**And now it's all over! You guys are so great and I just love you all. Just before you leave, I've a couple of dedications (it's in alphabetical order, just by the way :P):**

cerdogordo – Koala, I have nothing to say about you. You upped my review count to a square number – yes, SQUARE number. And you lied to me about that Round the Twist thing which I shall not elaborate upon here. You are the epitome of awesomeness.

ikeahp67 – Writing buddy, I can always count on you to have something to talk about with regards to HP fanfic writing. You are love-love-loverly and I hope the story goes well. :)

ilovemybestfriends – You've been here from really early on, and all your reviews just make me feel so happy and… _happy. _So, so happy.

Juricon – Thank you for being my beta-reader at the start, and motivating me with very motivational-like methods. ;) The experience of writing our angsty poems will stay with me for many years to come. (I'm not even joking.)

KCorra – I will never forget that phone conversation with you, when we had the greatest discussion of the remaining plot of my story. You are amazing. _Amazing_. I eagerly await the next instalment to read some hot James/Val action!

Mogseltof – thank you for the great support, and I've enjoyed sharing high school woes. Hope Year 12 goes swimmingly. ;)

mollylolly – Thank you for complaining with me about the awkwardness and immense difficulty of writing kiss scenes, and for motivating me to keep on writing. If I could marry your stories out of their pure sex appeal, I would. Please come out of your hundred-year-long hiatus and finish that Dolfy action off. ;)

SamsSmiles247 – hey, Australia buddy. ;) You're awesome, thanks for being there through pretty much every chapter of this story. And congrats on figuring out the James-Melody-Snape theory pretty much straight away – that is some solid intelligence you've got going on there!

S0phfeist – Every single time I talk to you, you brighten up my day. In an extremely non-creepy, platonic way, Siriusly. :P

SucksRoyalHippogriff – I just discovered that you found my story in Chapter Two, and you're _still _here (what is wrong with you, girl? :P). And you've been one of the coolest, most awesome people to talk with. :D

Tribot – you always give the most amazing comments and motivate me to write this story whenever I feel so incompetent. Keep on writing!

Lucia Rayne, WobblyJelly, klutz5637, Zakuro46, mimzy69, Atayla, Lixie87, LunaxNight, Ely Falla, MisszMarauder, Rue-the-Marauder and J.A. Hastings – some of you have stopped reviewing this story, some of you are still going. No matter what, I just want to say a huge thank you, because most of you have been here from the beginning (or close to the beginning) and have given the greatest feedback. I probably wouldn't have even gotten past Chapter 10 without you guys. :P

**Forgive me if I missed out on some of you. I am so terribly sick right now it's a joke. My head is swimming and I just can't think straight. :P But seriously, just give me a yell and I'll pop your name in if I've forgotten.**

**School is super hectic right now, but there _is_ a big chance of a sequel. I'll also be writing a couple of one-shots here and there, so keep posted! Hope you all have an amazing day (and week, and year…), and AU REVOIR for now.**

**I love you ALL.**

**birchermuesli xoxo **


	31. Author's Note

**Okay guys, greatest apologies to you all – the sequel won't be happening. I should stop lying to myself. It's just impossible with all the commitments I have on right now. I did, however, start another Lily/James fanfiction called 'This is Us' a little over a month ago, which is more of the light-hearted variety and hopefully much better written. Hopefully. It would be great if you could have a little skim over it - unless you have already, of course. Some of you are just too far ahead of yourselves, you sly dogs you. ;)**

**Thank you heaps heaps HEAPS for all your lovely support, and hopefully I'll see you soon! (Virtually, anyway.)**

**~ birchermuesli xx**


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